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To want another cat?

(29 Posts)
TooQuickToMoveOn Tue 27-Dec-16 23:01:26

I've name changed for this as it's pretty outing.

My husband and I can't agree about whether it's too soon to get another cat.
We had two cats, siblings, who were nominally the pets of my oldest DC, aged 10 and 8 years. Cute cats, affectionate and good with the babies. The more timid of the two disappeared one afternoon over a month ago and hasn't come back. He was seen mid afternoon but didn't turn up for dinner (very out of character) and hasn't turned up since. He was desexed and didn't tend to go very far away. We have all been devastated and have searched and searched, including the neighbour's property, called the cat pound, put out fliers and gone on a lost pet website which we check every day. He was microchipped but haven't had anyone report him. The cats are inside at night but wander during the day, but usually just to the nearest bed.

We live in a quiet street but it's possible that he was run over or maybe that the just wandered too far. I think he's likely dead and that the chances of his turning up are very very small.

The DCs and I went to the vets to get new flea treatment for the remaining cat last week and there were 3 calico kittens for sale and of course they all really really want one. I'm inclined to say yes for a number of reasons:
1) It's the long summer holidays here (Australia) so we're all around more and it's a good time for introducing cats to each other.
2) The remaining cat is gentle and has a good temperament and should be ok.
3) The daughter whose cat the missing one was is emotionally quite highly strung with a tendency towards mild anxiety. She would spend weekend afternoons with her cat, reading on the bed and sort of murmuring to him. I think the responsibility of a pet is good for her mental health. The remaining cat pretty much never moves from her younger sister's bed and it's not the same for her, especially as her sister won't let anyone else lie on there. DC1 has cried and cried and cried about her missing pet but was excited about a new one. This is probably my main reason.
4) We aren't irresponsible pet owners, our previous two cats were mine from uni days and lived until 14 and 18 years. A new cat would be adored and looked after properly.

My DH thinks it's a bad idea for the following reasons :
1) It's way too soon (I think he's grieving for the missing cat, although we all miss him too).
2) Our cat may still turn up and he'll feel replaced if there's a new cat in his place.
3) Introducing a new cat to an established cat may be much harder than we think and we may be minimising this.
4) If the missing cat turns up we'll have 3 cats which seems like too many.

AIBU for wanting a new cat? Or is my husband right?

Madeyemoodysmum Tue 27-Dec-16 23:41:16

I have 3 cats. 2 youngsters and a 14 year old female. Sister died a year earlier.
It took a six month period for my old girl to accept the kittens. But she came round eventually and seems happy now and quite likes the company. 3 😽😽😽 not too many. I'd have dozens but dh won't. 😀

Madeyemoodysmum Tue 27-Dec-16 23:42:47

My only reservation is if old cat turns up and smells new cat it may not come back

TooQuickToMoveOn Wed 28-Dec-16 00:00:54

madeye that would be a worry. I hadn't thought about that. It's been very unforgiving weather here - very hot and crazy stormy. Unless he's been taken in by another family who don't know about microchips (which is something I've talked to the kids about) I don't think he will have survived. Though I hope he will come back.

Madeyemoodysmum Wed 28-Dec-16 00:07:34

I'd wait another month and then maybe get a new kitten

sizeofalentil Wed 28-Dec-16 00:10:41

I realise this sounds insane, but have you tried the pee trick? Pee in a glass and leave it outside overnight. The scent can help a lost cat find its way home. I know lots of people who have tried this and only one who didn't get their cat back soon after. One pet had been missing for three months previously.

Also, I am not a pee troll, honestly.

tierny Wed 28-Dec-16 00:21:44

Our cat was missing for 6 months - presumed dead - I even got a call from a vet to go and identify a cat that had been brought in dead after being run over. Picture a mad woman with 3 kids in tow racing across town to a vets I'd never been to before and was struggling to find, for them to bring out a dead, very frozen, tortoiseshell cat which was definitely not our Charlie ! Explained that as per my description on the phone, Charlie was a Tabby. Anyway months later Charlier came strolling up the front path, DH tried to grab him but he legged it, followed by DH barefoot straight round the corner and into and old ladies back door ! DH knocked and said erm excuse me I think our cat has just come in your house, she said oh he's been here for months, mine died and my son wouldn't let me get another one as if outlive it, so I found this one and started feeding him. He sleeps on my bed and has kippers every day !!

No wonder the bastard didn't come back !!

So he could still come back, but I totally get your daughters need for another companion, and would also be keen to get her another pet.

TooQuickToMoveOn Wed 28-Dec-16 03:35:51

sizeof no, strangely haven't tried the pee thing!! Look, it's worth a go.

tierny did your cat come back to you? Or stay with the kipper lady?
That's what I've discussed with the kids - that the cat may be with a family that needs him more than they do.

tooquicktomoveon Mon 09-Jan-17 08:43:47

Quick update : we got a new kitten and then our missing cat came back, after over 6 weeks away. DH got up with our 3 year old at 5am and the cat was just sitting on the deck.

He is skinny but not emanciated and had lost his miaow and had sunburned ears but otherwise is in pretty reasonable condition. The vet said his paws and claws showed signs of lots and lots of walking over hard surfaces so he must've taken a long time to get home. On the day he went missing there were lots of people visiting our quiet street - tradespeople plus people visiting a rental so he may have jumped (or been put) into the back of a car or truck. He sits by his food bowl constantly, presumably to reassure himself that if he's hungry food will come and he is hyper alert when sleeping, he used to be very snoozy and now finds it hard to settle but is otherwise the same cat.

Unfortunately his older brother doesn't seem to recognise him and is a bit hissy and hostile but hopefully that will settle down when the traveller smells more like himself.

So, we now have 3 cats and 4 kids, which is probably about 2 too many of eachsmile we're all very proud of him for making his way home.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Mon 09-Jan-17 08:45:57

I have five cats.

Three is fine. A good number.

bluetongue Mon 09-Jan-17 09:02:16

Aw, bless him. You must be happy to have him back.

Hope you've been having lots of fun with the new kitten too smile

Madeyemoodysmum Mon 09-Jan-17 10:29:39

Ahh bless him. That's great news

Madeyemoodysmum Mon 09-Jan-17 10:29:58

Pics of kitten please so we can all ahhhhh

Sweetpea302 Mon 09-Jan-17 10:34:20

This update has made me so happy! I'm sure that your family will have hours of fun coming up with ideas of what he got up to while away from you. Adventures and heroic deeds no doubt! Give him a stroke from me!

Eevee77 Mon 09-Jan-17 10:34:22

One month is still really early days for a missing cat tbh so no I wouldn't even be thinking about it yet. I'd give it a year personally. No need at all to jumping into getting another cat so soon.

I'd try phoning the council. While many don't keep a record of cats they've picked up, some do keep breif descriptions ( colour, collar colour etc) if that might help.

Eevee77 Mon 09-Jan-17 10:35:10

Sorry OP didn't see your update there. Hope they all settle together

Daisyfrumps Mon 09-Jan-17 10:38:27

Ah lovely! Glad he's back smile

Is cat-proof fencing for your garden an option?

tooquicktomoveon Mon 09-Jan-17 11:16:17

Eevee you and DH were right, a year was prob a good idea! But it's all worked out well.

We live in a quiet cul-de-sac and I'm pretty sure he went missing after being out the front, I don't think we could cat-proof that. He tended to stay pretty close to home - after he went missing it transpired that our retired neighbour knew the movements of our cats and his cats and they pretty much consistently of moving through to each others' balconies. (He liked the cats, he wasn't anti ours at all and actually got us in touch with the cat pound man).

He doesn't want to go out much at all now, he's probably had enough of the big wide world for a while. I can't believe he survived - it's been crazy hot here with some intense storms, one of which someone died in after being struck with lightning.

Eevee77 Mon 09-Jan-17 11:19:04

Very lucky he made it home then, he must be very happy were he is ☺️

sj257 Mon 09-Jan-17 11:24:03

Ahh I'm glad he's OK, glad you got a new kitten too, you can never have too many cats wink

Too many cats...no such thing! Glad he's back, don't worry about the hissy sibling it's just due to change in scent. They'll settle.

SingingSands Mon 09-Jan-17 11:33:01

Aw, a happy ending, lovely!

We have a young female who used to roam, but since she was knocked down 2 years ago, is now content with a sedate trip around the garden once a week.

What an adventure your boy had, I'm imagining the cat and dog from that Disney movie "Bolt".

Has he returned to his spot on your DD's bed? Kids must have been delighted!

tooquicktomoveon Mon 09-Jan-17 12:06:59

Yes, DD was delighted, she keeps nuzzling him and carrying him around. On the day he was found she was so overwhelmed she just sobbed.

PotatoVegetable Mon 09-Jan-17 12:50:56

Oh how fantastic. A friend of mine once left her at her parents whilst on holiday, and it decided to walk home. Took him weeks across a huge city. I've got two cats and before kids always had at least four. Three is fine.

itsallbollocks Mon 09-Jan-17 13:26:57

Glad that he came home and will be safe now. smile

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