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To expect EXH to sort out his own Xmas present returns\exchanges

(13 Posts)
Pollyanna9 Tue 27-Dec-16 22:08:56

Right now, this second, I have just reached my limit of absorbing XHs pathetic apathetic SHIT useless 'fathering’ - you know how we have to let all this shit go 'for the kids' to 'keep the peace'? I've had enough.

DD had sports brand joggers for Xmas from her dad. They’re really big so she said to him can she return these and he order her a x and x size instead cos were not sure which of the smaller sizes will be right.

There is actually some urgency because she needs them for a school trip where for various reasons the clothing they are going to take has to be inspected at school in a coup!e of weeks.

He knew for over 2 months he might be getting made redundant but made no on the side savings to put aside some cash - just gave me 9 days notice AFTER he'd been made redundant that I'd have no child maintenance for the foreseeable - 3 weeks before Xmas.

His text back to DD: "Sorry can't afford to order these as I've got no money coming in. I'll give you the receipt and you can exchange them for a different size at the X shop".

Meaning he expects ME to take it back on my time at my expense on his behalf using my car and my petrol - why the SHOULD I!!! It's HIS Xmas present, his responsibility.

I have absolutely had it with this excuse of a man.

Might I add that instead of setting funds aside for his children, he's prioritised tiling his conservatory and bought a new sofa for it instead - and now I'm supposed to manage his bloody Christmas present returns as well?!!!

He's got this entitled, cavalier, condescending attitude that really, REALLY, gets up my nose.

Suitable responses?

user1477282676 Wed 28-Dec-16 06:16:14

Text him with her waist size and inside leg...the website will have a size chart. Make him re order one pair...he says he can't afford to order two...so he can exchange the pair he's already paid for surely?

Fartleks Wed 28-Dec-16 06:29:02

Text back 'It's your gift. You exchange them. DD needs them for x date by the way'

dollyollymolly Wed 28-Dec-16 06:33:13

He acts how he wants. You choose how you react.

If you don't want to return them then don't. It's not your responsibility.

WhereDoesThisRoadGo Wed 28-Dec-16 06:34:41

Because, of course, the father of your children being made redundant is all about you and what you will cease to receive from him! hmm

Suitable response: Not acting entitled yourself.

rightsofwomen Wed 28-Dec-16 06:35:12

In afraid your DD will not get what she needs if you leave it to her father.

It really stinks, but do it. I Imagine your DD knows which parent she can rely on.

MagicChicken Wed 28-Dec-16 06:56:55

Can you ask DD to phone him and explain that she needs them urgently so HE must take her to the shops to change them? If he says 'why can't your mum take you?' she can tell him exactly why. Because he is her parent too and it's sod all to do with you.

MagicChicken Wed 28-Dec-16 06:57:35

If he's going to 'give her the receipt' then he plans on seeing her, so he can take her to the shops.

FallenSky Wed 28-Dec-16 07:00:38

Because, of course, the father of your children being made redundant is all about you and what you will cease to receive from him!

He knew for 2 months he might get made redundant. He had time to prepare. Some people get no notice at all, like me, where I went in to work one day to be told I'd lost my job and that was the end of that.

It's not what the op is ceasing to receive from him, it's what his DC are. Why is it the ops problem that he lost his job? He should have saved his money instead of doing his conservatory and bloody well looked for a new job in those 2 months. Just because he's not the RP does not mean he shouldn't have to provide for his DC. Job or no job.

Tell him to sort the exchange out himself. But if it's that important that your DD has these bottoms for a school trip, do you want to risk leaving it to him and her ending up not having any? Back up plan is probably needed in this situation.

allegretto Wed 28-Dec-16 07:11:21

YANBU but it sounds like you'll probably have to do it yourself if you want to guarantee its done in time.

HunterHearstHelmsley Wed 28-Dec-16 07:20:21

How old is DD?

ConvincingLiar Wed 28-Dec-16 07:54:24

Tell him you won't have time to do it. Just make sure there is time he can take dd to the shop to try them on.

rightsofwomen Wed 28-Dec-16 08:37:02

Don't respond to him. Rise above it.
Can your DD go to town herself?

How old is she?

In situations like this I try and swallow the resentment and anger and put the children first.

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