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Wills and dsc

(139 Posts)
RhiannonnDontGo Tue 27-Dec-16 22:00:27

Dh and I have been discussing wills. Dh has a ds 15 and a dd 13. We have a ds together who is almost 2. We own a house which we have invested 50:50 into give or take. He wants to leave the house equally to all three. I want half to go to our
Ds and the other half to be shared between his ds and dd.
Who is right?

dudsville Tue 27-Dec-16 22:02:37

Who is right? You have different priorities. You need to negotiate.

Mouikey Tue 27-Dec-16 22:03:27

That's a tough one - if you are one big family and his children live with you then thirds, but to be honest the 50/50 split seems appropriate too! Neither of you are BU!

GreenTureen Tue 27-Dec-16 22:04:19

Technically the 'fair' way IMO would be for your 50% share to be left to your ds and for dh's 50% share to be split between his three dc. So your ds would get around 66% and the dsc would get around 17% each.

Hypothetically, I wouldn't want my share of a house/money etc to go to any dsc - that's my legacy for my children.

HunterHearstHelmsley Tue 27-Dec-16 22:06:48

I'd give a third each way.

TenaciousOne Tue 27-Dec-16 22:07:47

Technically he is right however if he dies first he can't stop you leaving it how you see fit. I would in his boots leave his half to the older children as you will leave your half to your child.

SanityAssassin Tue 27-Dec-16 22:07:52

The house is the big asset so change your ownership to Tenants In Common and then you can do what the hell you like with your 50% and he doesn't even need to know (until after your dead obs ). Your half is your DC inheritance - his DC will have another from their DM at some point.

FatalKittehCharms Tue 27-Dec-16 22:09:14

Will DSC inherit from their mum too?

LanaorAna1 Tue 27-Dec-16 22:09:49

Have the dsds got their own mother? If yes and she is solvent, your plan's ok.

If you're the only mother they've got, YABU. Do you really want to disinherit them?

HarryPottersMagicWand Tue 27-Dec-16 22:10:01

YANBU. It shouldn't be split 3 ways. Your share should not go to his children. I was going to say that your 50% should go to your DS and your DH's 50% should be split between his 3 children.

My GPs have a similar thing. Nans half gets split between her 5 children, step grandads half gets split between his 2 children. There is an added complication as they have brought up another family member between them and (I think) this family member stands to inherit from both sides but not an even split from step grandads half.

AngryVagina Tue 27-Dec-16 22:11:04

I agree with Green's way being the the "fairest" but I'd settle for 50% to my child and 50% to his...though then he isn't technically leaving anything to his child with you. I don't know, it's a very difficult one. Definitely wouldn't be happy with 1/3 to each child though as then the DSC own more than your DS with him and given that both of your DS's parents own the house and only one of DSC's parents do, that would be unfair.

Apachepony Tue 27-Dec-16 22:12:24

I would have thought greentureen's suggestion is correct so his children would actually be doing quite well to get 25% each as per your suggestion

AmberEars Tue 27-Dec-16 22:12:30

Neither of you is right or wrong - people choose to do this differently. But personally I'm with you.

Zarachristmas Tue 27-Dec-16 22:13:57

Surely it completely depends whether their mum is around and who they live with?

If they are set to inherit from their mother then I'd say half the house should go to your ds.

If say they live with you and their mum wasn't around I'd say you're being totally wrong.

sj257 Tue 27-Dec-16 22:14:10

Difficult. If they would inherit from their mother then 50% for them. If not, split 3 ways.

Zarachristmas Tue 27-Dec-16 22:15:55

Personally I don't know why anyone marries and has children with someone who is already a parent if they feel the way you do.

RhiannonnDontGo Tue 27-Dec-16 22:16:39

They live with their mum and will inherit her house between them (I assume!) but I'm quite happy with 50% to ds and 50% split between dsc.

DinosaursRoar Tue 27-Dec-16 22:17:02

Is this for in the event of you both dying? So you own 50% each, you leave your 50% to who you want and he leaves his 50% to who he wants, assuming he wants to leave to his 3DCs, you have only 1DC (and 2SC), it is reasonable to want to leave yours to your child.

What happens if only one of you dies? Assuming you are leaving to each other - or if he dies, would you find that half your home belongs to your step-children, who might want to release their inheritance money for deposits for their own homes while you still have a school aged DC to house?

Timeforteaplease Tue 27-Dec-16 22:18:06

Your half goes to your DS. His half is split three ways between his children.

EatsShitAndLeaves Tue 27-Dec-16 22:19:27

Difficult one. I'm in the same position.

Much loved DSD and DS.

I totally understand why your DH wants all his children to be treated equitably - as does my DH and myself.

However there is a wider context that can't be gleaned from your post.

Firstly, what might your step children stand to inherit from their mother and maternal grandparents for example?

It's not fair to split your assets equally if they have another source of inheritance imho.

I think it's reasonable to single out "family" items (furniture/jewellery etc) for your child also.

lampshady Tue 27-Dec-16 22:20:16

This kind of situation fills me with dread. Unless I saw the step children as "my own" (loose interpretation) I'd want 50:50 between my child and the step children. They're not yours and unless you wanted to you shouldn't have to provide for them.

thisismeusernameything Tue 27-Dec-16 22:21:51

I would want my half to go to my ds and his half to be split 3 ways.

happychristmasbum Tue 27-Dec-16 22:23:13

50/50 is fair in this scenario.

Agree with PP - you probably need to change to tenants in common so you can will your share to whomever you choose...

Zarachristmas Tue 27-Dec-16 22:23:48

All those saying they'd want half to go to their own ds...

Would you be saying that if let's say, the dsc mother wasn't dead and they lived with you?

Surely that would be beyond cruel and selfish?

AngryVagina Tue 27-Dec-16 22:25:45

Yeah I think having mulled it over, I'd want my half to go to my child and his half split evenly between all of his children.

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