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The more I think about it the angrier I am

(99 Posts)
Hedgehog80 Tue 27-Dec-16 20:30:25

A teacher at dds school has continuously minimised and dismissed her very real and serious health issues. This came to a head before the end of term with phone calls where she accused dd of possibly being "just a school refuser" and needing to "get over the hurdle of mornings" or to use "mind over matter"

Dd has since disclosed that said teacher removed her from the medical room during designated rest breaks(advised by hospital), made dd feel awful by blaming her for her drama groups failures as she was "not there when needed" and because dd wanted to book to see the school counsellor she was told "if you're ill that day you've taken away another's girls chance of receiving counselling"

The icing on the cake has been a malicious ss referral by this woman. Not just to ESW for low attendance due to illness but because she didn't get notification of the most recent diagnosis as quickly as she wanted (we were waiting for the clinic letter but had told her and given specialist details) so referred as had serious concerns. She had also said we hadn't given reasons for absence but I have email proof that I have each time.
Obviously ss have to do their job and the sw seems nice and I'm sure it'll be fine as there are no issues but this teacher.......
She said to me twice spitefully with a smirk "oh...but you're already known to ss.....aren't you ???!"
Well yes because we get direct payments you idiot !

AIBU to formally complain?

Broken11Girl Tue 27-Dec-16 20:38:25

Christ no YANBU, what a twat.

Hedgehog80 Tue 27-Dec-16 20:39:37

I feel like there are 2 issues, 1 that she has been totally unprofessional and malicious and 2 that somewhere a child who actually need ss involvement is shunted further down the pile due to time wasters like this teacher

Hedgehog80 Tue 27-Dec-16 20:40:14

I had already complained to the HT but actually the more I dwell on it the more I think it needs to go further

Wishforsnow Tue 27-Dec-16 20:43:09

You really should formally complain.

missyB1 Tue 27-Dec-16 20:44:03

This is where I think it's a shame that teachers don't have a professional body you could report them to - like Nurses or Doctors.

Did you put your complaint to the HT in writing? Anyway do it again and state that you want an investigation into her behaviour, and that you will be waiting to hear the result.

KnitsBakesAndReads Tue 27-Dec-16 20:45:58

What a disgrace. I would certainly take that further. Your poor DD having to experience that type of bullying when she's already got health problems to overcome.

Hedgehog80 Tue 27-Dec-16 20:46:05

I just had a meeting but I feel the more that comes to light that it needs to be to somebody higher
I had not realised initially that I'd been accused of not emailing in when dd was absent and without fail I had emailed by 830am each time she was off. I have proof.

This woman is head of pastoral care and I'm furious. Am I allowed legally to see the actual referral paperwork so I have it in black and white exactly what her serious concerns were ?

harderandharder2breathe Tue 27-Dec-16 20:46:40

Yanbu she sounds horrible and unprofessional

Is the school big enough that DD can not have contact with her?

Hedgehog80 Tue 27-Dec-16 20:47:55

Sadly not, it's a small school. Everyone else there has been amazingly supportive yet suddenly she's come in all guns blazing and it's awful

gleam Tue 27-Dec-16 20:48:45

Next time you email, copy it to the HT and Head of Year/form teacher as well.

Hedgehog80 Tue 27-Dec-16 20:48:54

Dd said one day all she did was keep saying to her x % that's dreadful x % this is the lowest attendance I've come across and dd was in tears

Hedgehog80 Tue 27-Dec-16 20:50:02

It's the minimising that I hate and she told me it's her decision whether dd is ill enough to be absent! That I should send her in and she will decide. As if

Frazzled50yrold Tue 27-Dec-16 20:50:42

What has the head teacher done about it. Is it time to sit down with both of them and lay out the issues in a comprehensive manner and ask for explanations

DartmoorDoughnut Tue 27-Dec-16 20:51:32

What a bitch! Your poor DD sad def complain/take it higher

Winterfairy Tue 27-Dec-16 20:54:30

I would write down all the minimising statements from the teacher to you and your daughter and put them in front of the head at a one to one. It sounds to me like the teacher is bullying your daughter and there are rules against this. If you have enough evidence I think (not sure you would need to check) that you could threaten police action. I know they come out for child to child bullying.
Maybe that's a bit OTT but may be she needs to be put back in her box.

Hedgehog80 Tue 27-Dec-16 20:55:28

HT was brilliant. Totally on our side and said she would be speaking to the teacher.....but there's nothing we can now do about the ss investigation, we sent them all the medical paperwork etc but they have to follow up with meeting, inspect the house etc etc which I understand they can't be seen to ignore a report citing serious concerns but it's a malicious report and therefore just takes them away from genuinely at risk children

Hedgehog80 Tue 27-Dec-16 20:56:41

I am goi g to try and get a copy of the actual referral word for word and will then put together a case as I don't want this teacher near dd

GTS Tue 27-Dec-16 20:59:22

You are 100% within your rights to see a copy of the SS referral. In fact, I would absolutely insist on it and would also want a very good reason as to why I had not been shown it already...what a cheek!

bumsexatthebingo Tue 27-Dec-16 21:00:16

Definitely complain. And I agree you should blind copy a member of senior staff in on all correspondence.

e1y1 Tue 27-Dec-16 21:01:57


Complain, complain and complain somemore.

Some people should just not be in that profession.

What a cow!

KatherinaMinola Tue 27-Dec-16 21:02:16

Yes, you can see copy of referral paperwork.

Ask what the HT has done about it. Ask for the teacher concerned to be 'removed' from your daughter's case (ie for another pastoral care person to deal with her issues where necessary).

If you are not satisfied with HT actions you can take it to the school governors - and Ofsted if need be.

Hedgehog80 Tue 27-Dec-16 21:02:51

Poor dd has enough to contend with and this has really knocked her confidence. I think for her,the worst bit has been the guilt trips about letting down her drama group or taking a counselling session from another girl sad

Hedgehog80 Tue 27-Dec-16 21:03:30

Also hoping the sw takes a dim view of this as well

Nanna50 Tue 27-Dec-16 21:05:44

You can complain to ofsted and do it sooner rather than later.

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