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To think if you're on xmas holidays...

(48 Posts)
Za1ny Tue 27-Dec-16 18:49:54

You should stay home and spend time with your kids?!!!

My dh (dickhead husband) has fucked off to his mums house for a good three fucking hours won't answer his phone or reply to my texts. This is after he promised that these holidays would be about us (me and dd age 3 and dd 7 months) yeah right he has spent a total of half a day with us so far!!!

I'm fuming. Since the birth of my dd2 I've not had been out by myself fuck that I've hardly been out the house as she's a needy baby and dh refuses to look after her. I was looking forward to him being home so I could finally venture out even if it is just to the city centre and clear my mind a bit but no he's decided to piss off every single day

I'm a sahm currently he commutes to work and the days he finishes early guess where he goes? To his fucking mums house for a cuppa tea!!!!!! He doesn't ever think that I've been home all day dealing with both kids let me go home early for once and even in these hols he's not been spending time with us

And as for my fucking mil the one day he did spend time with us at home she was constantly ringing him telling him to go down!!! FFS CANT U LIVE WITHOUT SEEING YOUR PRECIOUS SON FOR FIVE FUCKIN MINUTES????

I'm just pissed off. But aibu? He thinks because it's his holiday he should be able to relax and he obv can't do that at home because he can't be dealing with the kids

Babyroobs Tue 27-Dec-16 18:55:11

YANBU- It's not unreasonable that he should want to visit his mum over Christmas but I don't understand why you can't all visit together?
You should both have some time to yourselves whilst the other looks after the kids.

Krampus Tue 27-Dec-16 18:55:36

fshock that's awful.

Snowflakes1122 Tue 27-Dec-16 18:57:44

Yanbu. The apron strings are well and truly tied with your DH and his mum.
Why is she so needy? He needs to grow a pair

FixItUpChappie Tue 27-Dec-16 18:58:18

Hmm visiting is fine but hiding at your mums to avoid parenting is not on.

I'd hand him the kids and go out when he gets back

Oldbutstillgotit Tue 27-Dec-16 19:03:11

He refuses to look after his own child ? I would be seriously pissed off and I think you need to have a serious talk with him. YADNBU

BubbleFairy Tue 27-Dec-16 19:09:26

Tomorrow morning get up, dressed, and ready before anyone else. Then say "byeeee, see you in a few hours" and fuck off and leave him to it.

Za1ny Tue 27-Dec-16 19:09:52

He refuses to look after both children! Today I told him that I'm going to go out for a meal with my sister and he can have the kids and he said no! He said take them!! Wtf??!!! I was like wtf what kind of a dad are you and then he said he was joking and to go and take my eldest (so she gets a day out!!!) before anyone asks why I didn't go it's because he had fucked off by the time I came down and is now lying and saying I didn't ask to go out tonight??!!!!!

I don't know what his problem is. i feel so fucking pathetic I just sat on the sofa and had a little cry because I am honestly fed up. He's still not fuckin home so I guess I'll have to put the kids to bed and he can just swan in after fuck knows how many hours and act like everything is ok

Za1ny Tue 27-Dec-16 19:12:32

BubbleFairy haha Think I'll do that!

SheldonsSpot Tue 27-Dec-16 19:13:23

What a shame for your children that they've got such a pathetic turd for a father.

I know it's probably easier said than down but I'd honestly tell him to fuck off and stay with his mum, and file for divorce.

BravoPanda Tue 27-Dec-16 19:13:59

Leave him. This will not get better. He's a lazy bone idle cunt of a 'parent'.

Kids are better off without a parent like that than with one.

donajimena Tue 27-Dec-16 19:14:13

I'm not one to dish out a LTB but its got to be a damn sight easier than this half life you are living now.
My ex was the same with our children and I never got a break so I LTB and I still don't get any help parenting. But the stress he caused has gone and I am so much happier.

Za1ny Tue 27-Dec-16 19:16:12

I have told him many a times to fuck off and stay at his parents house as he loves it there so much but he doesn't. I really want to leave him I just need to get myself a job honestly if money wasn't an issue I would have fucked off a long time ago. I just won't be able to provide for my kids if I go now

Lelloteddy Tue 27-Dec-16 19:17:23

OP you might be better off posting in relationships for advice. Sounds like a really unhappy situation all around, not least for the kids.

FannityAnnity Tue 27-Dec-16 19:18:46

If you were a single parent, he'd have them for contact alternate weekends so you'd be miles better off in that respect.

Much better to do it by yourself and know you've only got yourself to rely on than to have a partner who you should be able to rely on but can't.

Za1ny Tue 27-Dec-16 19:20:00

How do I change this to relationship advice? Sorry I'm new here and this is my first post

PaperdollCartoon Tue 27-Dec-16 19:20:18

YANBU, why can't an adult man look after his own children? Pathetic.

And as for popping round to see his mum every day, utterly ridiculous. I'm not one for LTB either but it doesn't sound like you'd be worse off without someone so unsupportive.

Za1ny Tue 27-Dec-16 19:20:44

Thread even!

PurpleMinionMummy Tue 27-Dec-16 19:21:16

Pack his bags and lock him out, text him and tell him.he's not welcome home until he's prepared to man up. Not like you're going to miss him really is it.

PurpleMinionMummy Tue 27-Dec-16 19:21:39

NOT welcome home that should say!!

girlelephant Tue 27-Dec-16 19:23:11

You may as well be a single parent for all the support he is provides.

He sounds horrid so sending you winecakeflowers

JenniferYellowHat1980 Tue 27-Dec-16 19:24:57

There also seems to be a desire to be the first to post the news and often the RIP statements of grief come from that, I think.

BIgBagofJelly Tue 27-Dec-16 19:25:37

YANBU. If he wants to go to his mum's why not take the kids along too? He sounds like he likes being waited on hand and foot in mummy's nice quiet house while nicely avoiding having to lift a finger with his own kids.

Lelloteddy Tue 27-Dec-16 19:28:17

OP if you report your thread MNHQ may repost it in Relationships for you. Otherwise just copy and paste.

And whatever you do do NOT listen to people telling you to lock him out hmm These people are strangers-some of them thrive on whipping up drama. You have a lot of issues in your marriage. However you chose to move forward needs to be rational and planned.

Za1ny Tue 27-Dec-16 19:30:58

Yes that's exactly it he likes sitting in her quiet house doing fuck all - sometimes he takes dd1 but never the baby because then he has to come home when she starts crying! So he only gets to spend an hour or so there rather than half the bloody day. Also he doesn't take the kids because sometimes he pisses off when he's already out so he might go out to the shop for example and when he doesn't arrive an hour later lo and behold he's there.

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