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AIBU to expect you to keep your distance a bit if you have a very heavy cold?

(28 Posts)
PsammeadPaintedTheLion Tue 27-Dec-16 17:16:40

My sister has a terrible cold. She has just come round to my mum's house (we're staying over Christmas and new year) because she is bored at home. She complained about how terribly ill she is and then she picked up my children and gave them kisses and cuddles. I said, in a friendly tone 'oh please don't kiss them if you are that ill' and now I am in the doghouse.


Not that it matters, but they have both just got over Scarlett fever, which was preceded by a tummy bug, which was preceded by a cold. So I have had it with illnesses, as have they, obviously.

SunsetBeetch Tue 27-Dec-16 17:19:20

YANBU. That would annoy me too!

ButtfaceMiscreant Tue 27-Dec-16 17:20:49

YANBU, I would be pissed off too. I think it is terrible when people moan about being ill and how they feel but don't care if they pass it around.

Fingers crossed your DC don't catch it.

PsammeadPaintedTheLion Tue 27-Dec-16 17:21:33

Thanks, I hope so too.

OutDamnedWind Tue 27-Dec-16 17:22:47

YANBU, I have a stinker of a cold at the moment and have essentially self-quarantined myself with large amounts of chocolate and free reign on the TV remote

TheMortificadosDragon Tue 27-Dec-16 17:22:53

Of course YANBU. What the heck was she thinking? (more likely simply not thinking perhaps?)

Sounds like your DC (and you) have been through quite enough - do hope they don't catch this bug too and you can have a lovely New Year.

PsammeadPaintedTheLion Tue 27-Dec-16 17:25:15

Thanks. She's a nurse too, so should know better!

Get well soon, OutDamnedWind.

mammmamia Tue 27-Dec-16 17:27:09

Yanbu. You don't initiate close contact with people if you are streaming with cold. You keep your distance!

Yoarchie Tue 27-Dec-16 17:27:16

Very bad manners from her.

Olympiathequeen Tue 27-Dec-16 17:37:28

Just wait til she has children then do the same. She'll understand then how thoughtless it is when she has to stay up all night with feverish, coughing snotty kids.


expatinscotland Tue 27-Dec-16 17:44:51


Piehunter Tue 27-Dec-16 17:45:18

Ergh. I have an autoimmune condition and therefore my immune system is busy attacking itself rather than external threats....I catch everything and it takes weeks to get over, but people still don't tell me they have horrendous colds before they come over/I go to them. When I'm ill I keep myself to myself unless someone is aware of the threat and willing to take the risk!

SingaSong12 Tue 27-Dec-16 17:45:43

Yanbu - I'm the same in terms of loneliness and having a cold, different because I said no when my DM suggested a shopping trip.

Footinmouthasusual Tue 27-Dec-16 17:48:08

Totally agree op it's really selfish behaviour.

SnatchedPencil Tue 27-Dec-16 17:49:02

YANBU, it's horrible when someone who has a contagious illness seems to want to spread the misery. Sometimes it is selfishness or spite, sometimes it is just plain stupidity. I do my best to steer clear of these people but if they are in your home you are a little bit stuffed.

Dose up on vitamins C and D, change and wash your clothes asap, use antibacterial wipes on every surface possible, have a hot shower and gargle some water (and spit it out) (in the sink) as often as you can. If she has infected you now there is still time to fight the cold off before it can take a hold.

With your children, it depends how old they are as to whether vitamins are suitable. For an adult you (I, anyway) can ignore the recommended doses when at risk of getting a cold. Take vitamins C & D every hour while you remember.

You can overdose on them but it is very unlikely. If you had a dozen vit D tablets every day for several months it may harm you, short term it is fine. With vitamin C, stick to the traditional tablets not the fizzy ones if you want to take more than one per day because the fizzy ones have a much higher dose. (I got caught out by taking too much vitamin C once, let's just say it acts as a powerful laxative in high doses...). Things like Vick's First Defence spray work sometimes. Again you'd have to check the packet for the suitability of it for your children.

If it sounds like I'm paranoid about getting a cold, I am! It is possible to cut down on the number you get by doing the obvious things like staying away from the infected, washing your hands frequently, not rubbing your eyes or nose. It's worth noting that colds take hold at the back of the throat and nose. Cleaning / clearing these areas (gargling water, nasal sprays to stimulate nose-blowing) as often as possible does help. Sometimes they will slip through though.

But you are right that it is at best idiotic, at worst vindictive and mean to not take simple precautions to avoid passing on a cold.

Good luck in staying healthy.

goshthatseemsalot Tue 27-Dec-16 17:50:05

I have a cold. At family gathering I kept saying "I'll not give you a hug because I have this cold" and because I hate social hugging but I couldn't keep them away! I thought well bollocks then I did warn you but your sister is BU hugging your children with a cold.

Poole5 Tue 27-Dec-16 17:51:18

They won't necessarily catch it though

It's hard to avoid, bugs and colds everywhere when they get back to nursery/school

SunnySideDownUp Tue 27-Dec-16 17:54:42

Some people are such idiots about illnesses. A family member came to visit us and my new baby the day we came out of hospital for an hdu admission for bronchiolitis. Baby wasn't even 4 weeks old, and has a major heart problem (will need open heart surgery between 3-4 months old). She'd only had a very mild cold that had caused the bronchiolitis.

Turns out that family member's daughter had a cold. And after playing (and chewing) on my toddler's toys, it was announced that she'd been sick (vomited) the last few days. My jaw drop.

My mum kindly ushered them out as subtly and quickly as possible, and I then had to deep clean and sterilise everything. I was furious.

JasperPotato Wed 28-Dec-16 14:08:10

YANBU. My PiL have brought the lurgy to our home and I'm now 3 days deep into a shitty cold. I was already not feeling great as I'm 8 weeks pregnant and nauseous all the time. FiL has this way of coughing and gobbing that makes me want to retch. I can't even turn to Lemsip sad

liletsthepink Wed 28-Dec-16 14:19:36

YANBU, I hate people spreading their germs around needlessly. It's different if you have to go to work or for an appointment that can't be cancelled/changed.

For your sister to come over and then kiss your DC is extremely selfish.

Pumpkintopf Wed 28-Dec-16 15:22:56

YANBU -how inconsiderate and selfish.

PsammeadPaintedTheLion Sat 31-Dec-16 18:19:14

My two children are now ill. Dh is too.

I am so fucked off.

Thanks for the advice, and I hope all of you who are poorly feel better soon.

Yoarchie Sat 31-Dec-16 19:20:16

Quite understandable to be really fucked off. It's so miserable and stressful when your kids are ill and galling that your sister was so thoughtless. My dd is ill (not even sure where she got it) and I've had a couple of sleepless nights with her this week.

Blue2014 Sat 31-Dec-16 19:54:51

Some people are twats

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Sat 31-Dec-16 20:06:12

Funny, last time there was a thread like this about playgroups everyone said OP was U and people need to get out of the house and colds are s fact of life. Must be some new year cheer!

I think YANBU Op, but then I wouldn't take my sick kid to playgroup either smile

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