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To think my friend was a little insensitive

(39 Posts)
Catlady1976 Tue 27-Dec-16 13:38:27

And wrong
So a year or so ago I experienced dome changes in bowel habits and I was referred for a colonoscopy. Thankfully all was fine.
Now my friend has had similar symptoms and has also been referred. She did alot of research and decided to forgo the test. All fine.
However she has cited one reason for refusing the test is that the equipment is sterilized using disinfect which is considered carcinogenic.
Aibu to think this is insensitive even if there is any truth in it which I doubt.

MadHattersWineParty Tue 27-Dec-16 13:40:16

Why do you think it's insensitive? Because you had the test?

ShadowMane Tue 27-Dec-16 13:40:35

Why is it insensitive?

BIgBagofJelly Tue 27-Dec-16 13:41:16

I think it depends how she said it and how it came up. If you were discussing it and you asked or it naturally came up for her to justify why she wasn't getting it done then it seem fair enough. If she deliberately approached you with her "research" that it was carcinogenic than that does seem a bit insensitive.

P.S. doesn't sound like you actually have much to worry about so hopefully you're not stressed out about it.

BusterGonad Tue 27-Dec-16 13:41:51

I'm not sure what the problem is? You had one, she hasn't, who's the one that knows they are healthy?

Bloodybloodyheckers Tue 27-Dec-16 13:42:06

It's not insensitive sorry.

It is fairly thick to worry about something that is probably wrong Vs ignoring an issue that could kill her if that makes you feel better?

SnatchedPencil Tue 27-Dec-16 13:42:12

No, on the evidence you've given she's not being "insensitive" - she's just telling you why she has chosen not to have the test.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Tue 27-Dec-16 13:42:44

W/o extensive elaboration, YABU.

ShowMePotatoSalad Tue 27-Dec-16 13:42:51

For goodness sakes. I'm sorry OP but what is the point in taking offence over something like that? She doesn't want to have the test for her own reasons - they may be hocus pocus reasons but they are her reasons. It's nothing to do with you so I don't understand how you could find it insensitive to you?

JustSpeakSense Tue 27-Dec-16 13:43:22

YABU

Nocabbageinmyeye Tue 27-Dec-16 13:44:28

More a case of you being too sensitive I think op, sorry

PNGirl Tue 27-Dec-16 13:45:59

It would only be insensitive if she implied you got it done blindly and unwisely, in an "If you'd bothered to research you'd know this" way.

Catlady1976 Tue 27-Dec-16 13:47:39

OK maybe I am just oversensitive. It was just that she knew I had had the test and I felt it odd to say I couldn't possibly have it as they use disinfectant which is carcinogenic so if I got cancer I would wonder if the colonoscopy caused it.
Saying that to someone who had had said test felt insensitive.

harderandharder2breathe Tue 27-Dec-16 13:48:13

You are being over sensitive

I'm sure the medical team weigh up the risks and benefits before offering such procedures

Catlady1976 Tue 27-Dec-16 13:50:18

I told her about the test to help her as she was anxious. It was left at that. On other occasion she said she was feeling better and had decided not to have test. I was perfectly fine with thus. I did not seek any reasons why?

BusterGonad Tue 27-Dec-16 13:50:20

The procedure looks for cancer, so if she's not having it due to worrying about the disinfectant then I'm sorry but she's the fool! I've had one and I'm bloody glad I did, my only worry was the risk of bowel perforation!

PigletWasPoohsFriend Tue 27-Dec-16 13:51:03

You are being waaayyy over sensitive OP.

I know of people that haven't had tests that I have. They made their choice as I made mine

Catlady1976 Tue 27-Dec-16 13:53:52

I am not worried at the moment as I know my symptoms are not caused by anything sinister.

Crumbs1 Tue 27-Dec-16 13:55:20

You are being ridiculous.
Your friend is wrong ntp.niehs.nih.gov/ntp/htdocs/lt_rpts/tr490.pdf
There is no evidence to suggest the sterilising fluids are carcinogen

lljkk Tue 27-Dec-16 13:58:56

It sounds very English, don't tell someone something because they might worry about it. otoh, if you did get cancer, you might be more settled to have an explanation why.

britbat23 Tue 27-Dec-16 14:01:26

Your friend is an idiot.

Catlady1976 Tue 27-Dec-16 14:07:21

Tbh I didn't believe it to be true. I guess we have different personalities. She is far more forthright and has strong opinions on certain things is is quite happy to share those opinions. She has also given me lots of reasons why my dds shouldn't have hpv vaccine.
Well clearly IABU as I am oversensitive.

KnittedBlanketHoles Tue 27-Dec-16 14:13:46

otoh, if you did get cancer, you might be more settled to have an explanation why.

If the OP's friend had an attitude like this then it isn't insensitive but it is pretty stupid and rude to suggest that it would be the OP's 'fault' if she got cancer, because she'd had tests (which wouldn't cause cancer).

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Tue 27-Dec-16 14:17:28

If it were my friend, I would urge her to take her doctor's advice and have further testing. It is foolish to not follow a medically trained professional's advice. A doctor would not refer her for further tests unless he thought it necessary.

I'm not sure where you friend has done her "extensive research". There is a hell of a lot of bullshit online quite frankly.

The procedure you are talking about has been trialed and tested and would not be available if it "caused cancer." Far more research has gone into it than your friend's 'research'. confused

Ironically, the test is to rule out cancer and could save her life or save her from having part of her bowel removed and a colostomy bag for life.
Please try to persuade her to take her doctor's advice. Just because you had a negative result with similar symptoms, doesn't mean she is in the clear.

UnicornInDMboots Tue 27-Dec-16 14:19:55

Oh just ignore her

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