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To be annoyed about regifting?

(36 Posts)
Coalandcarrots Mon 26-Dec-16 20:41:41

I strongly suspect my daughter was given a gift today by her aunt and uncle which was given to their daughter by our parents in October.

Brother and sil chose the gift which parents then bought while on holiday.

I bought a thoughtful gift for their daughter, but now feel that they don't care enough to do the same.

AIBU?

RebelRogue Mon 26-Dec-16 20:46:00

Does your daughter like your gift?

cheeseandcrackers Mon 26-Dec-16 20:50:15

Are you sure it's not that their daughter enjoyed the gift so much that they bought your daughter the same? Or they asked your parents to buy two of them when on holiday?

Coalandcarrots Mon 26-Dec-16 20:52:42

Does she like her gift? She is only 1 so hard to tell.

It's that they have given my dd something unwanted / not good enough for their dd that I find difficult.

Coalandcarrots Mon 26-Dec-16 20:54:28

When we were on holiday we also chose a (different) gift for our dd who is a little older, and we were explicit that the other gift was a bit young for our dd.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Mon 26-Dec-16 20:54:51

Why don't you just cut down on the gift giving and agree to just buy for your own children next year - I'm sure both of your children get plenty anyway

anyoldname76 Mon 26-Dec-16 20:55:15

i really dont see the problem with regifting, everyone has different tastes, they may have already had one of the same

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Mon 26-Dec-16 20:55:23

Either they loved the gift so much that they bought another, or their daughter wasn't keen on it/ already had one so they regifted

Careless of them to give it to someone who would know it was a regift!

I have to say though that this wouldn't upset me as long as the gift was something appropriate - eg not something she Clearly wouldn't like or the wrong age range

Some people place lots of importance on choosing nice gifts as a way to show they care. For others gifts are pretty meaningless in terms of how much you care for that person

Ameliablue Mon 26-Dec-16 20:56:15

I'm confused did they choose the gift for their child themselves? How do you know it was the same one and are your children the same age?

arethereanyleftatall Mon 26-Dec-16 20:56:47

Don't worry about it.

RichardBucket Mon 26-Dec-16 20:57:25

YABU

She's 1. She doesn't care. Better it goes somewhere it might be used than get chucked in a bin.

Anyway, you don't even know if it is a regift!

VeryBitchyRestingFace Mon 26-Dec-16 20:58:52

I think it's more likely they thought their daughter's present was so amazeballs they bought an identikit one for your baby.

Okay, so it's not terribly imaginative but this is a 1 year old you're talking about.

RebelRogue Mon 26-Dec-16 21:01:02

Why? If someone does get to enjoy it and play with it(especially in the same family) then it's all good. If it's suitable age for your dd and she'll enjoy it then it's all good.
Or maybe their kid enjoyed hers so much,they thought it would be a good idea for yours as well.
Or maybe they already had one.
Or maybe their kid didn't even look at it.
It doesn't really matter as long as it's age appropriate and your dd will have fun with it.

Coalandcarrots Mon 26-Dec-16 21:01:25

They chose it themselves.

I haven't seen it at their house.

They opened another gift today that they were going to keep for regifting.

So I don't know for certain it's a regift, but if it is, then it feels unequal that I went out and chose something especially for their dd and they just gave mine something they didn't want.

They are within a year of each other.

twattymctwatterson Mon 26-Dec-16 21:01:27

How young could the gift be for a 1 year old?

RichardBucket Mon 26-Dec-16 21:03:01

So I don't know for certain it's a regift, but if it is, then it feels unequal that I went out and chose something especially for their dd and they just gave mine something they didn't want.

Don't give presents if it's a tit-for-tat thing. I can't stand that kind of point scoring attitude.

witsender Mon 26-Dec-16 21:05:45

Regifting is just logical. If something doesn't suit you but would suit someone else why not pass it on? I agree that doing so when the other person might know has the potential to cause offence, but it really shouldn't. A gift doesn't have to involve spending money to still be a gift. And at 1, there is very little that will be too young for her, and she won't care anyway.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Mon 26-Dec-16 21:05:45

Another option would be to just leave your dh to buy for his side of the family.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Mon 26-Dec-16 21:08:20

So I don't know for certain it's a regift, but if it is, then it feels unequal that I went out and chose something especially for their dd and they just gave mine something they didn't want.

Well, don't put any effort/thought into a present for their kid in future then. Simples.

A very young child won't care about the amount of time/effort/thought that went into buying their present.

Coalandcarrots Mon 26-Dec-16 21:09:26

My brother.

user1477282676 Mon 26-Dec-16 21:12:37

Another asking how any gift could be "a bit young" for a one year old.

user1477282676 Mon 26-Dec-16 21:12:48

Unless it's a rattle?

Coalandcarrots Mon 26-Dec-16 21:15:58

DD is a one year old closer to being 2. There are lots of things it could be but being any more explicit would be identifying.

RebelRogue Mon 26-Dec-16 21:17:52

Dd is nearly 5 and she still loves "baby toys"

IllMetByMoonlight Mon 26-Dec-16 21:19:40

I love the idea of regifting. Not that I ever have anything to regift, we're not big on presents between adults here. I think it is really sensible, logical even, as suggested upthread. But then I secretly wish it was more widely acceptable to buy gifts second hand too. My kids' gifts this Christmas, and they did very well for themselves, cost a pittance, and were almost exclusively second hand items, right down to a bumper bottle of hama beads. They don't mind, they're 3 and 6.

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