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Not AIBU but need help re bottle feeding

(41 Posts)
FKat2016 Mon 26-Dec-16 19:01:27

My new born is having difficulty latching after a couple of days on bottles as I have been away due to health reasons, I have tried to go back to the bottle and now he's refusing that sad it's just occurred to me I may be holding the bottle incorrectly?? He has terrible colic and I don't want to make it worse by feeding him incorrectly with the bottle.

He is now very overdue his feed and I'm really stressing out, somebody please help sad

Trying to attach picture of bottle- should the slant face up or down?

SVJAA Mon 26-Dec-16 19:02:56

The flat bit should be against his tongue. Hope you're ok, it's tough going eh?

misscarlar Mon 26-Dec-16 19:03:59

Flat slant facing down

FKat2016 Mon 26-Dec-16 19:05:56

So the slant facing his tongue you mean? Sorry, I'm totally frazzled and very emotional, I can't seem to get anything right

PoliticalBiscuit Mon 26-Dec-16 19:06:11

Oh love very stressful flowers

At some point they get so distressed it doesn't matter what they're offered . It sounds awful but if they get very worked up they will eventually tire themselves and be more receptive to feeding afterwards.

Big hugs.

FKat2016 Mon 26-Dec-16 19:06:25

Oh thank you, I didn't see that post.

Thank you very much x

PoliticalBiscuit Mon 26-Dec-16 19:06:33

Slant facing tongue

FKat2016 Mon 26-Dec-16 19:11:29

I don't want to starve him, he's just days old and brings up so much of what he eats anyway, it's hard to know how much is actually reaching him. I'm heartbroken that he won't latch but now scared to ever try again in case it causes the same problem again, I don't want to confuse him but I desperately want the contact with him again especially after being away, I'm really struggling with everything so far and maintaining the breast feeding bond might help me stop me feeling like a total failure sad

isthistoonosy Mon 26-Dec-16 19:12:05

And make sure the test is filled with milk all the time during the feed to avoid him swallowing air.
flowers

SVJAA Mon 26-Dec-16 19:12:22

You're not a failure, I promise you you're not a failure. It's hard going with a wee one who can't/won't feed. Be kind to yourself OP.

isthistoonosy Mon 26-Dec-16 19:14:30

Could.you.try.mix.feeding so.bf and then top.up with a soon or cup to.avoid test confusion. It was suggested to.me.with my first but I didn't try.it so dont know how it really works. Or try calling LLL for some advice

fruitpastille Mon 26-Dec-16 19:16:14

His stomach is very small, he will be getting what he needs. Lots of babies are a bit sicky - have a muslin handy and try to get wind up after the feed by getting him a bit upright and patting/rubbing back. Do you want to relatch on to your boob? It is probably possible with some support if you want to.

tiktok Mon 26-Dec-16 19:16:16

It's horrible and distressing to be all confuddled with a newborn sad

But you have a right to midwifery care. You can call and ask for a visit to help with feeding - breast or bottle or both.

Internet forums are great but you need one to one personal care as well. You are entitled to it and feeding happily is essential care!!

fruitpastille Mon 26-Dec-16 19:17:46

And you can still have nice skin to skin cuddles when bottle feeding. You are not a failure you are doing your best!

FuckingSausageFingers Mon 26-Dec-16 19:17:47

You are absolutely not a failure. It can be fucking hard work. If you haven't already tried them, have a go with nipple shields. I gave them a bash after bf support woman suggested trying them (had significant latch issues) and ended up on them for 5 months. Still bf 13 months down the line now but those early days were so tough xx

toomuchtooold Mon 26-Dec-16 19:19:38

Oh no, don't feel like a failure. This stuff isn't easy, even without health problems of your own and a colicky baby. Whatever you decide to do he will be fine.

My DD2 was a champion puker and a terrible feeder - I went straight to bottles for reasons but even with the bottle she was slow and half the time she would puke half of it straight back up. You can only do what you can do, frustrating as it is, it gets better after the first few weeks. DD is 4 now and still really skinny and birdlike, so maybe it's just their appetite, I don't know.

Kpo58 Mon 26-Dec-16 19:21:08

see if there are any NCT breastfeeding groups in your area. They will try many different ways to try and help the latch in a relaxed and comfortable environment.

I would see the doctor if he keeps bringing up what you fed him. My DD used to to the same. It's really frustrating, but also really common.

Newborns are the biggest pains in the backsides to feed. My DD wouldn't latch. It used to take 40 mins to get the bottle in her mouth, another 40 mins to feed, then 20 mins trying to settle her. Once I had expressed and sterilises everything, it was almost time to feed her again. It does get better though.

Whatsername17 Mon 26-Dec-16 19:21:11

You are not failing. If you want to persevere with bottle feeding do so confident in the knowledge that you are a loving mum feeding her baby. Look at his face and into his eyes as you feed. You can still build up that bond. Try wiggling the bottle gently in his mouth if she starts to refuse. It's early days, all very scary but it will get easier I promise. flowers

sj257 Mon 26-Dec-16 19:21:50

That's a funny teat, I'd keep persevering tonight but could someone go out and get you some different bottles tomorrow?

toomuchtooold Mon 26-Dec-16 19:22:26

Oh one thing if you are sticking with bottles - DD I think we put her onto the faster flow teat, the one up from newborn quite early - 2 or 3 weeks - and it seemed to help that she didn't need to suck so hard. It might be something, if you have some faster flow ones?

Daisyfrumps Mon 26-Dec-16 19:23:16

Have you got a bath? Can you get to someone's house with a bath? Try this, ideally with someone to help you:-

1. Have someone run you a warm bath in a warm room - low lighting, maybe calm music

2. Get in with baby (both naked)

3. Spend some time floating him around and skin to skin - this often 'reboots' their feeding cues

4. Repeat as often as you want to. Also skin to skin time in bed together is hugely beneficial

Guidance here: diaryofafirstchild.com/2010/11/02/rebirthing-for-emotional-healing-and-breastfeeding-success/

Anotherdayanotherdollar Mon 26-Dec-16 19:24:03

Generally it's the slanted part towards the tongue. So that the top part of the teat reaches further back in the babies mouth against the palate, as a nipple would do if bf. However, some babies do actually feed better with the teat the other way around.

Daisyfrumps Mon 26-Dec-16 19:26:13

A few days old baby's stomach is the size of a walnut - any more than that will be brought up again. He'll feed little and often x

Daisyfrumps Mon 26-Dec-16 19:28:58

Pic

Namejustfornappies Mon 26-Dec-16 19:29:04

I don't know anything about bottles, but if you want to calm a newborn the best way is naked- naked snuggles in the dark.
If you want to try breastfeeding again the best time is to try for a sleepy feed when they are all relaxed. And skin to skin. When you are more confident they often latch better when they've worked themselves into a state if you are holding them and pacing the room at the same time. No idea why!

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