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AIBU?

AIBU to think my mum is too enthusiastic about becoming a grandparent?

52 replies

olivegroon · 26/12/2016 13:59

I'm not even pregnant. Only just announced I'm in a relationship. She is using a 'default' name for this future baby, etc.

It's seriously getting on my nerves. If we go anywhere "I'll have to bring GC here, that would be nice for GC", etc.

Can someone please tell me it's not that odd? I love my mum and really don't want her to be more extreme about it and hope it's normal. It's not though, is it?

OP posts:

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Gymnopedies · 26/12/2016 14:02

Ahah, she must love babies. YANBU though (secretly think I'll be the same as your mum but won't say it out loud to the DCs).

PNGirl · 26/12/2016 14:02

I don't think it is normal. It's a lot of pressure. Even if you want a baby one day what if you struggle to conceive?

Does she have much else to occupy her time?

Rioja123 · 26/12/2016 14:04

This is so weird and would drive me mad too.

KurriKurri · 26/12/2016 14:05

Sorry I think it's a bit odd.

My DS and DDIL have been in a relationship for 8 yrs married for 2 and I would never and have never mentioned grandchildren.
Obviously I would love GC, but it would be incredibly presumptious of me to assume they even want children let alone when they may have them, what said children would be called etc. It is so not my business.

Has she always got this OTT when you've had relationships?

UpsyDaisyluvsIgglePiggle · 26/12/2016 14:06

Are you my sil?? My mum was only last night going on and on about my sil having a baby. She's not even pregnant and they're not trying they said yet. Poor sil she looked so embarrassed. I told her to wait until she's ready.

My mum as soon as I was pregnant referred to baby as gracie-lou all way through pregnancy. I told her we're not calling her that, didnt even know she was a girl yet, but she insisted she would be called it. She's now 18 months and not a gracie-lou.

RebootYourEngine · 26/12/2016 14:08

That is not normal behaviour.

olivegroon · 26/12/2016 14:08

Thank goodness she's not the only one though! She used to do it before I was in a relationship... as soon as I hit 16! She is just even worse now!

OP posts:

buttercup54321 · 26/12/2016 14:11

Not odd at all. I know several people who do this lol

MrsMozart · 26/12/2016 14:16

I think that as a parent of an adult then one's mind automatically starts to think that way.

I mentioned earlier, to may late teens and early twenties DDs that I can't wait to be a granny - to spoil them [grandchildren] rotten then hand them back. I can't remember how the conversation came up, but one rolled her eyes and the other one said Not for a few years yet Mum! Okay says I and I shut up, with my quiet thoughts of what it might be like, whilst trying to keep a sane and balanced approach that they might not have any / want any / etc.

olivegroon · 26/12/2016 14:19

I was 16 when it started

OP posts:

MeadowHay · 26/12/2016 14:30

She is BVU! That is really weird .

Spadequeen · 26/12/2016 14:34

You need to tell her to stop

ImNotWhoYouThinkIAmOhNo · 26/12/2016 14:34

It may be more normal than I think it should be (judging by other responses on this thread) but that doesn't make it right. She can think her own thoughts but she should be keeping them to herself.

WellKnackered · 26/12/2016 14:35

How annoying. I'd tell her that I would like her to stop. I'd make sure she knew I was serious.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/12/2016 14:35

Agree with Spadequeen; "Mum, please stop it now, it's getting on my nerves".

Fluffycloudland77 · 26/12/2016 14:36

Mil announced she wanted a dgd when we were visiting fil in hospital. She knows we can't have kids so heaven knows where I'm going to procure a DD from.

Cherrysoup · 26/12/2016 14:40

She's being vu and is likely to frighten any dp away! Do you even want dcs?

alotlikeChristmas16 · 26/12/2016 14:40

I used to hate this, but I checked this thread for tips on what to avoid to not become this mum! Did your mum want another baby but get too old? I can imagine clucking over babies in a few years, when I got this sort of thing from MIL when I was older I suggested she volunteered with children although she said it was about having specific ones she was related to. Yes, of course it's a bit odd but can you blame a mum for hoping at Christmas? Ideally she should have a bit more game though :)

alotlikeChristmas16 · 26/12/2016 14:42

Tell her she's scaring your part ear off, that'll stop it!

alotlikeChristmas16 · 26/12/2016 14:43

partner not part ear

OccasionalNachos · 26/12/2016 14:46

That's a lot of pressure & must be quite difficult for you. I would hate it if my DM did this. Am worried that as a previous poster said, this is a normal assumption for a parent of adults. I'm 31 & have been married since 25. No DC through choice. Not sure if I want them, aware I'm starting to run out of time to delay it, worried that my DParents are bottling up these kinds of feelings

SquinkiesRule · 26/12/2016 14:50

My grown sons finally are both dating, I plan weddings in my head that will not be mine to plan. I won't say a word, but I'll plan in hope anyway

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derxa · 26/12/2016 14:55

My DM was not enthusiastic at all. I think you're lucky.

5moreminutes · 26/12/2016 14:55

Incredibly annoying and unfair of her - puts pressure on you whether she means it to or not and whether you want kids or not. Likely to make you wary of telling her if you do get pregnant just in case she makes it all about her (and makes the fear of anything going wrong during pregnancy ten times worse because you have her feelings to consider almost before yours and the baby's father's etc).

It isn't unique - I had a friend at uni who's mum was always telling her not to worry if she got pregnant as she (friends' mum) would be happy to bring any grandchild up til friend graduated and got settled in a job well meant presumably but massively jumping the gun, and embarrassing for my friend - the mum said it to my friend in front of me the first and only time I met the mum, luckily my friend had told me about her obsession so my jaw didn't hit the floor...

Tell her OP.

It was bad enough when I actually was pregnant and my mum bought up thousands of pounds worth of baby equipment to keep at her house 6 hours drive from where we lived... Presumably on the assumption I / the baby would be spending my maternity leave at hers, 6 hours from DH... Despite the fact I hadn't visited for longer than a weekend in the preceding decade as we only get on in small doses!

alotlikeChristmas16 · 26/12/2016 14:57

nachos I'm sure your p would want you to do what you need to, figure that out first and don't worry about their reaction because that's a secondary issue. I would love gc one day but I really wouldn't want my dc to have them if they weren't sure, I'm sure no rational person would.

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