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AIBU?

to be really sad that I don't feel I can post on MN any more for fear of it Daily Failing?

36 replies

likewhatevs · 26/12/2016 12:56

Just that really. I know that mn are unable to stop conversations being pilfered because this is a public forum. I have been a member of mumsnet for a decade (my DS1 is nearly 10 now) under various usernames.
It has, and remains to be, a great source of advice, information, amusement and often enlightenment. But its no longer a refuge. I can still post and comment about 'lighthearted' stuff but the big stuff - the lifechanging stuff that I really want an impartial opinion on - I dont feel able to post that any more.
I want to vent, rant, whatever, but it just can't happen in case its 'seen'. No namechange would hide my specific situation. It does make me sad :(

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VeryBitchyRestingFace · 26/12/2016 13:00

I think it's sad. I don't care about all the but you KNOW this is a public forum and ANYONE could read your posts nothing is private ya da da da da arguments.

It still sucks.

I suspect the deluge upsurge in entire threads being removed on 'privacy' grounds is at least in part caused by genuine fears of ending up as tabloid fodder.

Xmas Angry

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MrsJayy · 26/12/2016 13:03

It is very fustrating isn't it ? I think if mumsnet wanted to they could stop the lifting of threads for special interest stories but they choose not to, you could post in off the beaten track part of mumsnet or 30 days only then it vanishes I think its awful you think you can't post for support or advice Flowers

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MrsJayy · 26/12/2016 13:09

Its not just that paper magazine programmes use thread titles and threads to discuss womens issues as entertainment.

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HolidaySpiritsReinbeerAndWhine · 26/12/2016 13:16

The whole 'you know it's a public forum' argument is a bit shit. MN is quite niche in its users, people that post here are usually quite sure that they won't be 'figured out'. However, once you put it in one of the most read newspapers in the U.K., the chances of someone recognising your 'story' multiplies significantly.

I always try and keep vague or change bits about myself regardless, but sometimes things slip that do make you 'stand out', people shouldn't have to worry that's going to pop up in a bloody newspaper when you're only trying to be supportive/giving advice to someone you assume is in need of it.

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DollyPlastic · 26/12/2016 13:18

I never share anything on here anymore.

Just bland chitchat from me now. I've been on here years too. Very sad.

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KathArtic · 26/12/2016 13:22

This pisses me off. Every thread has this will be in the DM or are you a journslist. STOP OBSESSING.

Some posters are like excited children, too obessed with the DM. They would secretly love to have their posts lifted. Oooo, the kudos.

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WhiskyAndTwiglets · 26/12/2016 13:24

Yup, ditto. I have been a member since 2002. I don't want my stories in the DM ever!

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birdybirdywoofwoof · 26/12/2016 13:26

It sucks.

The other day, in a comment I wrote something and a second later, thought, arghh 'that's daily mail fodder, that is' so I asked for it to be deleted.

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RoseGoldHippie · 26/12/2016 13:27

YANBU I'm depressed that skulking around an online forum (and probably inputting to make the conversation go in a certain way sometimes) is the best some journalists can come up with tbh

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Liiinoo · 26/12/2016 13:30

I always try and change/add irrelevant details in the hope it will keep things anonymous.

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Jigglealltheway · 26/12/2016 13:31

Obviously MN is in agreement with Daily Mail. After all it's free publicity in a major newspaper on a frequent basis. How many websites get this kind of free exposure? I think it's now the reality of this site. Free publicity = extra site traffic and more paid advertisers. It's a cash bonanza fo MN.

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chitofftheshovel · 26/12/2016 13:34

Was just going to write the same thing jiggle - follow the money.

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ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam · 26/12/2016 13:41

I don't care, they don't know me.

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likewhatevs · 26/12/2016 13:43

Jiggle yes - its the reality of a lot of things these days. Its all about the reality, the publicity, the money. And I understand that I really do. There are a lot of really great aspects to everything that might come under the banner 'social media' which of course includes forums.
Its just... well its just what I said in the first place. It started as one thing, and inevitably really its ended up as this. Second guessing what you write all the time. Not being able to post what you really want to because what felt like privacy in a sea of strangers before is no longer as private as it once was. I/We have lost an outlet and its such a great pity.

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Sparklingbrook · 26/12/2016 13:46

Don't want it in the DM? Don't post it. But TBF MN isn't and never has been a private safe place. Post Jeffery especially, best not to post it.

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ilovesooty · 26/12/2016 13:48

I can't say it bothers me either. I wouldn't share anything on an Internet forum that I'd be bothered about getting out.

I don't see why the public forum argument is a bit shit either. It's the way things are in this day and age. And I honestly believe that some of the posters wanting impartial advice on life changing stuff would be better off seeking it professionally. Most advice on here is heavily coloured by people's own personal experience and is anything but impartial.

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Davros · 26/12/2016 13:49

I totally sympathise but they could lift every post I've ever written in the last 13+ years in MN and I'd never know Xmas Grin

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Namechangebitch · 26/12/2016 13:53

I have few 'juicy' work issue I would love impartial opinion on. I work in education and everyone around me has a similar mindset. The particular area I work in, you wouldn't choose if you weren't a bleedin' heart liberal.

So I would really value a wider perspective. No way would I ask now. Even disguised and name changed I can't risk it. It's a shame as other opinions might really help.

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ilovesooty · 26/12/2016 13:59

Name that's one of the things I wouldn't consider doing. I don't think it's ever worth risking doing that on the internet.

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RoseGoldHippie · 26/12/2016 14:03

Out of interest I just googled my username and have found one of my forums has sparked a report in the Sun!

It was a jokey one about a toy haha feel a bit famous LOL!

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Namechangebitch · 26/12/2016 14:27

I don't think I could be identified but I would hate the 'issue' to become tabloid fodder. You know " All teachers hate #######" when really you are just thinking around an issue. Trying on different hats to see if another approach will work. You can to this on your own but MN has helped in the past.
No more.

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redexpat · 26/12/2016 14:46

I wonder if DM journalists worry about their articles being linked to and discussed on mn Wink

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WorraLiberty · 26/12/2016 14:54

I think this whole DM thing has been blown out of proportion really.

As far as I know, they only report on Mumsnet stories in their online edition and even then, I don't think it's in the 'main news' bit is it?

So if you have a friend or relative who recognises you from a thread you've posted, they're probably just as likely to be a Mumsnetter and have read it here/MN's Facebook page/MN's Twitter account anyway.

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Sparklingbrook · 26/12/2016 14:58

Totally agree Worra.

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HolidaySpiritsReinbeerAndWhine · 26/12/2016 15:12

Worra, you're not totally wrong. It's not exactly front page news. However, I remember a few weeks back a poster asked advice about their (potentially abusive) husband, it was about them having two cars, him taking hers, then starting a potentially dangerous argument with her in the middle of the road later in the day. They pinched that story, the husband sounded unhinged enough without him happening across his behaviour being broadcast to the world in a newspaper. It may be a lot of 'ifs and buts', however it could only take one instance of a personal story getting out and it affecting the poster in real life. All because the poster wanted someone to talk to and is possibly unable to in their own social lives.

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