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To expect a thank you for Christmas presents?

(15 Posts)
YouHadMeAtCake Mon 26-Dec-16 12:34:33

We don't live in our home country, we live very far away. We always send Christmas gifts , nice and well thought out gifts, to friends and family. Some don't even send us a Christmas card. The least I expect is a thank you. Asked family member if other family members have received their gift as they dropped them off, yes they have. Not even had a text to say thank you. I wasn't even going to send to certain people this year because of it but DH said to send. We always thank people for gifts. It's just plain rude isn't it?

GinAndOnIt Mon 26-Dec-16 12:36:35

Ive only said thank you to one person so far, it's only the day after! I prefer to thank in person or at the very least, with a card/letter.

clumsyduck Mon 26-Dec-16 12:37:45

Are you close to the people who you send presents to just that you say some don't even send a card ? Do you speak with these people much? If not I'd prob knock that on the head !
And yes people who can't even message over a Thankyou are been incredibly rude ! I always take time out even in the chaos of Christmas Day and make sure I have thanked everyone who have sent dc pressys

YouHadMeAtCake Mon 26-Dec-16 12:49:56

Gin they never send cards and letters, we will not see them in person.

duck direct 'close' family , in laws. We usually Skype or FaceTime. It's just a couple of people ,the rest are fine . A quick message is all I expected,the culprits are all over social media with photos of their gifts but no time to send a message to say thank you. One that bothers me most was a really nice and fairly pricey gift. I want to knock it on the head but DH says he would feel bad. Just makes me feel sad and unappreciated .

FinallyHere Mon 26-Dec-16 13:35:43

Does your DH , who would feel guilty if the presents were not sent, spend the time and trouble to choose and send the gifts? I have a DH who used to think I was overreacting, when I complained (to him) about not hearing that gifts had arrived safely. The first year he did all the work to make it happen, he suddenly expected an acknowledgement.

Result, we now only send to the children of the close family.

allowlsthinkalot Mon 26-Dec-16 14:01:08

YANBU but YABU to expect a thank you just yet. It's Boxing Day. Most people are enjoying Christmas and thank yous will come later.

MeadowHay Mon 26-Dec-16 14:05:17

No YANBU and I feel the same although we don't live abroad like you guys so there's even less of an excuse for our family who don't even bother texting thank you or anything. It's difficult to know what to do because I'm like your DH and I feel bad if I don't get people presents and cards. We have the same thing for birthdays too of the same family members on DH's side. His brother didn't even get him a birthday card this year, but passed on a card from their grandad when they met in person not long after, with no shame whatsoever! And we don't live in the same city and always send birthday cards and presents to him and his partner etc. But I just don't feel like we can stop because I would feel bad...it's a difficult and upsetting situation, I know how you feel and don't have an answer really.

HecAteAllTheXmasPud Mon 26-Dec-16 14:07:58

I really think you should leave it to your husband in future.
He wants to do it. He would feel bad.
So why are you the muppet carrying out orders from on high?

Tell him any gifts he wants to send - he buys and sends because you're done trying.

HecAteAllTheXmasPud Mon 26-Dec-16 14:10:23

Oh. But if i have unfairly judged him and he is the one who goes and buys the gifts, wraps them and posts them then just mentally remove yourself from it and see it as his choice and don't involve yourself.

BillyShingles Mon 26-Dec-16 14:40:16

If you are sending gifts to people who don't even send you a card or any acknowledgement of gifts then I think it's time to stop. It gets embarrassing if it's that one sided year in, year out. If they wanted you to keep sending gifts then they'd acknowledge your existence. It's happened to us too and it's very hurtful.

However I think it's early to complain specifically about lack of thank yous, especially if they normally do written letters, which can take ages in this house several days. I've never come across an expectation of a texted thank you within 24h on top of a letter in slower time.

piddleypower Mon 26-Dec-16 21:49:17

YANBU. I buy for my DB's 4 children and never get a thank you. I did raise this with him once and he acted like it was the children's responsibility to do it but they hadn't done so (they were all under 8). My solution now is to only send a £10 voucher each. Thereby I am still sending a gift but I am not expending my effort and time on something not appreciated. I also write who it is from in big letters on the front! It still irks me, it is rude. If it was an adult I wouldn't be sending anything.

TheHighPriestessOfTinsel Mon 26-Dec-16 21:55:30

I think thank yous are essential TBH. I'm not dogmatic, and think a text/email/whatsapp is as valid as a written note.

It does fuck me off that only one of my teenage nieces and nephews can even be arsed to do that, and it means that now I just send a token voucher to the others. I'd be more generous and/or thoughtful if I got a sense that it was appreciated.

Although I do agree that the grace period for Christmas thank yous runs up until twelfth night.

clumsyduck Mon 26-Dec-16 22:19:36

Not suprised you feel its unappreciated ! Hopefully youl get some thankyous soon! Iv had this in the past and its really rude !!

chocolateworshipper Mon 26-Dec-16 22:34:38

Compromise could be to send gift vouchers. You may feel less bothered if you have put no thought into it, whilst DH gets to feel good about still sending something

Mouikey Mon 26-Dec-16 22:53:27

Haha! It's not just us then - we rarely get thank you'd or acknowledgements of presents we have purchased for birthdays or Christmas. We don't give to receive but some of the presents we have received in the past are rather thoughtless, yet I still thank whoever purchased them. I do think that I'll not bother in the future, but know I will.

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