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To ask for advice on how to deal with 8 yr old DS's over-reactions to things

(8 Posts)
Exileinengland1999 Mon 26-Dec-16 11:58:23

DS is 8 and a lovely sensitive little boy. However he totally over reacts to small things as obviously they feel like big things to him. Example- he had Lego for Xmas and it 'broke' this morning- he was screaming so much upstairs that I actually expected blood to be pouring out of his head or something. I don't think I handled it well as he then asked me why I was telling him off but I was just freaked out by the deathly screaming.
Aibu to ask how to deal with situations like this as don't know quite how to handle it. I did say 'don't be dramatic' which obvs wasn't particularly sensitive but it was so dramatic! shock

Christmassnake Mon 26-Dec-16 11:59:47

Can you give any other examples of his behaviour

user1477282676 Mon 26-Dec-16 12:01:55

I was like that as a child...similar age too.

For me...and I can clearly remember this...it was to do with things not being "perfect"

I would Hvae this idea of how things needed to be...and if they weren't then I just broke down.

My sister for instance...she found the card I'd made for her before I'd had chance to glitter it....so I had the biggest tantrum ever....my Dad came in...frightened by the noise...and I said I'd banged my head! I KNEW it wasn't on to do that but couldn't help it.

What might have helped is turning back time! Of course that wasn't possible....I just gradually learned to control myself.

I still feel things deeply though. I channel it into writing and art.

youarenotkiddingme Mon 26-Dec-16 12:02:11

My ds gets stressed easily at some things - and other things you'd think should cause drama he almost doesn't even notice hmm grin

I deal with it by telling him screaming is not going to solve the issue and asking him how he thinks he can get whatever's happened resolved?

WhereYouLeftIt Mon 26-Dec-16 12:05:33

"I don't think I handled it well as he then asked me why I was telling him off"
IMO telling him off was the correct way to handle it. He was screaming for no good reason, that merits a telling off.

Ditsy4 Mon 26-Dec-16 12:07:10

Sit him down when he has calmed down and in a low, quiet voice that the type of behaviour he showed this morning is unacceptable. Explain that we all get upset when things break but that when you heard him screaming you thought he had had an accident and you were really worried.
Keep calm.
Tell him if he can't cope with the frustration that models sometimes break then you will have to put it away until he is older( that should stop the screaming) and ask him if that had happened at school to think how he would behave. Reminding him that he would behave differently might make him think. Get him out for a walk as too much indoors isn't good for boys. Hope things improve.

Wolfiefan Mon 26-Dec-16 12:08:38

What else upsets him?
For this I would tell him off for screaming. That's not ok.
I would ask him to talk to me. Offer reassurance and explain why it isn't a big deal. Eg Lego is supposed to come apart. It's not broken. It can be put back together. If it upsets you then shall we put it in a box so you can carry it around without further mishaps?
He's allowed to be upset. He needs to be able to figure out what is a big deal and what really isn't. He needs to express his upset in a better way.

user1471545174 Mon 26-Dec-16 12:35:40

Tell him you can only hear what he's saying if he says it quietly.

works on my DH

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