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Is she serious?

(42 Posts)
StarkintheSouth Mon 26-Dec-16 09:29:12

My MiL is staying for a couple of nights for Christmas and is loving spending time with our 10 week old DD. But she keeps on saying 'oh she must get really sore being passed around all the time.' Sore? She's being cuddled/fed not running a marathon. The baby loves people and is very social so I don't know what she's on about but she keeps harping on.
Pass the wine...!!!
Anyone else's family coming up with some gems like this?

MsJamieFraser Mon 26-Dec-16 09:30:30

She maybe right, babies do get sore, YabU

luckylucky24 Mon 26-Dec-16 09:31:38

Most people are the opposite and sulk if you DON'T pass the baby round.

DD is adopted and people keep telling me that it is okay because "she is too young to remember anything so won't have issues"....Yeah okay, whatever!

DollyPlastic Mon 26-Dec-16 09:31:45

I'm guessing you don't like her?

Birdsgottafly Mon 26-Dec-16 09:36:11

Why don't you just ask her what she means?

HerBluebiro Mon 26-Dec-16 09:39:09

I'm guessing mil doesn't like op. She is criticising op for not being the one to hold her all the time. For handing her daughter round.

Are you talking to other adults op? Maybe having a drink?

JumpingJellybeanz Mon 26-Dec-16 09:39:19

Is she Irish? My parents would use 'sore' to mean upset/fed up.

StarkintheSouth Mon 26-Dec-16 09:40:45

dollyplastic I like her she's just quite irritating sometimes - all gets a bit much over Christmas and in my sleep deprived state I have to bite my tongue!
Jamie the baby isn't sore she's happy and gurgling away!

ThePinkOcelot Mon 26-Dec-16 09:42:43

Loves people at 10 weeks?! Okayyyy!!
Anyway, babies aren't meant to be passed around like parcels. There little bones could get sore from being passed about. She's got a point.

Giselaw Mon 26-Dec-16 09:45:50

I'm still laughing at the real gem in your OP "The baby loves people and is very social"

More likely that she's sore than is social, really. grin

GreatFuckability Mon 26-Dec-16 09:47:35

How do bones get sore from being held??? What utter bollocks! In some cultures babies are literally held at all times until they can walk. They don't get 'sore'. hmm

Candlestickchick Mon 26-Dec-16 09:48:01

YANBU what a ridiculous thing to say

awayinamazda Mon 26-Dec-16 09:48:59

'There little bones could get sore..'

Wow, really! I've never heard of that before and none of my DCs seemed to have sore bones - I guess it must be a fairly new discovery...Just you g to Google that one...;-)

GreatFuckability Mon 26-Dec-16 09:49:12

And of course babies can be social. My eldest hated being put down and was happiest being held and paid attention son hated being cuddled and was happiest left alone.

ihatethecold Mon 26-Dec-16 09:50:30

Weird comments on this thread.
Sore bones????

TheCuriousOwl Mon 26-Dec-16 09:50:34

hmm Babies' bones don't get 'sore' from being passed about.

Babies don't like being passed round like parcels because they get overstimulated but aside from that what a load of rubbish. If you're doing something by passing a baby from one person to another that could cause 'soreness' you're really doing it wrong!

EnoughAlreadyLady Mon 26-Dec-16 09:51:53

The more interactions the baby has in these early days, the more neural networks are established. Of course a small baby can be alert and social. OP is doing a great job.

Loraline Mon 26-Dec-16 09:55:01

My mother used to prompt me to put ds1 down when he was asleep, or awake and happy, as his 'bones will get sore' from being held. No idea where this came from but it does seem to be a thing said by a certain generation

Goingtobeawesome Mon 26-Dec-16 09:57:35

Some people need educating...

harderandharder2breathe Mon 26-Dec-16 09:59:38

Of course babies can be social (in comparison to other babies). Some don't mind being passed round every one and their dog, some only want mummy and scream if passed to anyone else

Sore is weird. As long as they're being held safely and are happy, what's the physical difference between great aunty sue holding them and mum holding them? Unless people are suggesting parents can hold their (happy and content) baby too much?

BertrandRussell Mon 26-Dec-16 10:01:10

"Anyway, babies aren't meant to be passed around like parcels"

Yes they are. They are also meant to be dressed up like dollies and played with like toys.

Unless they don't like it, of course. In which case they aren't.

ThePinkOcelot Mon 26-Dec-16 10:03:12

Awayinamazda- but how do you know they definitely don't?!
Anyway my mum used to say the same. She's in her 80's so maybe a generation thing.
I do know for definite that my DN had a very unsettled night following being passed around at her christening. Unfortunately she couldn't tell us whether her bones were sore or not!

Nanny0gg Mon 26-Dec-16 10:11:56

No idea where this came from but it does seem to be a thing said by a certain generation

Which one? Because I have never in my 60+ years heard it before.

KittyVonCatsington Mon 26-Dec-16 10:19:43

luckylucky Those people might be right. I was adopted at a very young age and I don't have any issues. Without knowing any more of your situation, I would say that isn't a horrendous thing to say.

TheCuriousOwl Mon 26-Dec-16 10:21:02

Ocelot the reason babies get unsettled after a day of being passed around is overstimulation. Babies get overstimulated and they might cry but commonly they just go to sleep to 'escape' and so on a day full of visitors you will get 'oh he's an angel and he's so good' then the night comes and they're up all night because they are processing all that overstimulation they had in the day.

Not all babies will be like this. But babies don't have delayed response to pain any more than adults do. If something is hurting a baby it would cry so the concept that passing a happy baby around somehow will make it 'sore' in a way that it won't tell you about or would tell you about later on makes no sense!

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