Hi,
So, my mil turns up on xmas day morning (not meant to be there until the late eve). We are mid-present opening.
She presents my lo with a stocking containing a letter from santa (i had already written one, which we hadnt got to yet!) and also a present plus accessories....one which i had bought for my lo but which we had not yet opened!
I felt so upset that she waltzed in and took away not only my experience of reading my lo his letter from fc, but that she also took away the suprise of the gift i had bought aswell! - and opened it with him and played with it with him! I just sat there and played along because i didnt want to hurt her feelings by saying we already have one for our lo!
My mil NEVER consults on gifts which pisses me off but i felt absolutely gutted about the letter from fc that she read out to him, combined with her presenting the same gift to our lo that was still wrapped and under our tree!
Anyway, mil breezed out just as she breezed in (after ruining 2 special moments for me!) and i was both upset and livid. My oh got it in the neck sadly as this is our lo 2nd xmas and i told him to speak to her last year (to stop doing fc letter) as this is what i want to do for our lo, as lo's mum. He hadnt said anything to her as he forgot...He said he understood why i was upset and will talk to her re fc letters. We have agreed that no gifts from others will be opened until OURS have been opened from now on (because she will not consult on gifts (b'day, xmas etc) and at least it wont be us upset by duplicates if we do it that way!)
My view is that she did all the fc letters etc with her own kids and now it is my turn as lo mother - i look fwd to doing it and seeing the excited face as lo gets older every year. I dont want her turning up and stealing that moment every year.
Sadly she has a habit of barging in on precious moments - buying our lo first shoes (for christening!), first xmas and halloween outfits, first bloody everythings!. Ive tried to drop hints but she takes no notice. She arranges or buys things literally 8/9 months in advance so it feels like we have no choice or are being unreasonable if we dont go along with her choices.
This year, lo first proper fc visit for the 1st weekend in dec (of course! Had to be first!) was dropped on us as a 'suprise' in march!! It was a shitty hotel fc and not what me and my oh had in mind for his first fc visit at all. We did something else the 3 of us afterwards but that first time had already been and gone....
What i want to do is tell mil to go fuck herself (we dont get on, not my fault, i have tried believe me!). My oh is in the middle and i dont want to make it awkward for him as they already have a difficult relationship (because she us a self centred cow).
Anyone else in this situation? Any advice and aibu to want to experience these special moments without her pushing her way in on them all? - she is included in most stuff so there is no excuse for her behaviour!
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bloody mil strikes again...but aibu?
20 replies
Smartiepuf · 26/12/2016 08:04
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