Had Christmas celebration with DH's side of the family last week, which my DM was invited to by my sister in law. Me and SIL both have same aged DC. Mum bought a surprisingly generous number of gifts for SIL's DC, but I didnt really think much about it. Roll on today and my own DC have received half as much, despite being her own grandchildren! Have tried to brush it off as she is a very affectionate grandmother, but I can't help feel hurt that she bought more for a child she probably meets at one or two family events a year. But I know it's her money to spend as she wishes, and although we don't go overboard it's not as if my DC have no toys.
So, am I being unreasonable to feel hurt? If not, should I mention it? And if I am being, how can I get over it? Feeling stupidly teary.
AIBU?
To feel hurt that DM got more presents for SIL's child than for her own GC?
eatsleepfeedrepeat · 25/12/2016 23:01
No, she spent £10-15 each on my DC (I bought most of the presents and she gave me the money). I know it sounds grabby, and I know that time/money/effort spent on gifts doesn't equal love. Its just the spending more on a relative stranger that's made me feel a bit like we don't matter. Argh think I'm just tired after a long and stressful day of hosting, trying to make everyone feel happy and not feeling like I've got a lot back 
I guess so, although I think knowing them and how much their DC has had spent on them her £20 offering was pretty insignificant too.
Sheldon I bought a couple of things as she doesn't trust the internet and couldn't find the items in town, but assumed that this wouldn't be their only gifts (given that she'd bought more than that for my SILs child! And had actually bought one thing they asked for plus other gifts.) So I really dont think it was a protest about how controlling I am 
. I think she just didn't give any thought to my DC, which I should try to forget as I know she does love them really.
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eatsleepfeedrepeat YANBU. It is odd. I bet your mum has no idea it upset you.
Of course yu can let it go. But as it has upset you, I think I would mention it, just to ask her if there is a reason etc.
If the OP''s mum was grateful for being invited over the usual thing to do (IMHO) is to take a contribution like posh chos or a dessert or wine or to take something like flowers or a potted plant.
By spending more on the other families kids it is quite weird to me. Of course OP can let it go, if she can, but if she can't she is better to say something matter of factually now, rather than brood over it for a while and still end up sating something.
I guess, it is not really about the money, exactly, so much as why.
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As she is a normal, involved loving grandmother you should just let it go.
My guess is that your DM got herself worked up/nervous about being invited to a (sort of) stranger's celebration and overcompensated with the DCs gifts. She possibly even panicked and gave them some that were bought for your DC. I could imagine my own DM doing similar. But it's just stuff. She loves and is affectionate to your DC and that's all that matters.
Seriously, read some of the other threads on here and feel grateful for your DM 
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