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To go home and take all presents home and return them

(54 Posts)
CatSittingMonkey Sun 25-Dec-16 12:14:58

I don't know where to start. My family is quite dysfunctional - not a lot of care/love/support. Narc mum with enabler dad further complicated by mum showing early signs of dementia.
I've woken up with shingles (second timer), feel like crap but get up, get showered etc and head downstairs to pitch in. Let them know I've got shingles, get told I should take it easy by mother. I crack on with hoovering the downstairs and tidying up (place is huge and random shit all over the place to give some context). No problem, happy to help out and pitch in.

Brother and sister currently doing nothing to help then announce they're going to the beach with the dog. Great, I'd like to go but aware of how much needs to be done so crack on with prepping veg for the meal.

Dad is cleaning the chandelier at this point and mum is in the kitchen flapping around. I ask her if she could pour me drink while I'm working. She starts throwing a fit about how demanding i am and that we should wait for everyone to come back. I say that surely as I'm busy working i can have a glass of champagne?!
No, no I can't and how dare I act like a spoiled child, demanding all the time?!?!

She then storms out leaving me alone to continue prepping. I'm then stood doing the sprouts over the sink and having a little cry, i feel so alone.

Then both mum and dad come back in and dad pours me a drink. Hallelujah!

I ask mum what time she's planning dinner for, to get a tirade of how it was meant to be at 2pm blah blah whinge whinge.
So I just say "hold on, what time do you want dinner, it's 12pm now so 2pm is out of the question as turkey not even in yet."

My dad steps in and shouts at me to stop demanding and speaking to my mother like that?!?! Wtf. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. All i want to know is when to put the veg in!

I shouted at him to stop enabling her behaviour - I know, I shouldn't have but I'm sick of her treating me like a servant who must never question or clarify anything.

Dad just basically told me to "fuck off home". So, like a child I'm in my room wondering where the fuck it all went wrong and what the hell I am doing here.

I've not cried this much all year. I'm tempted to just fuck off home (4hrs away) like dad suggested and take their presents with me to return next week.

AIBU? Am i mad or are they right?! I just don't know if I am being a spoiled brat like they say.

Sorry for long rant. That's not even the half of it 😔

PaulDacresConscience Sun 25-Dec-16 12:16:56

I'd just go TBH. Is this normal for your family?

PossumInAPearTree Sun 25-Dec-16 12:18:22

I would pack and leave.

Teepish Sun 25-Dec-16 12:19:56

You're not a spoilt brat my darling, you're trapped in a very draining situation with two very draining people.
It's time for you to separate yourself from them. Not today if you haven't the strength, but in small steps in the new year. For your own mental health. flowers

Hellmouth Sun 25-Dec-16 12:20:41

Go home; it doesn't sound like they appreciate you at all. They can't get mad at you for doing what you're told ;)

Lilaclily Sun 25-Dec-16 12:20:46

Gosh I'm not sure what to say

Your mother is ill? So maybe your dad is beyond stressed trying to get her stressed? I wouldn't have faff ed about hoovering and I would have poured myself a drink

RandomMess Sun 25-Dec-16 12:21:12

Go home and don't bother anymore. It does hurt going NC but less painful than staying in touch....

WildNightsWithAndyDay Sun 25-Dec-16 12:21:48

That sounds awful. I'm sorry they're being crap x

Mumto2uk Sun 25-Dec-16 12:22:24

I would go home, put a good film on, have a bubble bath, glass of wine and have a relaxing day. Sod the drama and leave them to it x

Milklollies Sun 25-Dec-16 12:23:43

Go nc

PaperMaicheLobster Sun 25-Dec-16 12:25:22

Go but i dont know why you would take your presents just to come back with them next week.

Leave them and dont bother wasting your life visiting them next week. Im sure you have to better things to do

Therealloislane Sun 25-Dec-16 12:25:49

Go home.

Foxysoxy01 Sun 25-Dec-16 12:26:22

Go home.
Make a nice day just for you. Glass of wine some comfort food and a good film.
Sod them and don't let it worry/upset you. flowers

QueenLizIII Sun 25-Dec-16 12:27:23

Go home. ive had to walk out on my family today. their vile behaviour has exceeded all expectations

Blomme Sun 25-Dec-16 12:28:50

Sounds familiar flowers
I'd go home. Maybe leave them a small present each.
Then (hopefully) they will realise once you've left that the downstairs is clean because of you, the veg isn't getting peeled and how lovely you are for giving them presents.
At least you have peace and sanity without them.

LittleLionMansMummy Sun 25-Dec-16 12:29:13

Polishing the chandelier? Sounds like an episode of Only Fools and Horses mixed with Keeping up Appearances.

Fuck me, they sound toxic and you deserve a better Christmas than they're likely to give. Go home and tell them to contact you when they can behave like decent parents.

EZA15 Sun 25-Dec-16 12:30:31

Another one for voting to go home here. They're really not worth it, it seems

SundaeLieIn Sun 25-Dec-16 12:31:33

That all sounds dreadful and you don't deserve that treatment. Get out of there as soon as you can, do the drive and make sure you have a large glass when you get home. x

RB68 Sun 25-Dec-16 12:32:52

Go home via M&S garage and fuck em I say

Also have a serious think about next year and where you will spend it - ie not with those pair

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 25-Dec-16 12:33:52

Go home and order take out. I would.

Wine and some dds and you are sorted.

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 25-Dec-16 12:34:01


busyboysmum Sun 25-Dec-16 12:34:20

Can you go to the beach with your siblings and have fun with them?

HecAteAllTheXmasPud Sun 25-Dec-16 12:34:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Xenophile Sun 25-Dec-16 12:34:47

Go home.

If you're in the North West, you could always come and have Christmas dinner with us, I seem to have enough to feed a small army.

You do not deserve to be spoken to, or treated like this, by anyone. Let alone the group of people who are supposed to love you.

KC225 Sun 25-Dec-16 12:37:47

Another for go home but do not humiliate yourself by going back next week. You need a break and to establish some boundaries.

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