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So very, very upset for poorMIL

(58 Posts)
MatildaTheCat Sun 25-Dec-16 09:14:27

She's 87 and physically very frail indeed so lives in a nursing home. Mentally very sharp and knows precisely where each of her possessions is.

Yesterday evening I went to get her stuff ready for today. After choosing her clothes she asked me to get out her favourite antique silver necklace. It's gone. Her jewellery wrap is empty, including her wedding ring. Tucked safely in a drawer,mint can, I fear only be a member of staff. Several nice,months massively valuable bits stolen.

Just who the fuck does something like that? So very upset for her. Have reported to staff and I guess the Police will be informed ( by us). Just had to get it off my sad chest. sad

MatildaTheCat Sun 25-Dec-16 09:15:11

Not massively valuable...

hesterton Sun 25-Dec-16 09:17:11

That is awful. Poor lady. Whenever we lose something/have a prang etc we try to get all Polly Anna about it and thank heavens it is just stuff that's lost not a loved one. Might that help her? Bit crass I know...

endofthelinefinally Sun 25-Dec-16 09:18:06

It is a sad fact that it is not safe for elderly people to take any valuables into a care home.

I am afraid your poor MIL is not the first and won't be the last.

RuggerHug Sun 25-Dec-16 09:18:09

That is horrible sad hope they do sort it/find themsadflowers

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 25-Dec-16 09:18:28

What kind of sick fuck would do that sad
Your poor MIL.

No choice but to continue allowing the thief til it's proven to look after her.

Just disgusting sad

Rosa Sun 25-Dec-16 09:19:19

That is shit and totally bad for her and also the home as they have a thief that is around.... Either staff or anyone else visiting. Yes Police should be involved and Also look locally in second hand shops , ebay etc as if its particular it might show up.

AwkwardSquad Sun 25-Dec-16 09:19:57

That's shit. The worst thing is that it'll affect her trust in the staff and she may feel less secure in her home. She may also worry about it being reported as people in her situation can be concerned about getting people into 'trouble' or that it's 'making a fuss'. Important to reassure her that it'll be investigated and it's the right thing to report it. Hopefully the home's Registered Manager will do the same.

PaperdollCartoon Sun 25-Dec-16 09:20:37

Just awful sad your poor MIL. How could anyone do that? Definitely inform the police.

FindoGask Sun 25-Dec-16 09:21:33

Definitely inform the police. That is absolutely unforgivable. Elderly people in nursing homes are so vulnerable; they've already been uprooted from environments they know and love. It's sickening to think someone would thieve what few valued possessions they still have.

endofthelinefinally Sun 25-Dec-16 09:22:11

In our case it was the home manager who was the thief. sad

ExitPursuedBySantaSpartacus Sun 25-Dec-16 09:23:00

Bastards.

YoHoHoandabottleofTequila Sun 25-Dec-16 09:23:23

How awful. My DGM jewellery was stolen by her carer which included my great grandad's wedding ring. It's totally shit.

SILfoundmyusername Sun 25-Dec-16 09:27:53

Very sorry, but I would inform the police yourselves. If the person in charge of contacting them is part of the stealing then they will say police involved but not. Don't leave it for the home to do. Will take very seriously especially as vulnerable adults

Scooby20 Sun 25-Dec-16 09:32:18

I wouldn't be too quick to blame the staff. This happened to dhs grandad. All the jewellery that belong to dhs grandma's wife went missing my he was devastated.

We thought it was staff. Turned out it was Mil. She felt she had more right to her mother jewellery than he did. It's very out of character for her and it never crossed our minds that it was be a family member.

Scooby20 Sun 25-Dec-16 09:32:47

And yes it needs to be reported to the police.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan Sun 25-Dec-16 09:40:14

The nursing home should be the ones to report it, but ask for the incident number. If you dpnt trust them to repirt it then report it yourselves. Also ask your MIL if she wants you to be there when the police come to investigate.

I really hope that it turns out to be some innocent explanation and that the jewellery turns up.

HeirOfNothingInParticular Sun 25-Dec-16 09:53:58

When my late MIL was in a nursing home, someone used to steal her batteries! DH used to buy Duracell for her TV remote control, and when he was next there (he used to visit every 2/3 weeks, as we lived 250 miles away) she would be complaining her TV wouldn't work, and the batteries had been replaced with some cheap dead ones. This happened on many occasions. She also had money taken on several occasions. I hope I never have to live in a nursing home.

Brewdolf Sun 25-Dec-16 10:16:39

Poor MIL. This happened to my Nan when she was in the home. Eventually my DPs managed to get her to part with most of her cherished possessions into safekeeping with them but it was very sad as she was never going to be able to leave the home. So unfair that they can't have nice things with them to make these places seem homely sad

Mindtrope Sun 25-Dec-16 10:17:28

The nursing home should be the ones to report it

Why? It's the poor woman who has been the victim of theft. Damn right the OP should report it.

RandomMess Sun 25-Dec-16 10:23:07

sad

girlelephant Sun 25-Dec-16 10:26:38

That's horrid!

Beebeeeight Sun 25-Dec-16 10:27:13

My DGM's jewellery was stolen from hospital.

lalalalyra Sun 25-Dec-16 10:28:07

Speak to the staff right away. It could be another resident - particularly if they have any with dementia. They should have enough staff to keep an eye all the time but they don't. We're frequently having to remove things from DH's Aunt that we know she's picked up when she's been in the wrong room. She is oblivious.

If anything goes missing Aunts room is always where the staff look first.

UnbornMortificadoAtChristmas Sun 25-Dec-16 10:28:49

It couldn't be another resident could it? In one of my hospital stays there was an elderly lady who's MH issues coupled with dementia made her light fingered.

Your poor mil sad

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