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To dislike martyrs?

(19 Posts)
brasty Sun 25-Dec-16 00:06:16

If you want to spend lots of time doing something for others, then do it. But don't do it and then moan that no one else is helping you. No one else is helping because every offer is rebuffed, because no one does it exactly like you. And because others cut corners because they are not going to kill themselves trying to do something perfectly.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Sun 25-Dec-16 00:07:34

Erm.... not sure what you are looking for people to say as we don't know the situation you are stressed about

AnthonyPandy Sun 25-Dec-16 00:09:02

And you know what? No-one else is even bothered whether it gets done or not. So stop doing it!

Raaaaaah Sun 25-Dec-16 00:10:15

Ha. I am this person blush. Trying not to be though as I irritate myself!

AnthonyPandy Sun 25-Dec-16 00:10:23

Oh shit that looks rude. I am talking to martyrs not the OP.

brasty Sun 25-Dec-16 00:10:31

I know you don't know my situation, but surely you must know or have known someone who is a martyr?

BlueFolly Sun 25-Dec-16 00:10:40

I agree, there's nothing worse! It's just manipulation.

brasty Sun 25-Dec-16 00:11:37

I knew what you meant Andy.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Sun 25-Dec-16 00:12:03

Depends on the situation - this is a bit like Vaguebooking though - you clearly have an issue with one particular person, people can't help, discuss it etc when it's a little abstract

JiltedJohnsJulie Sun 25-Dec-16 00:13:15

I work with a martyr. I feel sorry for her family, she talks to them like shit on the phone then spends the rest of the day telling us how much she does for them and how they don't appreciate her effort hmm

WilburIsSomePig Sun 25-Dec-16 00:14:22

Couldn't agree more!

Chippednailvarnishing Sun 25-Dec-16 00:19:46

Yup, I find martyrs just so draining. If you don't like it, don't do it!

ollieplimsoles Sun 25-Dec-16 00:44:14

This is mil, she finds ANY situation to martyr, Christmas is her favourite time for it, and she just loves to tell everyone how hard she has worked and how much everything would fall apart without her.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sun 25-Dec-16 00:48:06

<reads the runes> You are spending Christmas with your mum?

littlepeas Sun 25-Dec-16 00:53:20

My dh would insist that he can't do anything to help me at Christmas as I am too much of a perfectionist about it. Actually bollocks, would love some help, but he insists he can't do anything right. The year I had the norovirus springs to mind - playing santa inbetween vomits, no help from dh because he knew he wouldn't do it right. Bit of an excuse in our house. Sometimes people are made to look like martyrs by the people around them being shit.

brasty Sun 25-Dec-16 00:53:43

ollie - sounds like we know the same woman!
She did her married DDs Christmas food shop today, in amongst doing a million and one other things, and kept complaining about how tired she was. Any suggestions that her DD or her Husband could do the food shop, were rejected. She doesn't have to do all these things, she chooses to do so. Although she would never accept that.

brasty Sun 25-Dec-16 00:55:09

that is true littlepeas. That sounds shit for you.
But honestly that is not the case with the person I am talking about.

Casmama Sun 25-Dec-16 01:01:13

Mmm littlepeas I do wonder if you are that martyr - anyone else would surely say "just do it and I promise I won't complain"

JiltedJohnsJulie Sun 25-Dec-16 01:08:12

The Martyr I know comes out with a very similar story too Little.

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