Advanced search be going crazy already with DM staying

(13 Posts)
Deadsouls Sat 24-Dec-16 23:23:04

DM and Step-Dad are staying for Christmas.

Unfortunately when DM has been drinking she becomes belligerent and quite impossible to talk to. We have already gotten into conflict a few times this evening, mostly about when to put presents out (I know...)

I should've learnt by now not to react or even engage when DM is pissed. It doesn't end well.
But I did react and got into an argument. I can't even describe it properly but it's upsetting for me to have to deal with DM when she's like this. And then faving stupid bloody arguments about presents
I want to scream!
Sometimes I think DM and me just don't like each other very much which is sad. We have a difficult relationship.

Not sure what looking for. Just having a rant this Xmas eve.

Merry Christmas all confused

PickAChew Sat 24-Dec-16 23:26:14

She sounds bloody tedious.

"It's my house. If you don't like it, fuck off to bed" (or more polite versions, thereof) is a good one to practice.

CockacidalManiac Sat 24-Dec-16 23:36:03

Stop inviting them.

Deadsouls Sat 24-Dec-16 23:37:16

I think it's all normal for my DM
And me to be arguing by this point. I think we just don't get on and that gets amplified when she's been drinking. But I wonder whether that's quite common? To not get on with one's DM in adulthood.

Deadsouls Sat 24-Dec-16 23:37:31

Plus being Christmas and all that...

CockacidalManiac Sat 24-Dec-16 23:39:39

Christmas doesn't mean that you have to make yourself miserable. Just don't do it next year.

Deadsouls Sat 24-Dec-16 23:39:46

That's an idea. Somehow I'd never thought of that. They come from abroad though to come for Christmas and to see grandkids.
There's not necessarily a solution. As written before I obviously don't react well, we don't get on and maybe it's the way it is.

Deadsouls Sat 24-Dec-16 23:40:32

But I may think of a creative solution for next year.

CockacidalManiac Sat 24-Dec-16 23:42:34

There's lots of threads about similar this year. Women inviting horrible relatives, often pissheads, to stay over Xmas out of obligation or guilt; then having a horrible time of it.
Next year, be kind to yourself. You can take control of the situation.

SantasJockstrap Sat 24-Dec-16 23:46:34

I had my mother to stay for two nights before my wedding and it was horrendously stressful and I would never do it again, EVER. What was meant to be lovely mother daughter time really was highlighted into a series of passive aggressive put downs spaced out over two days

DierdrePewtey Sat 24-Dec-16 23:54:41

"My gaff, my rules"

Deadsouls Sat 24-Dec-16 23:56:23

That's becomes like this passive aggressive showdown!

llangennith Sun 25-Dec-16 00:02:23

Oh I do feel for you. My DIL is lovely unless she's had a drink. Seems incapable of moderation and when she's drunk she's belligerent and confrontational. This happens quickly. Fortunately my DS recognises the signs but it does spoil things.

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