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AIBU?

AIBU to expect a text message reply at least sometimes?

47 replies

tigercub50 · 24/12/2016 19:41

One of my bugbears is people not replying to texts, although exceptions are my Mummy friends as I know how busy they can be & I see them regularly anyway. Men can be culprits but I won't say it's always a male problem. Particularly upsetting is things like Christmas greetings where it would take seconds to send a text back. Any thoughts about texting in general?

OP posts:
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gamerchick · 24/12/2016 19:46

I never text back straight away. Even if its a boss.

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haveacupoftea · 24/12/2016 19:50

Can't remember the last time I had a text. All chatting done via whatsapp or FB messenger now.

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Bibblitybob · 24/12/2016 19:51

Personally, if me, DH & DC are all together I have my phone on silent A lot of the time on the shelf all weekend, and I only bother to look at it in the evening, if at all.
Maybe they haven't seen the message.

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blowmybarnacles · 24/12/2016 19:53

My brother does this. I texted him last week for ideas for his kids birthdays next week. No response. I sent him a heartfelt text about a family issues. No response. I'm talking 3 weeks later here - he just forgets or ignores I suppose. I now text his wife, who does respond. Its rude and pisses me off.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 24/12/2016 19:54

It's very demanding to expect people to be at your beck and call immediately.

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chutneypig · 24/12/2016 19:54

I rarely have a signal at home and when I'm at work and have a good signal I'm working. I try and remember when I have time and a signal but it can slip my mind to reply.

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bluebeck · 24/12/2016 19:55

Why don't you call him if you know he doesn't respond to texts?

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HardcoreLadyType · 24/12/2016 19:59

I think it's quite rude to expect an immediate response, actually.

If it's urgent, phone. Otherwise, accept that everyone has things going on - not just your Mummy friends Hmm] - and wait.

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idontlikealdi · 24/12/2016 20:00

I I reply when I want to or when I see the text, not straight away. If you want an immediate response just call.

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SootSprite · 24/12/2016 20:19

Mummy friends??? Boak! Are you sure you're on the right site hun?

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HelenaWay · 24/12/2016 20:21

What's mummy friends?

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Deinonychus · 24/12/2016 20:22

I never text back to a "merry Christmas" type text, unless it is obviously personalised, as I presume it has been done as a "send to all" type message. Same with texts on New Year's Eve, I would be texting all night otherwise.

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DoosyFartlek · 24/12/2016 20:22

Text is a bit like email. It's fine to respond when you eventually get time. Call if you need answers immediately

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MoodyBox · 24/12/2016 20:23

YABU to assume only mothers are busy.

But yes, it is annoying.

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EweAreHere · 24/12/2016 20:25

I rarely (almost never) check my phone in the house; we struggle with getting a signal. People who want to reach me can message me if they see me online or call the landline.

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crazywriter · 24/12/2016 20:26

YABU. If you want a definite response right away then call.

A friend complained once that I never relied to messages right away. I'm not at his beck and call so we're not friends anymore.

There are all sorts of reasons someone won't reply straight away. And if they're like me they will forget to do it later.

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ilovesooty · 24/12/2016 20:27

Why would you send a heartfelt text to your brother about family issues? Surely you'd just call?

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HarryPottersMagicWand · 24/12/2016 20:28

Only on here would it be considered rude to actually reply to a message someone has sent Hmm. It's got sod all to do with being at someones beck and call ffs, it's called good manners, presumably if someone caught you in the street and spoke to you, you wouldn't blank them and just walkmoff. It's no different in my mind.

YANBU. Texts take seconds to type and send, a response at some point would be considerate. I think it's rude when people don't reply and most people are glued to their phones these days, I certainly don't know of anyone who doesn't check their phone more than once a day, including women who are mums. My brother is terrible for it. He replied yesterday. I messaged him over a week ago to try and arrange catching up while he is in town for Christmas, I'm surprised I actually got a reply at all. And its no good phoning to those who say ring instead, I've tried that before and he either doesn't answer or says he will ring back as he's busy then doesn't.

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theveryhighlife · 24/12/2016 20:32

I agree, I think it's rude not to reply to a message. I don't always have signal, so may not respond straight away, however to not reply at all is extremely rude!

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harderandharder2breathe · 24/12/2016 20:44

Yanbu

I used to have a friend who was awful at replying. But whenever I saw her she was glued to her phone, texting other people back.

Part of the reason she's not my friend anymore (the general not making me as much of a priority as I made her)

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BumDNC · 24/12/2016 20:45

I don't like the idea I Am expected to reply instantly. I also forget sometimes. It's life

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moveoverhogger · 24/12/2016 20:48

YABVU

If there wasn't a question in your message then there is no need fo a reply.

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Champagneformyrealfriends · 24/12/2016 20:50

If it's important enough that you need a response-ring. YABU.

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HolidaySpiritsReinbeerAndWhine · 24/12/2016 20:53

Why are 'mummy friends' (Hmm) exempt, but 'silly menz' irresponsible? I sometimes don't have signal, or misplace my phone, or someone has sent me a bloody wall of text and my brain can't handle too much information without at least 3 coffees in me. It can seem rude, but it's easy to read a message, think 'oh I'll reply to that in a minute' before life takes over. It's one of the few downsides of modern phones over the landlines of 20 years ago.

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Rollonbedtime7pm · 24/12/2016 20:53

Harry totally agree - takes moments to reply so no OP, YANBU.

I have a friend who is so shit at replying it drives me round the bend! She will just stop replying mid conversation and we always have half a set of arrangements to meet up or whatever when she goes awol!

Wouldn't be half as annoying if she didn't constantly have her bleeding phone in her hand when I do see her! So clearly is seeing the messages FFS! Confused

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