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AIBU to expect a text message reply at least sometimes?

(48 Posts)
tigercub50 Sat 24-Dec-16 19:41:46

One of my bugbears is people not replying to texts, although exceptions are my Mummy friends as I know how busy they can be & I see them regularly anyway. Men can be culprits but I won't say it's always a male problem. Particularly upsetting is things like Christmas greetings where it would take seconds to send a text back. Any thoughts about texting in general?

gamerchick Sat 24-Dec-16 19:46:45

I never text back straight away. Even if its a boss.

haveacupoftea Sat 24-Dec-16 19:50:14

Can't remember the last time I had a text. All chatting done via whatsapp or FB messenger now.

Bibblitybob Sat 24-Dec-16 19:51:16

Personally, if me, DH & DC are all together I have my phone on silent A lot of the time on the shelf all weekend, and I only bother to look at it in the evening, if at all.
Maybe they haven't seen the message.

blowmybarnacles Sat 24-Dec-16 19:53:46

My brother does this. I texted him last week for ideas for his kids birthdays next week. No response. I sent him a heartfelt text about a family issues. No response. I'm talking 3 weeks later here - he just forgets or ignores I suppose. I now text his wife, who does respond. Its rude and pisses me off.

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 24-Dec-16 19:54:16

It's very demanding to expect people to be at your beck and call immediately.

chutneypig Sat 24-Dec-16 19:54:54

I rarely have a signal at home and when I'm at work and have a good signal I'm working. I try and remember when I have time and a signal but it can slip my mind to reply.

bluebeck Sat 24-Dec-16 19:55:10

Why don't you call him if you know he doesn't respond to texts?

HardcoreLadyType Sat 24-Dec-16 19:59:20

I think it's quite rude to expect an immediate response, actually.

If it's urgent, phone. Otherwise, accept that everyone has things going on - not just your Mummy friends hmm] - and wait.

idontlikealdi Sat 24-Dec-16 20:00:49

I I reply when I want to or when I see the text, not straight away. If you want an immediate response just call.

SootSprite Sat 24-Dec-16 20:19:59

Mummy friends??? Boak! Are you sure you're on the right site hun?

HelenaWay Sat 24-Dec-16 20:21:42

What's mummy friends?

Deinonychus Sat 24-Dec-16 20:22:24

I never text back to a "merry Christmas" type text, unless it is obviously personalised, as I presume it has been done as a "send to all" type message. Same with texts on New Year's Eve, I would be texting all night otherwise.

DoosyFartlek Sat 24-Dec-16 20:22:47

Text is a bit like email. It's fine to respond when you eventually get time. Call if you need answers immediately

MoodyBox Sat 24-Dec-16 20:23:34

YABU to assume only mothers are busy.

But yes, it is annoying.

EweAreHere Sat 24-Dec-16 20:25:33

I rarely (almost never) check my phone in the house; we struggle with getting a signal. People who want to reach me can message me if they see me online or call the landline.

crazywriter Sat 24-Dec-16 20:26:13

YABU. If you want a definite response right away then call.

A friend complained once that I never relied to messages right away. I'm not at his beck and call so we're not friends anymore.

There are all sorts of reasons someone won't reply straight away. And if they're like me they will forget to do it later.

ilovesooty Sat 24-Dec-16 20:27:17

Why would you send a heartfelt text to your brother about family issues? Surely you'd just call?

HarryPottersMagicWand Sat 24-Dec-16 20:28:59

Only on here would it be considered rude to actually reply to a message someone has sent hmm. It's got sod all to do with being at someones beck and call ffs, it's called good manners, presumably if someone caught you in the street and spoke to you, you wouldn't blank them and just walkmoff. It's no different in my mind.

YANBU. Texts take seconds to type and send, a response at some point would be considerate. I think it's rude when people don't reply and most people are glued to their phones these days, I certainly don't know of anyone who doesn't check their phone more than once a day, including women who are mums. My brother is terrible for it. He replied yesterday. I messaged him over a week ago to try and arrange catching up while he is in town for Christmas, I'm surprised I actually got a reply at all. And its no good phoning to those who say ring instead, I've tried that before and he either doesn't answer or says he will ring back as he's busy then doesn't.

theveryhighlife Sat 24-Dec-16 20:32:40

I agree, I think it's rude not to reply to a message. I don't always have signal, so may not respond straight away, however to not reply at all is extremely rude!

harderandharder2breathe Sat 24-Dec-16 20:44:29


I used to have a friend who was awful at replying. But whenever I saw her she was glued to her phone, texting other people back.

Part of the reason she's not my friend anymore (the general not making me as much of a priority as I made her)

BumDNC Sat 24-Dec-16 20:45:43

I don't like the idea I Am expected to reply instantly. I also forget sometimes. It's life

moveoverhogger Sat 24-Dec-16 20:48:18


If there wasn't a question in your message then there is no need fo a reply.

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 24-Dec-16 20:50:23

If it's important enough that you need a response-ring. YABU.

HolidaySpiritsReinbeerAndWhine Sat 24-Dec-16 20:53:24

Why are 'mummy friends' (hmm) exempt, but 'silly menz' irresponsible? I sometimes don't have signal, or misplace my phone, or someone has sent me a bloody wall of text and my brain can't handle too much information without at least 3 coffees in me. It can seem rude, but it's easy to read a message, think 'oh I'll reply to that in a minute' before life takes over. It's one of the few downsides of modern phones over the landlines of 20 years ago.

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