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To think it's poor form to tell us you are bringing people with you 15mins before you arrive?

(31 Posts)
NapQueen Sat 24-Dec-16 14:45:28

Hosting a Christmas eve get together for one side of our family as we are at the other sides on Christmas day. One sister, one mother, mothers partner and sisters son.

Just had a text to say sister is bringing her ex husband and ex Husbands 18yo son from before he and sister got together. They are due in 15mins!

I've not seen the ex or the 18yo since before they separated 4years ago, and it wasn't a healthy or long marriage so tbh never really knew ex that well to start with!

yorkshapudding Sat 24-Dec-16 15:36:06

YANBU. That's really rude of her. Does she have form for this sort of thing?

Not much you can do now I suppose as presumably they're on their way. Is she the sort of person who you could calmly take to one side and say that you'd rather not be put in that position at future gatherings or is that likely to cause drama?

calzone Sat 24-Dec-16 15:37:22

Extremely rude.

I would not be very happy about this.

carabos Sat 24-Dec-16 15:39:07

It's a) very rude and b) weird to be bringing those particular people fconfused.

Pancakeflipper Sat 24-Dec-16 15:40:21

Rude but I also oddly like a surprise guest.
Hope it's not a sit down meal - that's harder to organise than if drinks and buffet affair.

Lilaclily Sat 24-Dec-16 15:40:22

How odd, do you think they're getting back together?

Footinmouthasusual Sat 24-Dec-16 15:41:00

Very rude

SomeKindofNightmare Sat 24-Dec-16 15:42:57

This time of year I tend to be a bit more relaxed about unexpected visitors, first, the house is more full of food than it normally is so it can be stretched for extras. Second, when it's happened to me, my invited visitors have had someone drop in on them unexpectedly and felt obliged to bring them along too so 15 minutes notice might be all they have to give me. Obviously, they apologise and ask if it's ok but it's pretty much a rhetorical question because no host wants to say no it's not ok even if that's what they're thinking.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 24-Dec-16 15:43:14

Extremely rude, especially her ex shock.

Kr1stina Sat 24-Dec-16 15:43:33

It's rude. Ask her to stop by the shops and buy some extra alcohol, it sounds like you might need it .

FatOldBag Sat 24-Dec-16 15:45:45

You can say no! That's beyond fucking rude.

Footinmouthasusual Sat 24-Dec-16 15:52:16

Yes tell her to stop off and buy extra alcohol and food.

PavlovianLunge Sat 24-Dec-16 16:13:17

It's rude, and at some point (after the event) I'd tell ask her not to ever pull that trick again.

TheSlaughterOfHerodificado Sat 24-Dec-16 16:14:49

Beyond bad-mannered! I would be furious. Has something awful happened in the ex's family and she' trying to help (still doesn't make it right).


Upanddownroundandround Sat 24-Dec-16 16:16:33

If the situation/relationship is awkward then she might have her arms tied maybe? It is difficult and a bit unreasonable but a just show Christmas spirit and enjoy your get together.

Upanddownroundandround Sat 24-Dec-16 16:18:09

I would also ask them to bring extra food and drink though.

Lynnm63 Sat 24-Dec-16 16:25:01

If,like me, you're renowned for producing far too much food then it's rude but doable. If you've done a plated up meal catered for exact numbers it's beyond rude.

sonjadog Sat 24-Dec-16 16:28:23

Depends what this get-together entails. If it is just drinks and nibbles, then not a bit problem. If it is dinner, then yes, it is inconsiderate.

leaveittothediva Sat 24-Dec-16 16:35:20

It's extremely rude of her, but what the hell can you say now without it causing an almighty row, and upsetting your other guests. And if you do kick of, your doing it in your own home, the atmosphere will be awful, you will upset yourself and then feel bad, because you can't leave. I'd definitely take her to one side, in the new year, and tell her you thought it was very inconsiderate of her to invite them to your home, and never to do this again. I'd bet she wouldn't like it if you did it to her.

Sparlklesilverglitter Sat 24-Dec-16 16:35:27

Rude to inform your hosts 15 minutes before arrival. Sometimes I think nobody has any manners anymore

Lweji Sat 24-Dec-16 16:38:33

I'd also be thinking that perhaps her hands were tied. I'd imagine some emotional blackmail about your niece or something like that.

I'd be asking them outright what had happened. Preferably in front of said ex.

DelphiniumBlue Sat 24-Dec-16 16:40:31

Why is it a problem? Is it dinner or just a get together with nibbles and drinks?

Liiinoo Sat 24-Dec-16 16:41:03

See it as a compliment to your hospitality. TBH I would be flattered that she thought I could cope and that they would have a good time at mine. Unless it's a very formal, plated meal it's always easy to make food stretch. The more the merrier Chez Liiinooo.

If you are worried about running out of food (or much worse) wine, ask her to pick up a few bits on her way over.

Drivingmadness Sat 24-Dec-16 16:44:22

Hm, neither DH and I are t from the UK but from 2 different country. Neither of us nor our parents would have thought it that rude. We would just get some extra (if necessary non-party ) food/nibbles or something.

Fuxfurforall Sat 24-Dec-16 16:46:40

It's Christmas - the season of good will and all that. Enjoy the evening.

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