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To think this is my mums fault and DBros gf shouldnt be sulking at me?

(179 Posts)
FloralBarbourCoat Sat 24-Dec-16 14:04:56

Mum, Dad, Dbro and GF arrived for Christmas last night.

Me and DH found out we are expecting number two this week. We wanted to surprise Dad and MIL with a special present tomorrow and needed Mum to help so I told her last night before dinner.

At dinner DBro and his GF handed me, Mum and Dad a Christmas card with a baby scan in it- so she has announced she is pregnant.

Mum then gets overexcited and blurts out that she can expect two grandchildren next year. Cue serious face from me- and DBro GF who feels like I have stolen her thunder as Mum and Dad who are genuinley happy for Dbro and GF- do seem happier for us as we have had a really shit year (FIL passing away, moving away and all the shit we get from MIL, DHs depression and the first couple of months this year were a bit bumpy financially) plus its a massive surprise as it took us 2 years to concieve with DD so the fact we have fallen pregnant without even trying has been a massive surprise to us all. Naturally while MIL congratulated DBro/GF she is obviously more excited about her own biological grandchild.

Anyway DBro GF got up from the table in tears. Everyone just looked awkward until DH said to DBro I think you should go and make sure shes OK (hes one of those awkward types hmm). DBro does so and comes back 10 minutes later to say that he and GF would be leaving and spending Christmas elsewhere.

Mum and Dad have managed to convince them to stay- but theres an incredibly bad atmosphere. DBro GF wont even look at me never mind talk to me despite my efforts.

DH has suggested we go for a walk/quick drink with DD for a few hours as im getting quite upset about it.

I do understand why DBro GF is upset but Aibu to think it isnt my fault?!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain Sat 24-Dec-16 14:07:35

YANBU as it's not your fault. It's just a bit of (premature) PFB behaviour. I would just be sympathetic and let it wash over you.

HecAteAllTheXmasPud Sat 24-Dec-16 14:07:42

Of course it's not your fault.
She is being silly.
She really is.
Hopefully she will get over herself and recognise you don't get exclusive rights re pregnancy.
It's not a competition

Underthemoonlight Sat 24-Dec-16 14:08:21

Yanbu she is being silly and immature. I wouldn't be pussy footing around if she can't be polite in your home I wouldn't go above and beyond, how old is she?

yorkshapudding Sat 24-Dec-16 14:08:56

Let her sulk. She's being ridiculous.

Scooby20 Sat 24-Dec-16 14:09:32

No its not your fault. But imagine how awful it is for the gf.

She announces she is pregnant and the focus shifts to you.

I can't help would derogatory of she feels this happens alot?

AndShesGone Sat 24-Dec-16 14:09:41

I don't think it's ok that your mother is happier for you than her son.

Or that being a 'biological grandchild' is any different

You're justifying it being different and I think you're wrong. If I was her I'd be pretty hurt too.

So yes I do think you've done something wrong. It's clear that you think your pregnancy is more important, there's no way she's not picked up on that

TheWitTank Sat 24-Dec-16 14:10:23

What do you mean her own biological grandchild? Surely both are as he is your brother?
Anyway, she sounds a bit dramatic, and crying and walking out in a huff is bizarre (unless your mum announced she was more excited about your baby of course?)

BlurryFace Sat 24-Dec-16 14:10:52

Pretty shit your mum and dad are happier for you. I'd have made my excuses and left.

RhiWrites Sat 24-Dec-16 14:11:41

Naturally while MIL congratulated DBro/GF she is obviously more excited about her own biological grandchild.

Huh? What? How is your brother's child not her biological grandchild?

Whatsername17 Sat 24-Dec-16 14:12:37

I think your brother and his girlfriend are over reacting a bit - each baby is a blessing and the whole 'stealing thunder' is silly. But, your mum shouldn't be showing that she is 'happier' for you. That's ridiculous. Surely if your brother is her son she's got two biological grandchildren on the way?

SlipperyLizard Sat 24-Dec-16 14:12:42

How is your DBro's child not your mum's biological grandchild? Or have I missed something?

FloralBarbourCoat Sat 24-Dec-16 14:12:57

I do genuinley understand that she probably feels very left out but I cant help my parents/MIL reaction and 100% wouldnt of announced for a few weeks unless Mum blurted it out.

She gets on very well with us all usually- Mum and Dad treat her as one of their own really

She is 26.

BarbarianMum Sat 24-Dec-16 14:13:36

It's the MiL who is happier for the OP - for obvious reasons.

Your mum has really put her foot in it and needs to do some serious apologising. Competitive pregnancy is silly but she really, really stole their moment, didn't she. And if she is acting more pleased about your pregnancy she needs to give her head a wobble or she may not be seeing much of her other grandchild.

RedHelenB Sat 24-Dec-16 14:13:41

I would seek her out and say sorry and that you hadnt meant for your Mum to steal her thunder like that. I would go and do it right now so you can all enjoy Christmas.

yorkshapudding Sat 24-Dec-16 14:13:45

I read it as MIL is OP's DH's mum and therefore not related to OP's brother or his GF..Hence she is more excited about her own grandchild. Maybe I've got that wrong though.

Salmotrutta Sat 24-Dec-16 14:13:51

I'm with TheWitTank - your brothers child will also be your mums "biological" grandchild!
Why on earth do you think it won't be? confused

Doughnutsmademefat Sat 24-Dec-16 14:14:36

I am confused about that too Thewit

ShadowMane Sat 24-Dec-16 14:14:41

isnt MIL dh mum, and not op mum? therefore MIL and DBro have no blood link

ChasedByBees Sat 24-Dec-16 14:15:02

Naturally while MIL congratulated DBro/GF she is obviously more excited about her own biological grandchild

Why is your brothers child not her biological grandchild?

ChasedByBees Sat 24-Dec-16 14:15:32

And if MIL is more excited for you, that is harsh.

FloralBarbourCoat Sat 24-Dec-16 14:15:45

I mean MIL as my MIL- my DHs Mum.

honeysucklejasmine Sat 24-Dec-16 14:15:45

I'm confused between your MIL and your Mum.

HecAteAllTheXmasPud Sat 24-Dec-16 14:15:53

Is the op not saying its her mother in law not her mother?
So a child of the op will be related to the mil
but a child of the ops brother will not be related to the mil.

ShadowMane Sat 24-Dec-16 14:15:54

so MIL is happier that HER DS is going to be a dad again which is normal

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