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I don't want the microwave

(51 Posts)
BrightonBelleCat Sat 24-Dec-16 11:16:52

My mum is coming for Christmas lunch tomorrow. She has bought me a microwave. I don't want one. I've told her I don't want one as I don't have enough work top space in my new house, I'm getting on alright without one.

I know she has bought me one because she told ds. I've got Mum a microwave don't tell her. And I quote 'she doesn't know what's for the best you can't be expected to use the cooker'

Ds is 14 he is quite capable of heating up baked beans.

This is one of many things she does like:

Come to my house and move my pic frames about because 'she thought they looked better'

Change my kitchen cupboards around because it flows better.

It's driven me up the wall for years.

Now I'm getting a microwave that I don't want. AIBU?

BobbieDog Sat 24-Dec-16 11:19:35


Leave it in its box

scurryfunge Sat 24-Dec-16 11:21:06

My mother also bought me one that did not want or need. I think they are ugly and take up too much space. It sat in the utility room and has eventually been donated to a community project.

BrightonBelleCat Sat 24-Dec-16 11:21:11

Oh and I know she said this to ds because She called him and he had her on loud speaker and I ear wigged.

YelloDraw Sat 24-Dec-16 11:21:13

Try and return it for a credit note?

SnatchedPencil Sat 24-Dec-16 11:23:06

She sounds rather controlling. I think that she thinks she knows what is best for you and perhaps feels you can't cope without her there to make the "correct" decisions for you.

I'm not sure what you can do though about this microwave without hurting her feelings. Hide it in a cupboard and only get it out when she comes around? It might be a bit of a hassle but you could say that it takes up too much space to have it always on the worktop (true) and so you only get it out when you need to use it (which is never, but don't mention that).

You could be direct and just say you don't want it. She might get the message but it's probably not worth the aggravation it could start!

BrightonBelleCat Sat 24-Dec-16 11:24:59

She told me she was getting me one for Christmas. I said no thanks no room and I'm getting on fine without one. I had one previously since moving I got rid and am not missing one particularly. Except to heat up my mince pies.

CherryChasingDotMuncher Sat 24-Dec-16 11:26:45

YANBU. Return it or eBay it. We didn't replace our microwave when it broke 3 years ago and we've never missed it once, having the worktop space is much better

DonutParade Sat 24-Dec-16 11:30:09

Time to stand your ground lady. Donate it to a shelter.

Heirhelp Sat 24-Dec-16 11:32:14

When you open make a point if saying I am sure the local food bank/ favourite charity shop will accept this.

If she has a key take it off her.

BrightonBelleCat Sat 24-Dec-16 11:36:15

She does have a key! I've asked for it back so many times. She used to have one when she looked after dc but doesn't anymore.

I feel mean but she makes me feel like I'm going a bit mad. Does that make sense? When I say to other people they say 'she does so much for you' and she tells everyone how I can't cope without her and how if it wasn't for her when I was a single mum I wouldn't have got through it.

This isn't true!

SunnySideDownUp Sat 24-Dec-16 11:44:32

Donate or eBay it. MIL has given us a soup cooker and slow cooker, both of which take up lots of space. To be fair, the slow cooker is really useful.

RayofFuckingSunshine Sat 24-Dec-16 11:45:43

Return it or sell it on. Tell her exactly what you've done.

harshbuttrue1980 Sat 24-Dec-16 11:49:08

Its a present. Accept it with grace. I really don't like the modern culture of regifting, asking to swap presents etc. However, she doesn't have the right to rearrange your cupboards.

Sparlklesilverglitter Sat 24-Dec-16 12:02:43

Why doesn't she think a 14 year old should be expected to heat beans on a hob? Weird your mother. Surely it's better he knows how to use a cooker than a nuke machine

I'd accept politely but If you don't want it maybe you can donate to something like a British heart foundation furniture shop ( the one here takes electrical) OR try and return to store they might give you a credit note without receipt. Put on free cycle

Happy Christmas to you fgrin

Heirhelp Sat 24-Dec-16 12:06:26

Get your locks changed as a Christmas present to yourself.

RochelleGoyle Sat 24-Dec-16 12:32:32

Accept the microwave, sell it, put the money towards getting your locks changed!

BrightonBelleCat Sat 24-Dec-16 12:38:55

Ds is more than capable however he is her little prince (not mine hers) and should not have to do anything. She is really not helping at all as I don't want him to be entirely useless.

Birdsgottafly Sat 24-Dec-16 12:44:42

I'm going to be in the same position. I'm moving my kitchen and I won't have room for a microwave. I've been 'monitoring' what this will mean and it adds up to a few more minutes cooking time.

Tell her that you won't use it, but if she insists that you accept it, then I'd suggest a Care Leaver charity, to pass it to, if you don't want to sell it.

You need to start rejecting and challenging her.

viques Sat 24-Dec-16 12:48:38

Got rid of mine a few years ago. I can honestly say I have not missed it once. I sympathise, I have a gifter who gives me things that take up valuable space and that I don't want or need, think ,juicer, smoothie maker, spiraliser...........I have said that if a bread maker ever appears it will be worn as a hat, but not on my head

PurpleCrazyHorse Sat 24-Dec-16 12:53:05

Find out where sells it and return after Christmas for a credit note or swap for something else.

Smile say thanks, if pushed repeat you are unlikely to use it. Move the conversation on.

dollydaydream114 Sat 24-Dec-16 12:57:53

Sell it and if she asks what happened to it, tell her that you sold it because you don't have room and didn't want it.

Insane that she thinks a teenager can't use a cooker. Plenty of 14 year olds can cook a full meal and bake cakes with no bother, let alone make themselves beans on toast or warm up a ready meal!

Supermagicsmile Sat 24-Dec-16 13:00:14

Return it for store credit!

Kirstyinnorway Sat 24-Dec-16 13:03:16

Use it as a doorstop whenever she pops round.

I haven't had a microwave in nearly 2 years and never miss it except when I let a cup of tea go cold and have to pour it in a pan to reheat

Very controlling and manipulative, no wonder you feel like you're going mad.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Sat 24-Dec-16 13:08:03

If you've said clearly that you don't want a microwave then it's v rude of her to overrule you, as if your opinion doesn't matter! It is criticising your choices.

Wrapping something up in sparkly paper doesn't magically make it polite.

In all honesty I would take her aside now and say that you still don't want a microwave, so please don't gift it to you, and you'd prefer that she doesn't give you a present. Otherwise she will pull similar stunts next year. You can be polite but firm about it.

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