AIBU to think she is an ass hole?(22 Posts)
Background so as not to drip feed. I've worked at the same company for 17years. Huge multinational with global presence.
I'm in middle management, have been for 12 years. I have a team of 12 working for me. They deal directly with customers as part of a huge operation.. 250+ I manage their performance, compliance etc. Have a super working relationship with them.
Anyway.. a colleague who was previously front line, dealing with customers has recently been giving a temporary promotion and given a team to manage. More a case of other managers leaving / mat leave do business needs rather than a permanent job. Well she is so fucking super eager it is fucking grinding down my patience. I'm tolerant, a team player, helpful etc but I'm this close to slapping this fucker!!!
It seems she is prepared to step in others to make herself look good to senior management. She 'touted' on me twice this week.. we are very quiet at the moment and it's Christmas. I'm the interest of keeping staff engaged and having some fun, I've allowed the front line staff some skive time. Having done this job for so long I understand the benefits of taking advantage of quiet times and giving staff a break. Because come the busy periods they slog their guts out and we milk them for everything they have! It's all about balance, right?
Anyway she openly challenged me on this today.. I pretty much ignored her. But then she rang my boss and told her I was allowing skive time!!! My boss is ling enough in the tooth to understand my strategy. I've worked with her for 8 years. This girl has a different boss btw. I laughed it off. But, hours later I'm finding myself getting more and more annoyed at her! She is an idiot!!!!
Yes she is doing a super job with her own team, but aibu to tell her to fuck off, run her own team and never mind what I do with mine??? She's going to need me before I need her but she is really getting under my skin! Sorry for the rant!
Sneakily let your team know that this new person doesnt approve of the downtime. Watch her popularity plummet. And merry christmas to you!
Yep she's an asshole! Who does that? I have a kind of similar situation emerging in work. Not even sure how to deal with it but I get it.
You are right, thank God your boss knows about down time and keeping up morale. People are not machines.
Will you get a chance to give some feedback on her performance? I'm not sure I'd say anything yet. If you do, grit your teeth and keep it professional as you already have the high ground...
Well you are definately not being unreasonable to be pissed off at her and to use MN to rant about it. It is much safer to do it here than at work. Ofc you know it would be a massive mistake to confront her in the manner you are suggesting. Could I suggest a more passive aggressive manner? Perhaps "Thanks love, when I need your advice on how to manage my team from someone doing it for 5 minutes, I'll be sure to ask" followed by a big smile, and if you are really seething with anger, follow it with "Merry Christmas!" Don't you just hate people like this!
Wow thank you!!! I was doubting myself! She is an ass hole. I will keep doing what I am doing and ignore her!
Kitty I love this!!!! Practising my passive aggressive smile as we speak
Do you know how your manager responded to her? I hope they patronised the fuck out of her and made her feel like a total tool for telling tales.
I used to have a manager like you. We worked our absolute arses off when we were busy because we actually liked our manager and wanted to please them. She is being a total dick
Could I suggest a more passive aggressive manner? Perhaps "Thanks love, when I need your advice on how to manage my team from someone doing it for 5 minutes, I'll be sure to ask"
You think that's passive aggressive??
Carry on as you are, either she will shine and be promoted out of the way or she will (most likely) work her team too hard and suck their motivation away when she needs it the most.
Your boss knows the score (a rare but good thing) don't challenge her your behaviour should not be guided by or a reaction to her behaviour.
I had a manager who expected 100% when we were being paid. At 5pm he'd stand up and say "Go!!!". He had our backs every day.
When I managed a team, I channelled him. It works. Tolerate no piss taking but treat them as grown ups.
She's shown her colours as a mean girl. She's desperate to be seen to be the 'manager'. You have a track record.
I'd stay very quiet but just give her enough rope. Her team will crack before you do.
Just how loyal is her team going to be if she never gives them any slack? Going behind a colleagues back to her manager is just not on - disgusting behaviour.
Anyway, wherever I've worked, provided essential work was done, there was someone to monitor phones, staff have always been allowed extra time to complete shopping, get away early etc in the week before Christmas.
I know which manager aid prefer to work for!
Nope. She isn't an ass hole op . You've gone too far round.
This one is a cunt and make no mistake.
I've no time for running to management with glory grabbing/trouble making snitching.
And yes I'm looking at you, cunty colleague of mine.
Sorry. Just been shat on royally these last few months. I may have gone unfestively sweary
You are on!!!!
I shall wash my mouth out with soap specially!
Grade A cunt.
My current boss is great, very reasonable and has no issue with flexibility, leaving early for school plays or whatever. But that means that he also gets dedication back - I travel for work sometimes and will frequently be travelling, then working, then prepping, and sleeping for about 4 hours while I'm away. The other night I was working until after 11 to try to get some important work out the door before Christmas, which he was really grateful for. Other days I'm out the door at 4.
You know your team, you know if they are pisstakers or if it all balances out in the end. I suspect the latter.
Definitely a cunt. I had a great manager who used to say "If you've completed your workload for the day and have nothing else to do, go home!" We always had our phones and laptops on at home and would check and respond to emails sometimes around the clock if we were awake, so she knew at least one of her team were always available, and because we liked her we all picked things up when we could and there was no competition.
But because we were technically part of the NHS (we were subcontrated) other managers didn't like her method and she and the team were not very subtly elbowed out. I got a job in another team, who expected us to sit there quietly if there was no work to do, and God forbid we took a long lunch or left early.
It's one thing to get promoted for being good at what you do, it's another to try and ingratiate yourself with senior managers by trying to make other managers at your level look incompetent, particularly if they've been managing successfully for years. A sensible manager would look very unfavourably on someone like that.
Another who had a boss like you and really appreciated her. My mother used to always grumble about the bosses who wanted you to pretend to work if there was no work to be done.
I hope she gets her comeuppance.
Keep up the processional attitude but perhaps respond to her with a raised eyebrow and knowing smile.. and 'discreetly let your team know she grassed you all up...professionally of course
Maybe her team has noticing yours are slacking and its making difficulty for her. I don't think it's unreasonable for her to seek advice from someone higher up as a new manager on how to deal with a situation that could be causing her problems.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.