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Or am I being paranoid? Kind of embarrassingly laughable

(31 Posts)
Evennumberonthevolume Fri 23-Dec-16 20:02:57

Met a guy through old. Had a great first date and we've arranged a second one for after Christmas.

He's put a snapchat up tonight of a dashboard in a car with pink Yankee air fresheners.

I've been cheated on before so I get weary and obviously this man isn't my boyfriend so he can't cheat.

I just don't want to fall for someone who's potentially already seeing someone else.

(Btw I haven't text him to ask who's car it is because I know I'd look like a psycho fwink )

cardibach Fri 23-Dec-16 20:04:03

Sorry, no idea what you are asking.

Scooby20 Fri 23-Dec-16 20:06:53

So you are stressing that a guy who you have been date with is cheating (while admitting he can't actually cheat) because of an air freshener?

Really?

Evennumberonthevolume Fri 23-Dec-16 20:09:03

I think it's just an obvious sign that he's out with a woman

ems137 Fri 23-Dec-16 20:09:05

Oh it's so hard not to be paranoid when you've been cheated on before. You end up looking for signals that you missed in the previous relationship. You have to learn to trust again though or you'll never find happiness x

VeryBitchyRestingFace Fri 23-Dec-16 20:09:30

Why can't the car be his? confused

Lilaclily Fri 23-Dec-16 20:11:03

I think you're over thinking

Candlestickchick Fri 23-Dec-16 20:11:42

In the nicest possible way, because it is understandable given you've been cheated on, I think you are being a little paranoid. It's possible he has a girlfriend but equally possible given the time of year that he is with family and it's his sister or mum's car, or even a friend. Especially if hes got you on snapchat and sent it via there - not being secretive about it.

Scooby20 Fri 23-Dec-16 20:13:21

Not really. It could be his or a male friends car that happened to quote like the smell of the pink air freshener.

Or if you insist on believing it's a woman it could be his sister, plantonic friend, mum, sil etc.

If a pink air freshener is upsetting you, perhaps you aren't quite ready for dating yet. Being cheated on takes some getting over and sometimes takes sometime.

Olives106 Fri 23-Dec-16 20:13:24

I couldn't work out what was worrying you at first - my initial thought was that you were worried he was gay!

Evennumberonthevolume Fri 23-Dec-16 20:15:32

Thank you, definitely not his car as he posted a photo of it as well.

He's very tall and he was making a joke about how he'll fit in a mini

Rixera Fri 23-Dec-16 20:17:19

Not being mean, but I think you could do with a little bit of counselling.
My OH worries about similar things having been cheated on and it gets to the point where I consider leaving if he doesn't get better because it's so exhausting to censor myself at every turn. I had a cup of tea and a cup of coffee over the course of a day, and because I had used two mugs he thought I was cheating on him.
I change the sheets, like I do every week, and some weeks it'll be fine, some he'll think I'm cheating on him.
I put the phone in a high up place to stop the toddler getting it, and he assumes I'm hiding it, therefore I'm cheating on him.

If it weren't for counselling I would have been gone. It's exhausting.

Bluntness100 Fri 23-Dec-16 20:17:32

Whose car was it? Would you rather he had no female friends, no sisters and was now exclusive? If the answer to that is no, then you're being silly.

Evennumberonthevolume Fri 23-Dec-16 20:22:51

No I definitely don't mind him having friends (whatever sex).

I'm just worried I'll fall for someone who might be dating multiple women. I do understand the point that you made though Rixera.

Rainydayspending Fri 23-Dec-16 20:27:01

Here's an idea. Just ask him if he's seeing anyone. Just a "are we on the same page?"

neveradullmoment99 Fri 23-Dec-16 20:32:55

well i guess you cant tell. It could be his sisters car. It could be a friends car. It could be someone in his family. I appreciate it is hard to trust but you are going to have to otherwise this relationship will be a non starter. Just go out with him and take it from there.

happychristmasbum Fri 23-Dec-16 20:33:26

OP this is really odd behaviour.

This is a man you have had one date with and you are talking about "falling for him" and obsessing about whether he is dating other women.

After one date, it is entirely possible he is dating others. Do you usually throw yourself headlong into things so quickly?

It sounds as if you have been hurt and are keen to wash that away by having a successful relationship, and I do sympathise, I really do.

My advice to you is to slow your roll.

Take it slowly. Date him, date others. See men as potential friends rather than "men I might fall for" and see how things develop?

eurochick Fri 23-Dec-16 20:40:22

You've had one date with him! He probably is seeing other people. You need to chill a bit.

Serialweightwatcher Fri 23-Dec-16 20:40:37

Apart from this maybe being a woman's car, I would have thought if your first date was good, he'd make an arrangement to see you over Christmas not after - don't know, it's tricky - maybe just see how it goes

AnnieAnoniMouse Fri 23-Dec-16 20:41:13

Why not ask him whose the mini is that he's worried he won't fit into?!

DonutParade Fri 23-Dec-16 20:49:17

Wow you're over invested after one date. Chill out.

Scooby20 Fri 23-Dec-16 20:53:27

I agree yiu are over thinking this. It's possible he could be dating other people. You have had one date. Even if he is dating someone else (in which case while would he share a photo of their car) he isn't doing anything wrong.

Again it could be just a friends car. Of either sex.

YouJustWouldntLetItLieWouldYa Fri 23-Dec-16 20:54:02

Blimey, better bin the pink, yankee candle I bought as my, candle loving, male friends Christmas pressie then !!

Evennumberonthevolume Fri 23-Dec-16 20:57:58

Apart from this maybe being a woman's car, I would have thought if your first date was good, he'd make an arrangement to see you over Christmas not after - don't know, it's tricky - maybe just see how it goes

I've been away the whole week visiting family. We're spending Christmas Eve and day with our families

TheGruffaloMother Fri 23-Dec-16 21:02:47

I think you need to stay single for a bit to be honest.

You've met him once and are already invested enough that you're thinking the worst having seen the wrong colour air freshener. Surely you see how bad that looks?

Don't inflict yourself on anyone yet. In the kindest possible way, you're not ready.

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