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To be pissed off?

(19 Posts)
Lovelilies Fri 23-Dec-16 16:13:45

Maybe I am.
DP's Mum is ill. Don't know what, she's having tests. His DF is useless and is crap at looking after her.
DP drove them back home (250 miles) the other day and is staying to go to Drs appointments with her. He's supposed to be back tomorrow.
We have 3 DCs who have been taking it in turns to be ill. Latest is 6mo baby with strep throat and DD1 with vomiting/ fever etc.
So I've done all the Christmas prep, food shop with toddler and baby in tow. DD1 and DS argue all the bloody time and are doing my head in.
Now DP thinks it's funny when I ask what time he'll be back tomorrow, telling me not to be arsey. He's like yeah I'll just get them sorted in the morning and head back.
I complained I don't like his attitude, he should be more eager to get back for the kids it's Christmas!
Now he's saying if I'm back I'm back, I'll see how it goes.
I'm livid. AIBU?

LuisSuarezTeeth Fri 23-Dec-16 16:16:44

I doubt that he is having a ball either but it's polite to give you an approximate time.

Lovelilies Fri 23-Dec-16 16:18:34

Yeah, I probably am BU sad
Just fed up of doing everything by myself All the bloody time

FiveGoMadInDorset Fri 23-Dec-16 16:19:07

Yes you are, having ill children sucks, but having an ill parent and not knowing what's wrong with them and knowing the other one won't look after her isn't a bed of roses either

Wolfiefan Fri 23-Dec-16 16:19:25

If he's back? Is he leaving you?
I'm sure you are having a hard time but I doubt he's having much fun either.
He should give you a time he's due back though.

MavisTheTwinklyToreador Fri 23-Dec-16 16:20:51

It's not really his fault if he's having to help out his sick mother.

But it's shit for you, I can see that.

Lovelilies Fri 23-Dec-16 16:21:27

I've tried to be supportive, they don't speak to me though sad
I just feel like he ditches me and the kids as soon as his parents want something.

Deep breaths. ILs! Who'd have them?!

humblesims Fri 23-Dec-16 16:21:55

He's between a rock and a hard place really isnt he. Yes its hard going for you I understand that but its hard for him too isnt it? Lifes like that sometimes.

PberryT Fri 23-Dec-16 16:22:50

Sounds tough for both of you.

He's hardly having a ball whilst away. He should give you an approximate time though.

Bluntness100 Fri 23-Dec-16 16:22:55

He's already told you he will do the appointment then come back, he probably doesn't know how long it will take or what it will entail or what they will find out and then has to drive 250 miles. I think you're being a bit unreasonable here. I get it's Xmas but his mother is ill and it could be serious. I'd cut him some slack, it's not like he said he wouldn't be home for Xmas.

Wolfiefan Fri 23-Dec-16 16:23:10

So the issue is the ILs really? You can't begrudge him spending time with his sick mother though?

Lovelilies Fri 23-Dec-16 16:26:20

He's taking train back (drive their car down) so that would give him a time... appointment is today, not tomorrow.
I understand that it's hard for him, would t begrudge him going down, it's the laughing at me when I was getting annoyed with his 'yeah yeah whatever' attitude.

zizza Fri 23-Dec-16 16:30:38

I'd be annoyed too but as someone who's been married a long time, here's my advice... Don't get arsey with him, it won't achieve anything and won't improve matters. Stay calm and have a discussion about it another time when everything's quietened down. I hope your children get better so you can enjoy Christmas x

MoMandaS Fri 23-Dec-16 16:33:54

YANBU. You deserve his support.

expatinscotland Fri 23-Dec-16 16:56:08


londonmummy1966 Fri 23-Dec-16 18:03:48

I agree with ziza but when he is back you could "pop out" to the shops without your dc and then spend an hour or two enjoying a peaceful cup of coffee. When he calls to ask when you're coming back tell him it'll be as and when you can....

Lovelilies Fri 23-Dec-16 19:06:36

That sounds bliss London!
I think some men (I.e. DP ) just don't get how draining it is looking after all the DCs together day in day out plus all the boring admin and house stuff.
Can't wait to get back to work!

Lovelilies Sun 25-Dec-16 13:27:42

Well he made it back for 7 PM last night. We had a nice evening kids excited.
I've woken with 'thebug'. Temperature, abdo pain, nausea, back ache, sad
So had to go back to bed (first time in years!)
DP is now trying to cook Christmas dinner and stop DD1 and DS kill each other, and look after baby DD2.
I wish I wasn't ill😷 but I'm pleased he's having to step up and do it all! Do feel a little sorry for him though 😬

Gymnopedies Sun 25-Dec-16 13:35:23

Ywnbu to feel annoyed but yabu to feel sorry that he has to take care of his own children (presumably since you are sick he is cooking for himself and the children).

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