There have been a few threads lately that have made me a little uncomfortable.
Comments along the lines of 'being a sahm is a job which you either do well or do badly'
It's the sahp job to make the home nice for the working parent to come home to'
'With one child at home you should be able to do x, y and z'
'Your husband shouldn't have to cook or now the lawn after work'
I am only think they've never met my toddler.
I do work but part time and I've been off ill recently so have been at home.
My toddler can be so demanding. Even when I pop him in his cot to shower he screams the place down. I've no chance of putting on make up or doing my hair. I make the beds, give the two dc breakfast then do the school run. Usually having a fight beforehand to get toddler dressed and coat on.
I get back and try to have a piece of toast while toddler climbs all over me and eats most of my toast, even if I make him his own toast he wants mine.
We then either go out for the morning or I attempt to do a few jobs.
If I try to fold washing he pulls it all over, if I try to hang washing in clothes airer he pulls it all off. If I pop him in his highchair to unload dishwasher and wipe sides he screams blue murder.
If I try to hoover or dust or anything he opens all the drawers and wardrobes and pulls everything out, shoe boxes, pants, socks. He throws all the shoes out of the shoe basket.
The only way to really stop him trashing the house is to play with him to keep him occupied so I do that.
Then I make him some lunch and he has a nap.
I usually sit for a bit and have a drink then start on some jobs. Usually picking up the trail of mess everyone has left for me. Clothes and random crap my husband has strewn about, loading, hanging and folding washing, picking up toys, clearing up after lunch, cleaning the bathroom, the fridge, mop floors. basically whatever needs doing. Sometimes I prepare a meal for later.
Then it's time to wake toddler up and do the school run, toddler usually again screams blue murder at being woken up and we have another fight to get his coat on and get him out. He might do a poo and we will have a fight to do his nappy which might involve us both ending up getting shit on us and changing.
After school I give kids a quick snack then 3 nights a week I'm back out from 4 running around to various after school activities. If not doing that there's homework, reading. books, spellings to learn or an evening meal to cook. Toddler will usually scream while I cook.
Then it's husband home at 6 if we are lucky, eat, clean up again, bath kids, read kids stories, brush teeth, husband needs a good shower after work or a 30 minute soak in the bath and we sit down at 8pm if we are lucky.
Bed at 10 and repeat. Husband usually falls asleep on the sofa at 9 anyway.
So yeah there are nights my husband gets home and the house is a mess, there are nights he gets in and I haven't cooked and we get chips or he makes us an omelette or some freezer food. There are nights I'm so frazzled the last thing on my mind is my husband full stop.
Of course I've tried all the usual tricks putting toddler in front of the tv, ignoring, getting him to 'help'. It doesn't really work. Occasionally we have a great few days and I get on top of it all, but for the most part he's a high demanding toddler.
I feel like I'm spread quite thinly and I can either put my efforts into the dc, or the house, but I can't do it all.
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AIBU?
To not know how anyone gets anything done with a baby/toddler?
72 replies
Zarachristmas · 23/12/2016 10:43
OP posts:
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