Or is this a human rights issue?

[drspouse]

My first day off for Christmas and I've taken the DCs (4 and 2) to soft play.
There is no coffee. At all. Not even filter coffee. I'm having to caffeinate myself with green tea.
I'm not U, am I - what do you reckon, snotty post on their FB page, or straight to my MP?

[Gileswithachainsaw]

What no DM sadface.

Of your gonna be pissed off be pissed off properly ffs

[HerBluebiro]

How's the soft play looking otherwise? Full of teenage hoodlums (children 5 and up) all off school or still toddler friendly?

I have a toddler I need to exercise!

[lifeissweet]

Yes. Definitely a human rights violation.

I think hard drugs is the only way to go.

Soft play the day before Christmas Eve?

You're brave.

[Quaggan]

Log it with 101

[Hellmouth]

No coffee?! Straight to their MP!!!

I'm only half joking :D

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

It's for the best. You don't want to be fully awake and have the reality of soft play in full focus. It's far easier to endure in a semi comatose barely caffeinated state.

[drspouse]

It's mainly preschoolers oddly - our schools finished yesterday or Weds but it's over the border in another LEA and my friend who teaches here finished on Friday.

[GoodyGoodyGumdrops]

No. Self-inflicted.

[AhCheeses]

Chaz speaks wise words. Probably better if you're not fully caffeinated and aware of your surroundings and all the Christmas fuelled children and stressed out parents.
It'll make it easier to erase from your memory later on.

[LeadPipe]

I agree, 101 it must be logged.

How will you survive the hell that is soft play without IV caffeine?!

God I'm so glad that soft play is forever finished in my household.

Hohoho

[Andrewofgg]

Serious national emergency. Call the Army, the Navy, the RAF and the Marines.

Then the Girl Guides who will get it sorted out.

[LeadPipe]

But if she slumps over into a soft coma sans caffeine her children will most definitely commit GBH against a wee toddler and the OP will be to blame. When it wasn't her fault she wasn't supervising her DC - there was no coffee! 🚨

[AhCheeses]

LeadPipe... sound like a perfect excuse to have a cheeky half hour off parenting... anything that the children do is all the fault of the inconsiderate company that didn't provide caffeine. Not OP's fault at all. No court would convict, given that evidence.

[TheProblemOfSusan]

Have you considered getting a takeaway with a coffee in it delivered there? It's the only solution.

Also how the fuck have they only got green tea? Is this like a special organic soft play for naice mummies?

[drspouse]

They have ordinary tea but I don't really like it. It was in a dusty jar behind the counter and the member of staff had to hunt for it.