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Meeting an old teacher for coffee?

(81 Posts)
Flabbyghast Fri 23-Dec-16 10:11:19

Would it be wrong to form a friendship with an old teacher and to meet for coffee?

We met up again at a school reunion last weekend (the first one I've been to ever) and she's given me her phone number. I seriously wouldn't be where I am today if it hadn't been for this woman. I've had no contact with her for 15 years as I moved from that school.

I wouldn't be asking - I totally would go and do it as I associate this woman with safety, security, strength. I bloody love her. I am so grateful she was part of an otherwise shitty childhood. However, my best friend thinks the whole thing is weird. She wanted me to rip up the phone number and says that it's not normal a teacher would give their phone number to an ex-pupil.

I get it's probably not the norm, but there's nothing wrong with it is there? It's coffee between two adults. AIBU to think my best friend is being a bit of a knob over this and needs to butt out?

DaisyDando Fri 23-Dec-16 10:13:12

You are a grown up now. It's not weird.

Heratnumber7 Fri 23-Dec-16 10:13:35

Of course it's not wrong. Why would it be?

Calling her by her first name and not "Miss" is wrong though. Very wrong grin

3penguins Fri 23-Dec-16 10:13:58

I don't think there's a problem 15 years on. She sounds lovely - just ignore your friend and go for a coffee.

HardToDeal Fri 23-Dec-16 10:14:22

I'd say that was fine - I've worked with ex-pupils before and it's not weird!

40somethingwonderful Fri 23-Dec-16 10:15:06

You're both adults. Go for it.

JennyOnAPlate Fri 23-Dec-16 10:15:20

Not weird at all!

midcenturymodern Fri 23-Dec-16 10:15:35

15 years on is not weird. The day you were leaving might be a bit History Boys but you are very much a grown up now.

Quaggan Fri 23-Dec-16 10:17:27

It's been 15years since I was taught by one teacher but he was utterly brilliant and I wouldn't be where I was without him today and I've stayed in contact with him all this time, we used to meet up for tea, but now we live in different countries we write to each other about once a month, he was even at my wedding! Not weird at all, I still call him Mr X though not first name grin

Celticlassie Fri 23-Dec-16 10:19:03

That's not weird at all. I'd go for coffee with an ex pupil (am a teacher). Your friend sounds quite immature.

MeetMeAtMidnight Fri 23-Dec-16 10:19:44

Your friend is weird. It's coffee after 15 years with someone who was a big part of your life and who you describe as a positive influence on you. How lovely that she remembered you and wants to catch up.

ICanCountToOneHundred Fri 23-Dec-16 10:21:31

I am friends with one of my old teachers, she was a lovely supportive teacher and we stayed in touch. i even call her by her first name and everything grin. Go for it! Not odd in any way.

ScarlettDarling Fri 23-Dec-16 10:22:22

Your friend is bizarre...why on earth would it be odd? I'm a primary teacher and one of the girls who was in my first ever class now teaches in my school. We've become good that odd? Sounds like a lovely idea to meet for coffee.

Tenshidarkangel Fri 23-Dec-16 10:28:32

Not weird. Your friend BU.

Your an adult. The rules are in place to protect CHILDREN. Go for it and enjoy it. Think it's probably really rewarding for teachers to see the adults the children they taught have grown into.

BlossomCat Fri 23-Dec-16 10:31:36

Not weird at all. It's lovely that two grown adults can be friends. It's your friend that has the weird attitude.

Ditsyprint40 Fri 23-Dec-16 10:33:17

Definitely go! I've got the email address of one who meant a lot to me, and I've always wanted to drop her an email, but feel silly!

Bumbleclat Fri 23-Dec-16 10:34:32

I collect mentors because my mum was unable to be a mother in the traditional sense of the word. I have many amazing older women in my life who have become friends and helped me immeasurably.
Go for it..

Namechangebitch Fri 23-Dec-16 10:34:40

I am a teacher and I have remained in contact with some students.

After several years two have become family friends, the know my kids we visit each others houses.

I am VERY careful how I do this and who I do it with. However, I very much value these friendships, they feel like extra children.

exexpat Fri 23-Dec-16 10:36:39

My mother is a retired teacher and she has stayed in touch with a number of former pupils for decades - even had them to stay etc.

Nothing at all weird about it.

pasturesgreen Fri 23-Dec-16 10:37:07

Not weird at all. Your friend is being odd about it.

I had lunch with one of my former teachers not long ago, and remained in contact with a few more. I'd say it's perfectly reasonable.

SirChenjin Fri 23-Dec-16 10:39:11

Not weird at all - go and have a lovely time (and tell your friend to shh)

DownAmongtheElves Fri 23-Dec-16 10:39:17

It's a lovely idea. Those of us who teach really get a blast out of hearing from ex-students, particularly if our teaching helped them. Go to coffee with her, & make sure the treats are on you! It's a really kind & lovely idea.

Wellitwouldbenice Fri 23-Dec-16 10:40:59

2 adults meeting for coffee. Someone phone the police. And social services.

SantasJockstrap Fri 23-Dec-16 10:41:33

You are not being unreasonable

Cariadity Fri 23-Dec-16 10:41:38

I'm a teacher and I now work in my old secondary school. I have tea with my old teachers everyday and it was a little weird to begin with but now I'm treated as an equal since I'm a professional in my own right. I haven't been teaching long enough for any of my pupils to have "grown up" yet but I'd love to know how they turn out.

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