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To still be upset with this vile comment?

(54 Posts)
ilovewelshrarebit123 Thu 22-Dec-16 23:18:35

I work in customer services for a well known retailer.

A customer called today ten minutes before my shift finished. He wanted an argument from the beginning, and was utterly vile and I was literally shaking in my seat.

He wanted a question answering that I couldn't possibly answer without speaking to the store.

I told him I'd get the answer tomorrow and he wouldn't accept it. This question was the most ridiculous question I've ever heard and didn't need an immediate answer.

20 minutes later we were no further forward as everything I said he would just not accept. In the time we spent on the call I could have called the store! He also picked me apart. I was stupid, uneducated, a little girl ( I'm in my 40's)!

I'm an experienced advisor, never get rattled but he was something else.

I ended our call when he actually said this to me 'I think you must be retarded as you're not understanding me' 'are you retarded, you aren't you' shock I'm just so shocked that an adult can say something so offensive to someone they don't know, and who actually uses that word anymore, it's so nasty.

I know it's trivial, and I should just forget it but I'm beating myself up now wondering if I could have had handled him differently.

I do feel better for a rant though!

AlmaMartyr Thu 22-Dec-16 23:22:28

Oh I'm so sorry. People are so horrendous to people in customer facing roles, it's really nasty. I would be rattled too.

I doubt you could have handled him differently to make it better - I know exactly what you mean when you say he wanted an argument, some people just do and there isn't much you can do about it.

flowers brew

HerBluebiro Thu 22-Dec-16 23:25:16

People are twats sometimes.

It is strange when our safe bubbles get pierced by the that's


You had him for 20 minutes. Imagine what it is like to be him. To aggravate everyone you meet. To have waiters spit in your food.

That's no way to live

You get to go home and continue being brilliant. Do that.

YouOKHun Thu 22-Dec-16 23:25:20

Horrible for you but what it tells me is that he's a sad little man who doesn't have a voice so has to attack strangers - pathetic. People who treat others like this are usually very unhappy people. Don't beat yourself up, it sounds like there's nothing you could have said or done to make him respond any differently. Put it to one side and enjoy your Christmas!

Cherrysoup Thu 22-Dec-16 23:25:47

If this ever happens again, God forbid, tell the customer you will be putting down the phone due to his extreme rudeness. Don't tolerate people speaking to you in this way, they have NO right. What a wanker.

HerBluebiro Thu 22-Dec-16 23:26:30

*before I offend waiters. I know you can't do that. Not even to twats.

I did though. Once.

Astro55 Thu 22-Dec-16 23:27:31

He was probably annoyed you didn't bite back to give cause for dither comaint/free stuff -

Logg it with a manager so you can flag up the call should he take things further

Patriciathestripper1 Thu 22-Dec-16 23:31:28

Yes you could have handled it differently, you could have asked him politely to put his question in Writing to the store as you do not have to listen to his offensive language and bloody well hung up on the prick.

Scrumptiousbears Thu 22-Dec-16 23:32:49

I used to work in customer service my lights were being told "I hope you get raped" and " I hope you never have children and if you do I hope they die". I worked for a mobile telephone company. smile

Scrumptiousbears Thu 22-Dec-16 23:33:12


abigamarone Thu 22-Dec-16 23:33:24

To be honest, you say you ended the call when he asked if you were retarded. Why didn't you end it when he started calling you stupid and uneducated?

queenbeeee Thu 22-Dec-16 23:34:24

If you ever find yourself in that situation again I would tell the person that " I understand you are angry and I apologize for the inconvenience however I think you are being very rude, abusive and aggressive. And for that reason I am going to end this call. I would be happy to help with your situation and would advise you call back when you calm down. Thankyou for calling good bye. Dont stand for it

Prawnofthepatriarchy Thu 22-Dec-16 23:36:52

People like him are scum. Being rude to anyone who can't argue back because it's their job to deal with you is very, very downmarket. Only seriously nasty people do it. Brush off the memory. He doesn't deserve space in your head. Smile. Put your shoulders back. Think of the nicest thing someone has said to you lately. You're far better than

ilovewelshrarebit123 Thu 22-Dec-16 23:37:21

I've been called stupid lots of times, some people think customer services are stupid so I ignore that.

But retarded is beyond offensive and I won't take that!

Longdistance Thu 22-Dec-16 23:37:58

Did you get his address?

Send him a nice steaming turd for Christmas 😬

He's a nasty cunt. I've worked in customer services for many 24 years. Never have I ever come across anything so vile angry

Massive unmumsnetty hug for you flowers

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Dec-16 23:39:27

I know it's easier said than done but you need to put him right out of your mind, because he's really not worth another thought.

You're sitting here beating yourself up about it and yet the one thing you can guarantee is that he is certainly not doing the same.

In fact he's probably completely forgotten the whole phone call by now.

I want you to follow these instructions right now OP fgrin


Raise your right hand
Fold your thumb down
Fold your index finger down
Fold your ring finger down
Fold your pinky down

Extend the one remaining finger as far as possible and repeat after me...

"Fuck you, you snivelling little wank stain. You have all the charm and personality of a used condom. Oh and by the way, even your goldfish hates you".

justdontevenfuckingstart Thu 22-Dec-16 23:41:19

I've had it for over twenty years. I was actually shaking with anger (not mn shaking) a few months ago when I was told I was totally disgusting and an absolute disgrace. ok thanks. I go super nice when faced with challenging people.

Wotshudwehave4T Thu 22-Dec-16 23:41:57

Oh poor you! Sounds like nothing would have satisfied, something else in his life is bugging him and he took it out on you, so you could never solve the query. Are you allowed to say you will terminate the call as you have a no abuse policy? Pass him to supervisor? say all calls are recorded and as you haven't helped him, a colleague will listen to the recording and ring him back to save his time/phone bill (hopefully he'd hang up then or agree) - think of him for the last time as you spit your toothpaste out and rinse it down the sink when you go to bed

Awwlookatmybabyspider Thu 22-Dec-16 23:44:54

He wouldn't have been so fucking "brave" if youd have a been a burly 6ft tall guy.
Did your manager or colleagues not come over to help you. I'd expect my manager to. If I was getting abuse. No one gets paid enough for that.

RhodaBorrocks Thu 22-Dec-16 23:46:16

Sounds like my uncle. All women he disagrees with are stupid, uneducated little girls, including me, who is actually the first (person, not woman) in our family to complete university, not once, but 3 times. We all hate him and think he's a mean, vindictive, racist, xenophobic, misogynistic twatwaffle who would make his parents turn in their graces.

Even if it wasn't actually him, be assured that his family probably hate his guts for the same reasons.

Try not to dwell on it, no matter what he said, you behaved impeccably and didn't rise to it. flowers

Awwlookatmybabyspider Thu 22-Dec-16 23:46:54

Think of him shitting oneself when Hes confronted by a bloke. You'd soon see how big he is hmm

SantasJockstrap Thu 22-Dec-16 23:49:05

ahh don't overthink it OP

The sad truth is some people are just tossers.

Theres no rhyme or reason to them, they are just complete wastes of skin.

In future don't let it go that far, put the phone down earlier, you don't get paid to put up with shit

Ginosaji Thu 22-Dec-16 23:49:50

Was this guy my bil?? Sounds exactly the sort of things he would (and has) said! We are nc now, but years ago i was round his house when he rang sky to complain because he had been cut off, and he gave the poor sky person such verbal abuse i felt so embarrassed even tho they sky person couldn't see me

Ginosaji Thu 22-Dec-16 23:51:02


Debinaround Thu 22-Dec-16 23:52:03

I blame Christmas, it brings the bellends out. <true fact> grin

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