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to not want my sister to visit

(18 Posts)
qwertyuiopasdfghjkl Thu 22-Dec-16 21:59:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crispbutty Thu 22-Dec-16 22:00:18

Have you suggested that to her? It seems a sensible precaution.

qwertyuiopasdfghjkl Thu 22-Dec-16 22:01:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harderandharder2breathe Thu 22-Dec-16 23:16:26

Is she taking the 10 year old? What does frail granny say about it?

qwertyuiopasdfghjkl Fri 23-Dec-16 07:28:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pklme Fri 23-Dec-16 07:30:07

Will granny enjoy the visit? To be honest, it is hard to stay away from colds, anyone could visit granny and pass on a cold. Does she have a carer?

qwertyuiopasdfghjkl Fri 23-Dec-16 07:33:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pklme Fri 23-Dec-16 20:50:34

There is a quality of life issue, too though. No point in avoiding everything which might make you poorly, and missing out all the fun, too.

glitterandtinsel Fri 23-Dec-16 21:15:18

Up to Granny really.

glitterandtinsel Fri 23-Dec-16 21:16:53

Oh I see, sorry I've only just read she has dementia. Sorry.

abbsisspartacus Fri 23-Dec-16 21:17:09

Granny has dementia tinsel she might not be a good judge of what's best for her

glitterandtinsel Fri 23-Dec-16 21:18:15

What about those face masks they wear in Asia? For the little girl with a cold.

qwertyuiopasdfghjkl Fri 23-Dec-16 21:21:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheHouseOfIllRepute Fri 23-Dec-16 21:23:10

If she has carers she will be exposed to every germ going

BarbarianMum Fri 23-Dec-16 21:26:49

My dad has early stage dementia. He copes by trying to make the most of life - seeing more of family esp grandkids, spending the winter in Spain, not sticking to his diet etc. He has chosen quality of life over quantity of life. Maybe your Granny has done the same - I know I would.

pklme Sat 24-Dec-16 20:57:14

YY barbarian.

Chapter34 Sun 25-Dec-16 02:51:14

This polarises opinion. Some say protection from all physical risks is priority. Others say human contact and quality of a life is more important than preserving a half life.

Neither is totally unreasonable - it is a clash of values. Ultimately it is up to granny, or in this case, whoever is her primary carer.

So unless you're her primary carer YABU, and should try to let go of some of your anxiety around Granny's health and enjoy your time with her.

WiddlinDiddlin Sun 25-Dec-16 03:00:25

Tough call - if Granny is scared of getting ill and all that entails then sister is BU.

If Granny isnt really aware of the risks but would be upset and not understand why no visit over Christmas, then no, she's not BU.

My Dad (who doesn't have dementia but is old and has poor health) would cancel Christmas at his house or banish anyone ill, he is terrified of chest infections and it knocks him back for weeks if he catches something.

I am the same, i have heart failure, and whilst missing christmas dinner sucks, being ill for six weeks because of a visit from someone with a lurgy sucks a LOT more - but im 36 i hopefully have a few more christmasses left!

Has to be down to those who know Granny best and that may not be you or your sister, its most likely to be those who do the bulk of her care and spend the most time with her.

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