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To throttle DH over his stupid questions?

(91 Posts)
HalloweenBabyDaemon Thu 22-Dec-16 18:48:44

I can think of at least a hundred different ways to kill him actually but they wouldn't fit in the subject.

He will ask me where something is in the fridge/cupboard the second he opens it. No, the milisecond.

He will ask me where his keys are. Which he has just used to open the bloody door ffs.

He will ask me where something belonging to him and used only by him is. The second he starts thinking about needing it.

Etc.

It makes me furious. When I need something I have the decency to really look in every possible (and impossible) place before asking him the question (and in 99% of cases his answer will be 'I don't know'). Or I will ask if I know he moved it (and couldn't be arsed to put back in place). He will still answer 'I don't know'.

So that's it really. I kind of run out of innovative answers. I used the 'no idea', 'wherever you put it', 'I'm not your nanny/babysitter/mother/carer', some less kind too. I am looking for inspiration. I've given up hope of him changing so at least I want to have fun with it/not see red every time.

unlessyousay Thu 22-Dec-16 18:49:39

I hear you!

whyohwhy000 Thu 22-Dec-16 18:53:07

Shut his head in the fridge door. I remember seeing adverts years ago about children getting stuck in fridges - so since he's acting like one...

TeenageCentaurMortificado Thu 22-Dec-16 18:53:33

Exh did this. My ds tries this and I absolutely refuse to assist until he has done a thorough logical look rather than a 'man look'

I divorced rather than resorting to murder but it was close grin

RoseValleyRambles Thu 22-Dec-16 18:55:33

First star on the right and straight on till morning.
Through the wardrobe, by the lamppost.
Down the rabbit hole.

unlessyousay Thu 22-Dec-16 18:56:15

O God teenage, it passes down from father to son? Say it isn't so! fgrin

TheSparrowhawk Thu 22-Dec-16 18:57:22

Just say 'I don't know' every time. Surely he'll give up?

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 22-Dec-16 18:57:34

I am your DH in my house. DH calls it 'Terry Looking' and has a song and a little dance that he does. It has shamed me into looking a bit more carefully. blush

JeNeBaguetteRien Thu 22-Dec-16 18:59:25

DH does this a lot less since I explained calmly how much it pissed me off that he acted like it was my responsibility to find everything. I told him I'd answer a stupid question with a stupid answer. "Where's my wallet?" "Oh it's in the bin/down the loo/I burnt it. Or you could try your jacket pocket." Sometimes he starts a question and then stops and mutters to himself and goes to find it. Also I let him off with it sometimes because I'm not perfect either!

fuzzywuzzy Thu 22-Dec-16 19:01:16

I'd reply oh I dunno each and every time in fact I'd say it as he approached cupboards/leaving the house/whatever.

There's a YouTube video of a woman really fed up of her husband asking where his wallet is all the time and by the time she makes the YouTube video she cuts up the precious wallet and gives it to him telling him here's your wallet, now we both know where your wallet is.
Not suggesting you wreck his belongings but I can understand the frustration turned fury.

basketofironing Thu 22-Dec-16 19:02:08

Ha. This drives me mad. Man looking angry. It's always in the first place I suggest after I have looked properly. I suggest he gives me money every time I find something that he supposedly can't.

Though I am guilty of being too lazy to look for something I need. I tend to ask where something is before even looking. So I can't really talk.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Thu 22-Dec-16 19:03:07

This is one of the reasons I left my exH.

He couldn't look for anything. Even when stuff was under his nose he'd still ask where it was.

It was exhausting.

MerryMarigold Thu 22-Dec-16 19:03:14

In our family we say, Stop looking with your geiger counter! grin

You could also say (if you're irritated):
I THINK I last saw it [dramatic pause] in the bathroom [hesitate a bit] down the toilet.
What is it about my face that makes you think I care?

Or, if you're in a more fun mood, just send him to made up places every time:
It may be in that drawer where we keep the batteries
I think I saw it on the shelf in the spare room
I swear I saw it on the floor under the kids' bed last week
Could it be in the bathroom cabinet?
How about trying the garage on top of the washing machine?

etc. etc. He'll soon stop when he runs all over the house looking in mystery places!

MissCalamity Thu 22-Dec-16 19:05:19

Oh my God, this is my dp. DS is starting to do this as well now, give me strength!! fgrin

CheshireDing Thu 22-Dec-16 19:05:24

I have this from DH. I don't even respond now, it has definitely lessened the stupid questions.

HalloweenBabyDaemon Thu 22-Dec-16 19:07:01

Rose grin Can't wait to use that!
Sparrow and MrsTerry he doesn't feel that he's doing anything wrong so no hope for a change...

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Thu 22-Dec-16 19:09:23

Mine isn't necessarily the looking. It's the 'it should be.....'. Well thanks dear. I know it 'should', but it isn't - hence why I am asking.

He did a fabulous mansplain to me earlier and I wanted to tear his head off. I told him my phone is fucked and won't charge. I tell him I've tried two different cables so not that. So he goes and has a look, plugs it into another cable and tells me it's not dead, because when he plugged it in, it flashed up with the battery symbol.

Ah how helpful. I fucking know that, it's been charging for three hours and doing the same thing for me.

I am in a rage anyway. But this didn't help.

timeisnotaline Thu 22-Dec-16 19:10:58

I like marigolds plan - it was on that shelf in the shed! In the loft in the 2nd box on the right . But honestly I'd just shoot him.

Sunflower1985 Thu 22-Dec-16 19:11:19

My DH asks me where something is.
Goes to look then says he can't find it. I have to get up, go and look where I just said and then it's magically there. This happened twice this week. Both times they've bee right bloody there!

HalloweenBabyDaemon Thu 22-Dec-16 19:13:42

Merry thanks for the suggestion, I'll do that!

Imavinoops Thu 22-Dec-16 19:15:42

DP asks me the same sort of rubbish in exactly the same manner.

Usually tell him I threw it away and see how long it takes for him to catch on. At first he used to believe me. grin

It feels like the same sort of response DS gets when he lightly bumps his toes or something and comes over screeching and preparing himself for death. "I'll have to chop it off then."

Shuts them both up and causes a smile (most of the time!)

Either that or I'm just miserable.
Which is highly likely. wink

HalloweenBabyDaemon Thu 22-Dec-16 19:15:54

Sunflower yes it happens here too!!! Yet if I plainly refuse to leave the couch to find his stuff I am called unhelpful!angry

HardcoreLadyType Thu 22-Dec-16 19:16:51

If DH asks me where something is, I say, "lost!".

We used to have a secretary in our business, who would say scathingly, "did you have a look, or a MrHardcore look?"

Whatever, you say, just don't do it for him. He's a grownup, and can do his own looking.

luckylucky24 Thu 22-Dec-16 19:18:53

I started a thread about this last week grin

It frustrates me so much!

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Thu 22-Dec-16 19:19:16

Why not do the old "here it is ........ n't"

I learnt that one from Mumsnet it's brilliant. You see their eyes light up for a millisecond before the devastation and annoyance sets in

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