To think this was a weird question, and a bit racist?

[Nameforsaken]

Mil lives in a city, I live in a small village with nearest city a good 60miles away.

We were visiting and we were watching citizen kahn, my ds thinks it's hillarious!

Mil sat next to me and asked if we had any of them near us, gesturing to the telly. I kind of looked at her, knowing what she meant and just played dumb saying any of who? She tutted and changed subject.

It has made me think that maybe she's racist? It's made me dislike her a bit more but am i over thinking it? Why ask such a random question, and does it really matter?

[KingJoffreysRestingCuntface]

I've not seen Citizen Kahn, what's it about?

I'm guessing some kind of forriner?

[SquirmOfEels]

I'd see it just as an enquiry.

I live in a highly diverse city, but in practice there are different communities in different areas. And I happen not to be particularly near areas with a community that matches that of Sparkhill.

So I'd simply say 'no'. Straightforward descriptive answer.

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

Yes, use of the phrase "any of them" is racist.

[Nameforsaken]

It's a comedy about a muslim family living in uk.

Thanks I couldn't work out where she was going with it, and why mattered.

[KathArtic]

She probably is racist but is from THAT generation.

[Kel1234]

I think that programme is hilarious. However I do think it's wrong to refer to anyone - regardless of race or ethnic background as "any of them". Does it matter if you do or you don't?

[Nameforsaken]

That's what I thought bibbity the use of that phrase made me uncomfortable.

[MissDreanor90]

I don't see it as racist, just a question ?

I think your attitude is rude, you should have just asked what she meant! Not play dumb

[Wonderflonium]

Yeah, a bit racist but not beyond rehabilitation. You handled it beautifully, by the way.

[Nameforsaken]

Exactly kel why does it matter who lives in my village or area?
She's 70, so from that generation

[CockacidalManiac]

Yeah, pretty racist. Unless by 'them' she meant brummies.

[PavlovianLunge]

You might well be right, and it's an weird thing to say, but I'd have thought that if she was racist, she'd have said plenty of other things over the years to have confirmed your suspicions.

[ghostyslovesheets]

'Any of them' smacks of racism to me - and age has nowt to do with it my mum is 70 and not racist in the slightest

[Nameforsaken]

I wasn't expecting the question miss and thought it was a bit rude to ask it

[Nameforsaken]

Fil has pav but in that subtle, generational way were there's no hate involved.

[PavlovianLunge]

On reflection, the use of 'them' does have a whiff of racism about it, it's very othering.

[Nameforsaken]

Yes ghosty age shouldn't be an excuse.
They do they same about gay/lesbian too. You know not hate, bit they'll let you know if someone, such as their friend's dd who I've mever met, is gay. Which I don't really need to know

[Nameforsaken]

I don't like confrontation navy I wanted to switch subject as I didn't want to answer her question

[dollydaydream114]

Yes, I think there's a pretty clear subtext in 'any of them' and also in her refusal to elaborate when you asked her what she meant.

While I do get that there can be a generational aspect to remarks like that, I don't think people should use it as an excuse. My parents are in their 70s and they wouldn't dream of asking a question like that - certainly not in that way, anyway.

[SapphireStrange]

It was clearly a racist question. And she clearly didn't want to expand on what she meant by 'them' because she knew that what she would have said would have got a negative response from the OP.

Generation is not an excuse, either.

[hoddtastic]

they/them is usually used perjoratively - it's seldom neutral.

[nell15]

That generation - what you mean -old ?