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To just not understand why he lied?

(7 Posts)
Rinmybell Wed 21-Dec-16 14:11:19

A few weeks ago DP went out for a colleagues birthday and got very drunk and got a cab home at very early hours. We obviously had the usual talk of how the night was etc down to even what he ate and he told me he went back to a male friends from work for more drinks with the rest of his team.
He then slept in very late and I received a Facebook message from a female colleague saying that she had found his card in her living room and she could drop it round as she was passing this way.
We weren't in when she came so she just posted it through the letterbox.
I asked him why he had lied about who's house he went back too, and he told me because he thought i would be annoyed. I let it go.
I know and like this female colleague and have never had an issue with him socialising with her.
A few weeks on it's really bothering me. Do I dig further? I just don't understand why he lied if it was innocent?

NapQueen Wed 21-Dec-16 14:16:12

Does she live alone?

I'd be fucking livid about the lie. However I really wouldn't be happy about him sleeping over there alone when they were both drunk. Did he go back alone with her?

indoorfleece Wed 21-Dec-16 14:21:08

Hmm difficult one, I can sympathise as I'm someone who dwells on things like this too. I usually end up bringing them up as I don't see why I shouldn't if I'm worried, however, it usually doesn't help. The reason I say that is because unless he admits something happened there's a danger you won't feel like you've been told everything (even if nothing happened). Saying that, if you think you might find it reassuring bring it up. Has anything happened before or since that concerns you? That's probably a better indicator. Also, how did this friend contact you about the card? If something untoward had happened she probably wouldn't have been so brazen

Rinmybell Wed 21-Dec-16 14:35:39

I believe him that the rest of his team went back to hers also, as a few of them live in the same apartment block right by where they work and also where they had been out that night, but I don't want too ask any of them as it may seem odd and prying.
Her message made it seem like I knew he had been at hers, so it wasn't like she was covering it up.

Rinmybell Wed 21-Dec-16 14:37:42

Nothing like this has happened before involving work. However a few years ago whilst I was working away him and his friends had female company over and it wasn't totally innocent.
Obviously at the time was dreadful and caused a huge rift between us however like I said this was years ago and has been left in the past.

Bluntness100 Wed 21-Dec-16 14:40:23

She clearly isn't trying to hide anything as she posted in face book, and she knows he's married and knows you, so I wouldn't be concerned. I'd want to know why he was a twat that lied though, he obviously thought you'd react very negatively so took this option, so I'd discuss it with him why he feels that way.

Nabootique Wed 21-Dec-16 15:01:33

Why did she message you to say that he'd left his card and not him?

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