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AIBU?

How can I get through visit with smelly relatives?

74 replies

Prompto · 21/12/2016 11:36

Some of DH's family are coming to visit for the day tomorrow, arriving shortly after breakfast and staying until after dinner. They absolutely adore the DC (even if they're not the most tolerant when it comes to the quirks and noise of young children) and I know they're really looking forward to their visit but - and I feel so mean/bitchy for saying this - they stink.

They chain-smoke and they don't wash often enough so it's a horrible mingled smell of fags, bad breath and stale BO. They're not elderly or incapacitated in anyway, they simply don't seem to notice or mind that they smell. DH won't say anything because he says they'd be mortified and then he'd feel bad and I would too, plus how awkward would the day then be?

Usually I can tolerate it but this is a longer visit than normal. To complicate it further I'm pregnant and have HG so my sense of smell is off the charts and any strong whiff sets me off vomiting. How am I going to get through this visit?

OP posts:
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3penguins · 21/12/2016 11:42

You have my sympathies.

When DC were little they used to stick ginger nuts up their nose when a particular relative visited

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Prompto · 21/12/2016 11:45

I suppose it would give me an excuse to leave "just popping to the walk-in to get these biscuits removed!" Grin

OP posts:
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Gardencentregroupie · 21/12/2016 11:45

Oh crikey. If you really truly can't get out of it then feign a hideous cold and have tissues slathered in vicks in your hands at all times. The menthol smell cuts through almost everything. Maybe make copious pots of fresh mint tea as well, so you can inhale the lovely minty smell. (Just mint leaves in hot water).

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Maudlinmaud · 21/12/2016 11:46

I wouldn't be brave enough to mention it as I don't like to offend. Maybe light some smelly candles to cover the stink.

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OSETmum · 21/12/2016 11:46

A strong air freshener/ scented candle? Or would that make you sick too, since it's still a strong smell? Have as many windows/ doors open as possible. Fake a cold that means you need to sniff a tissue full of olbas oil?

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smEGGnogg · 21/12/2016 11:47

My mum used to work for the dwp and she'd spray the smelly ones with febreeze under the desk. Stealth freshening she called it and took it as a challenge Grin

How about some christmassy Candles? I have a Woodwick pine one that is quite strong. Just burn them all day. And try not to sit next to a stinker.

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adagio · 21/12/2016 11:48

How about you accidentally tip a large jug of something over them- e.g. Case of water, jug of squash. Then helpfully offer to wash and dry everything and lend them some clean clothes (if necessary, pop to supermarket to buy cheap appropriate stuff ready!!)

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adagio · 21/12/2016 11:48

Vase not case

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CoraPirbright · 21/12/2016 11:48

Can you say that the children need to have a run around in the park to expend some energy so you spend at least some time in the fresh air? Other than that, discreet cotton wool balls up the nose? Revolting really. Why the bloody hell cant they wash? Is there another relative you could enlist to tell them?

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Gardencentregroupie · 21/12/2016 11:49

A Price's Open Window candle (or 10) is very good for neutralizing smells

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wigglybeezer · 21/12/2016 11:50

I think people who work in smelly environments put a dab of vicks under their nose to mask the smell, I've heard nurses talk about this and remembered it in case I ever need it.

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Artandco · 21/12/2016 11:52

Hmm, not sure. Can you spend as much of the day as possible outside?

Leave windows open?

Light candles?

Can you lie and blame children for something? If small enough I would call or text today or email if they likely to read and kindly say ' just a quick request, child number 2 has recently been diagnosed as allergic to several things, the main two are cigarette smoke and lemons ( or something random', would you mind trying to make sure your clothes are completely smoke free as possible as they love cuddles and just checking you didn't plan to bring lemon desert. Thanks ever so much, it would be a pain having to go to a and e this close to xmas'

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UterusUterusGhali · 21/12/2016 11:52

Ppm window candles are BOGOF in waitrose at the mo.

Urgh I do feel for you.

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xStefx · 21/12/2016 11:53

OK, Throw for the sofa they will be sitting on that you can pop in the wash

Lemon incense around the house so your HG doesn't flare up at the smell

Ive had HG twice, its god awful and I can understand that as a trigger
Good luck OP xx

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KayTee87 · 21/12/2016 11:54

Could you blame your pregnancy and say the smell of stale smoke makes you sick and you're really sorry but you'll have to sit in another room?
Surely as smokers they will know they at least smell of smoke.

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UterusUterusGhali · 21/12/2016 11:55

Actually, if you do have HG just cancel. There's no way you can host. Or go to bed all day.

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yorkshapudding · 21/12/2016 11:55

When I was a Nurse I used to dab a bit of tiger-balm under my nose before dealing with any (usually through no fault of their own) smelly individuals. The only problem is it makes you look like you've got a permanently snotty nose Grin

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Mysterycat23 · 21/12/2016 11:56

Grim. You have my sympathy OP. The only thing that worked for me with the pregnancy induced intense sense of smell/vomiting combo was hiding in the bedroom, desperately breathing with a clean sheet over my face if it got really bad. Pretty sure due to pregnancy you are fine to hide in a separate room rather than end up vomiting. Just say hi and disappear, DH can explain how sick you are.

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wigglybeezer · 21/12/2016 12:02

if you put some Lenor unstoppables in a cupcake case on top of a radiator it makes your house smell of clean laundry, that might mask things a bit.

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AMillionMilesFromThere · 21/12/2016 12:02

Op, you have my sympathies.

I am also pregnant and suffering with severe sickness and nausea. The other day I went to get my eyebrows threaded and the woman had been eating her lunch. She just put her wrap down and came over without washing her hands. Envy

I had to stop her midway, almost gagging on my words, and ask her to wash her mouth and hands. When I checked in the mirror, there was a tiny piece of pepper on my face !

definitely won't be going back , disgusting woman.

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ChristmasTreeKisses · 21/12/2016 12:06

I second Wiggly a dab of Vicks under the nose and repeat as necessary. You can just say you feel like you are coming down with a cold if asked.

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BluePancakes · 21/12/2016 12:06

When I had HG, there's no way I could have been around smells like that for so long; so I'd vote for cancelling. If you feel you absolutely cannot do that, then get the visit shortened to lunch at the latest, and spend most of that time away from them.

Hope you are able to enjoy Christmas despite having HG. It's not something I'd wish on my worst enemy.

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Tabbylady · 21/12/2016 12:11

Gardencentregroupie yeees the vicks thing. I work with some very smelly clients (no fault of their own) and when getting up-close I tend to put it right up my nose before I see them - a dob on the pinky and then smear the inside of the nostrils. It makes your face sting for a minute but then you literally can't smell anything but vicks.

If you have HG and vicks sets you off though, then sorry I can't help!!

I do the lenor thing wigglybeezer suggested to un-smellify the office as well and it's very effective.

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Mindtrope · 21/12/2016 12:14

I would arrange to meet somewhere- go out for lunch. At least you wil;l be in a bigger room where the smell will be diluted, and they are not guffing up your home.

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YelloDraw · 21/12/2016 12:19

Say you've got a cold and hold olbas oil dabbed tissues to your nose the whole time?

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