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To be so upset with boyfriend

(133 Posts)
TheQueenOfItAll Tue 20-Dec-16 21:36:46

So, three years ago I moved abroad to be with my boyfriend, have been going to language classes and doing quite well - have skipped a few grades and am not in one of the final years.

However, I never practice said language, I work in English, have English friends and everybody seems to want to practice thier own English or imitate my accent when I'm around! So today at my class I (embarrassingly) got very upset because my teacher basically said that my vocab, reading and writing were very good but my speaking is utter crap (she said it in a nicer way)

I text boyfriend during my break and tell him I got upset during class and asked if we can switch our main language to his mother tongue (so no actual effort to be made on his part).

I get home and tell him in person how upset I am with myself for not knowing the language better. He then turns to be and says
"you're hopeless, and can't be helped so there is no point practicing with you, a r*** could have learned it faster."

I ask him again because, WTF and he again reiterates that he won't help me and that it's not his fault that my language skills are so bad. (we have had the "switch-over" talk quite a few times)

AIBU to think your fucking partner should help you with something he is clearly able to help with?

Spottytop1 Tue 20-Dec-16 21:39:28

I'd pack my bags and leave ... how dare he speak to you like that & how dare he use the r word.

Aderyn2016 Tue 20-Dec-16 21:40:03

Time to leave the nasty bastard and get a new boyfriend or come home.
You have moved to live in his country and he can't even be arsed to help you with the language. He doesn't deserve you. Honestly lovely, get rid. You can do better than him flowers

Candlestickchick Tue 20-Dec-16 21:42:48

What's a r***?

Anyway YANBU at all. You've moved abroad to be with him and are trying to learn the language. A bit more fucking support wouldn't go amiss.

DeleteOrDecay Tue 20-Dec-16 21:43:33

This reminds me of that old adage: "when a man tells you who they are, listen to them" or something to that effect. He's showing you his true colours.

Your boyfriend sounds horrible op, I'm sorrysad

Sybys Tue 20-Dec-16 21:43:46

Wow, he sounds a complete ass.

Learning a new language is something some people (myself included) find very difficult. It sounds like you've been giving it a really good do and doing pretty well. Incredibly shit that he won't support you, particularly given that he is one of the reasons that you are leaning in the first place. I'd be livid.

Curious to know what the censored word is. 6 letters?

Foxysoxy01 Tue 20-Dec-16 21:43:52

Pack your bags and leave!!

What a horrible way to be spoken to and by the one person supposed to love you the most. You deserve better.

ClopySow Tue 20-Dec-16 21:45:11

He sounds shit.

What is the r word

MrsExpo Tue 20-Dec-16 21:45:18

Just come home. Sounds like an arrogant dick to me. You can do better than that.

Empress13 Tue 20-Dec-16 21:49:57

What bloody language you learning ?

Cheeky beggar doesn't deserve you. Pack your bags girlfriend and come back home where you can swear yourself in your own language !

I too am struggling with what the R word is ??

arethereanyleftatall Tue 20-Dec-16 21:50:33

Look. My dh and I would never speak to each other like that. Never Ever. It just isn't acceptable.
It says volumes about what he thinks of you, ergo this isn't a relationship I'd be persuing. Yanbu.

JamesStPatrick Tue 20-Dec-16 21:51:49

He sounds horrible!! This requires zero effort on his part. How dare he speak to you like this!

scottishdiem Tue 20-Dec-16 21:52:18

""you're hopeless, and can't be helped so there is no point practicing with you, a r* could have learned it faster.""

This basically means he doesnt actually like you anymore.

Oysterbabe Tue 20-Dec-16 21:52:38


PotteringAlong Tue 20-Dec-16 21:53:30

I'm going to guess at retard.

I'd be rethinking my relationship here.

rollonthesummer Tue 20-Dec-16 21:53:40


AnyFucker Tue 20-Dec-16 21:55:58

How else does he demonstrate his contempt for you ?

harderandharder2breathe Tue 20-Dec-16 21:57:03

He's a twat

Twatternatter Tue 20-Dec-16 21:58:01

I think she meant retard. Nasty

TheQueenOfItAll Tue 20-Dec-16 21:58:07

Hi guys, thanks for answering I thought I was being unreasonable to question relationship because of this. A shame really as we are looking at a house together.

To those wondering the "r" word, it is retard.

I am really upset by this, not even the name calling; the fact that he refused to help me when I asked - I would never do that to him.

It's also fucking frustrating because I've helped him numerous times with his English and it never even crossed my mind to say no.

RandomMess Tue 20-Dec-16 21:59:42

That is utterly awful of him, I think I'd be leaving tbh.

PaperdollCartoon Tue 20-Dec-16 22:01:44

Pretty sure she means retard but didn't use a * for every letter.

This is a really nasty thing for him to say when you're just trying to learn. He should want to support you. Does he have form for saying nasty things?

MikeUniformMike Tue 20-Dec-16 22:02:24

What is the language? Some languages are easier to learn, maybe it is a harder one.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 20-Dec-16 22:05:18

It doesn't matter what language it is

He sounds horrible, unsupportive.

arethereanyleftatall Tue 20-Dec-16 22:06:05

Op - this is more than just not helping you. You don't speak like that (even in an argument) to someone you like or love.

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