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Was this neglectful? Regarding DD's sleepover

(155 Posts)
user1477282676 Tue 20-Dec-16 21:32:39

DD is 8 and is good friends with a little girl 5 doors down. They don't attend the same school but over this year they've forged a lovely friendship.

This is Australia so 5 doors down is quite a distance compared to how it would be in the UK...all the houses on the street are detached and have very large gardens...we have no problem with DD running up the road to her mate's house to call for her and her friend does the same.

The issue is this. The street backs onto a large golf course...massive with a lot of old trees....the neighbours back garden, like backed onto the course.

Last night DD was asked to sleepover there and we agreed this was fine.

I spoke to her on the phone at about 8.00pm and she was happy, said goodnnight....she mentioned they were playing in the "den" in friend's back garden which is right by the back gate...the "den' is a broken down play house...wooden but not at all air or insect proof...there's a large hole on one side and it's usually mucky.

Anyway...about 11.00pm DH takes our dog for his evening walk...he goes all around the golf course and returns on a route taking him past the friend's back gate...he is about 50 feet from the house walking along when he hears this sad voice shouting "Mummy!" Mummy!" he realises it's DD!

He calls her name and she shouts "Daddy!" and he goes up to the den to see her...turns out they've been allowed to sleep out in this den...and the friend has gone into a deep sleep from which she can't be woken...DD is scared witless by the sounds of the wildlife...this area is full of wild animals...and she is too scared to go to the house to get her mate's Mother as the garden is so long and she'd been calling out for ages...

Is it a bit off to let two little girls sleep in a den like that...completely acessible from the golf course...very little protection from weather and out of earshot of the main house?

I might be being a bit precious so thought I'd ask. DH phoned the friend's mother whilst he stood there with DD and she laughed...she was in bed, asleep...he told her DD wanted to come home so he thought he'd let her know as the friend was now alone in the den...the mother just said "that's fine" and went!

DD was so relieved to be home!

BratFarrarsPony Tue 20-Dec-16 21:34:41

Hmm I must say I would not be impressed.

parrots Tue 20-Dec-16 21:35:44

Not normal! Completely irresponsible of the girls parents

Squashberry Tue 20-Dec-16 21:36:10

I'd be furious, although the parents must let their Dd sleep there regularly and not see a problem with it. I wouldn't let DD sleep there again or possibly go there again without me being there, if she wanted to see her friend then her friend could come to yours.

Whatsername17 Tue 20-Dec-16 21:36:21

I would have lost the plot! Way too young and very neglectful.

Aeroflotgirl Tue 20-Dec-16 21:36:43

Sounds like the friend is used to this. However the back door shoukd bD open with the light on, so that she can go in whenever she wants. I personally woukd nit be happy with this.

Mistoffeleze Tue 20-Dec-16 21:37:14

At their age, I think it's fine.

witsender Tue 20-Dec-16 21:38:44

Yup, I would be very unhappy. Poor little pickle.

Daisyfrumps Tue 20-Dec-16 21:39:06

sad Poor girly - well she won't be doing that again!

Daisyfrumps Tue 20-Dec-16 21:40:31

Maybe you could have a chat with your girl about assertiveness - standing up for herself if she faces situations she doesn't want to be in.

Daisyfrumps Tue 20-Dec-16 21:41:09

Though I suppose it was exciting until her friend fell asleep and she felt all alone!

brasty Tue 20-Dec-16 21:41:21

Are you British? I would check out what other Australians thought.

AnyFucker Tue 20-Dec-16 21:42:04

No more sleepovers

a1992 Tue 20-Dec-16 21:43:54

I wouldn't be impressed especially in Australia, where there are poisonous snakes and spiders. Which very much could have been hiding out in the den.

DearMrDilkington Tue 20-Dec-16 21:46:22

If it was in the uk I wouldn't be happy with it.

But in Australia, where there is loads of snakes/spiders/bugs that can bite and kill a child of that age, I'd be furious. Completely irresponsible to let them sleep in a broken playhouse with holes for spiders and snakes to get in. It sounds like they could have easily been taken by a stranger walking past the golf course too. Thank God it was your dh who heard her and not a complete stranger.

BratFarrarsPony Tue 20-Dec-16 21:46:32

'check out what other Australians thought' a parent is a parent.

Bbee Tue 20-Dec-16 21:48:03

Definately neglectful. You don't need to run the risk of something happening to test it out.

GettingitwrongHauntingatnight Tue 20-Dec-16 21:49:57

Nope wouldn't be happy. God forbid if someone else had heard dd not dh.

brasty Tue 20-Dec-16 21:50:30

But the idea of what is good parenting is cultural.

namedaccount Tue 20-Dec-16 21:51:35

Nope, wouldn't be happy with that. Your poor DD calling out like that sad

MumbleBumbleBum Tue 20-Dec-16 21:52:45

The thought of it gave me the shivers anyway and then along come the reminders of the hazardous wildlife and I am in full on horror! Thank goodness her father walked past, poor lamb would have potentially been terrified all night if not for that good fortune. I would be frightened if I had to sleep there!

PleaseDoNotTagMe Tue 20-Dec-16 21:53:18

Well, no because living in a different country does expose you to things being done in different ways.

At my dd's school, the toilets are open to the public. It's open to a park on one side and bushland on the other side with a path right through it that people use as a short cut. Nowhere is locked. So if you were to ask some of the parents at that school whether you thought a six year old would be ok going to the toot on his/her own then they would think hmm 'of course' as it is the norm to go to the toilet where you might run into anyone.

Kreeshsheesh Tue 20-Dec-16 21:53:33

Methinks the sleepovers are over at that particular house!

user1477282676 Tue 20-Dec-16 21:54:16

Oh I thought I might be being a bit precious! I thought it was bad....the snake issue isn't really a thing though as they just don't come out in the night...spiders though...that's another thing!

I did think what if someone had been passing and heard her...some stranger might have approached her out of concern and scared her's a big, quiet golf course but there are quite a few dog walkers.

someonestolemynick Tue 20-Dec-16 21:54:27

At 8 years old I can't see the problem. I've camped out in the garden at 8 with friends.

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