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AIBU to think not sending Christmas cards and giving to charity instead is a big con?

(151 Posts)
chickenstock Tue 20-Dec-16 20:33:12

Lots of people are announcing they're doing this now. If it was a genuine choice based on an inability to cover the cost of both, then fine. But most of the people I know who are doing it can more than afford to send some cards and give some money to charity. Also, why say the thing you're not doing is the thing that brings pleasure to others? Why not say, I'm going to have one less bottle of Prosecco this Christmas, or skip the fancy chocs or whatever, and give that money to charity? Just be honest and say I can't bothered to send some seasons greetings to the people I like. I think it's mean.

Thegirlinthefireplace Tue 20-Dec-16 20:36:28

Some people enjoy them, some people find them a waste of paper and money. I'm guessing those you are referring to believe the latter...

NavyandWhite Tue 20-Dec-16 20:41:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FranticalFidget Tue 20-Dec-16 20:45:14

I accept cards are the scam they are. Earlier generation was suckered in to it (we weren't as advertisement/capitalist savvy) and passed it down to us as a 'must do'.

I broke the cycle years ago 😁 Told people that if I really wished them a merry Christmas I'd tell them myself through a phone call/ meeting.

It's a huge waste of money and paper/card and was only started to make others rich.

Topseyt Tue 20-Dec-16 20:46:30

I think you have it the wrong way round.

It is cards themselves (waste and environmental damage) and the cost of the postage that are the biggest con.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 20-Dec-16 20:47:40

I agree I think it's an odd swap - not sending christmas cards therefore giving to charity.

Either don't send cards or do, it doesn't really matter. But I don't see why that decision suddenly makes people donate.

Beewhisperer Tue 20-Dec-16 20:50:39

I have done it for the first time this year. I will be completely honest in says by that I did it mainly because I have an 11 week old baby and don't have the time or the inclination to sit and write a load of cards.
To be honest I never considered that people would be that bothered. I can't see anything wrong with it if it saves my sanity and helps a good cause.
I think I will continue.

I've done this and posted about it on Facebook blush

In my head the link was simple: about to buy charity Christmas cards online. Discovered a paltry 39p per pack was actually going to charity. Decided to cut out the middle man and make a donation direct to the charity instead.

plus I'm shit at remembering to send cards

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout Tue 20-Dec-16 20:51:48

I stopped sending cards a few years ago and, although I give to charity throughout the year, this is an extra now that I wouldn't normally have given.

I'm so relieved that the trend has spread among most of my friends; my heart sinks a little when we receive a card - I have to find somewhere to put it that doesn't get in the way or add to any untidiness thenjust throw it out in a couple of weeks. What a waste.

If I see you, I'll wish you merry Christmas
If you're my Facebook friend, I'll wish you merry Christmas
If I don't see you and don't have you on Facebook, I'm not that interested to wish you merry Christmas, but I wish you all the best anyway

user1477282676 Tue 20-Dec-16 20:52:47

YANBU. My uncle sent me a card this year which was a poem he'd printed out and stuck on some card. I bloody loved thoughtful. Even a postacard or tiny Christmas card is preferable. I love cards! I send them still even if no other bugger will.

Patienceisvirtuous Tue 20-Dec-16 20:54:38


Deinonychus Tue 20-Dec-16 20:54:48

I think it's a chore. The cards are fairly reasonable (but even "charity" cards have just pennies going to the actual charity), postage gets more ridiculous every year, but the biggest cost is my time and effort. As such, I donate £100 to charity instead. It's more than they would get compared to 10% of a pack of Christmas cards.

RubyRoseViolet Tue 20-Dec-16 20:55:48

I can totally understand why people do this both to make sure that money goes directly to a charity or because they see the whole process as a bit of a waste of paper. I send to people I don't see often, I can't see much point in sending to people I talk to every day.

Mermaid36 Tue 20-Dec-16 20:57:49

I haven't had time to write cards, what with having 8 month old twins on oxygen.
Instead, we have made a donation to the NICU unit that our girls spent 4 months in.

GingerHollyandIvy Tue 20-Dec-16 20:59:50

I say Happy Christmas to my friends and family either in person or by phone call. I rarely send cards. I'd rather donate money to a local food bank or local charity.

I don't see the problem. People are free to do what they want.

Celticlassie Tue 20-Dec-16 21:00:09

I think if you don't want to give cards, don't give cards, but 'making a donation to charity' is the same as these Oxfam gifts - something the sender does to make themselves feel good which has absolutely no benefit to the recipient.

Ragwort Tue 20-Dec-16 21:01:21

I do both blush - and I give my time as a volunteer as well. I love sending and receiving cards, I am not on any form of social media so I don't do all the 'wishing you a Happy Christmas on Facebook' routine. I positively enjoy writing a few cards each night from early November, it is lovely to receive cards and hear peoples' news. I don't send cards to people I see every day, but for keeping in touch with 'old' friends and relations that we rarely meet up with it's one of the most enjoyable parts of Christmas. smile I would far rather spend my money on cards and stamps than a boozy night out which is what some people seem happy to do.

Tootsiepops Tue 20-Dec-16 21:01:29

I donate to charity because I cannot be arsed with the faff of sending cards. I did it conscientiously for years, now I find it dull as fuck, so the money I would have spent now goes somewhere where I feel it will make a real and genuine difference and that makes me feel a bit less shit bah humbug

Dozer Tue 20-Dec-16 21:01:30

It's twattery to announce on FB that one is not sending cards : as a PP said, just send them or don't.

I try to minimise them and dislike the waste and mess.

Tootsiepops Tue 20-Dec-16 21:04:09

I think people should broadcast their charitable donations on Facebook - each tweet or post on social media is worth an average of £10 to the charity in question as it prompts others to donate too.

Zampa Tue 20-Dec-16 21:04:35


I hate, hate, hate people who say "no cards this year, I'm giving to charity". It's such a "look at me, I'm a good person" statement. Bleurg.

Send cards or don't. Donate money or don't. Just don't use the scenario to boast.

JumpingJellybeanz Tue 20-Dec-16 21:05:26


I despise Christmas cards. I don't want my beautifully decorated living room being cluttered up with other people's litter.

PrettyBotanicals Tue 20-Dec-16 21:09:14

I think it's vulgar to boast about what you do or don't give to charity.

Sending cards is hardly going to break the bank in the face of the profligacy surrounding Christmas.

Being arsed to spend an evening remembering and handwriting cards to old friends, finding addresses and stamps, is a personal investment in those relationships.

I'd be far more impressed by anyone who foregoes their haul of presents and asks for charitable donations instead. And keeps their trap shut on Facebook about it.

buckyou Tue 20-Dec-16 21:11:25

I can't be arsed with cards. It makes me laugh when people put on FB about their charity donations. 'look at me, aren't I a good person!'. grin

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad Tue 20-Dec-16 21:16:08

This thread had made me rather sad although I do accept card writing is dying tradition.
As I do every year and have gone all my life i have sent plenty of Xmas cards - this year I have sent 100 cards - and loved writing every single one of them - to people who have mattered to me over the years for a huge variety of reasons - from my own friends to my friends' parents (who did a lot for me when I was young) to my parents' friends (who have been there for my parents in later years). So far this year I've received 80 cards from people far and wide from all over the world people who have figured throughout my life for a huge variety of reasons and with whom I share many memories - just because they aren't friends on Facebook (usually because most dont have fb) or we are not able to see each other in the flesh anymore doesn't mean these people don't matter to me. Sending a card once a year creates a continuum in my life - a way of reconnecting with people from my past who mattered and a way of telling that person that I remember them and that they were important to me at a particular time in my life. And in some ways still are.
I also give to charity and have worked for charities but that is an entirely separate thing to me.

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