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AIBU?

..to avoid chicken pox??

31 replies

FestiveStinkyPants · 20/12/2016 11:48

My niece has chicken pox and I'm avoiding her so my Ds doesn't catch it, is that wrong??

Ds is 3 so a good time to catch it and get it out of the way but I don't want him to be ill. DSis has been taking dn out, school last week, shopping and has suggested meeting up this week and obviously over the Xmas weekend but I don't want to knowingly make my child ill. DSis also has a younger Ds who hasn't come out in spots yet but I feel it's only a matter of time. I want to give them a wide berth for a month but DF says I can't, we have to see each other over Xmas (I haven't seen them since September anyway)

Am I unreasonable to put my childs health first??

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 20/12/2016 11:59

Of course not. No-one in their right mind would want a chicken poxy child over Christmas. Not to mention the fact that you might get it.

If your sister is taking a child who has active chicken pox out in public, that is very irresponsible. If she is contagious still, and comes into contact with someone who is immuno-compromised, or already in ill health, or is pregnant, the effects for that person could be devastating.

I would ignore your DF, and do what you think is right.

sometimesKit · 20/12/2016 12:03

YANBU about not wanting your son to get it, there's no telling how badly he could have it. My oldest and middle had very mild cases where they had a few spots and minor cold type symptoms then no more trouble. My youngest really suffered, incredibly itchy and sore and downright miserable, with more spots than the other two put together!

I don't think avoiding them for a month is totally necessary, it depends whether your nephew gets it or not. How long has your neice had it, what stage is she at? It's no longer contagious once all the spots have dried up.

Randytortoise · 20/12/2016 12:07

My 2 dc are just getting over cp and yanbu. Ds2 had it first but was luckily not I'll with it. But this meant keeping a very active 2 try old busy and entertained for a week without leaving the house.
Ds1 got it the day Ds2 went back to cm. He spent a week refusing to get out of bed. He was really poorly with it and u wouldn't wish it on anyone.

lottieandmia · 20/12/2016 12:08

YANBU - chicken pox is horrible and almost always causes scarring. Taking a poxy child out anywhere is so wrong.

missyB1 · 20/12/2016 12:12

I would be avoiding them in afraid. There is no "good" age to get CP, the thing is it's a totally unpredictable illness. One of my boys was so ill with it that I had the youngest vaccinated against it.

TheWitTank · 20/12/2016 12:13

YANBU to not want it over Christmas. That would be awful! BUT my DD has just had it age 11 and it was dreadful -to add to the misery of the itching and feeling like shit, pile on the crapness of being aware of your looks and missing out on school trips and work. I would much rather she had had it at 3. If you have seen her recently you may have already got it unfortunately-incubation of two weeks.

Sirzy · 20/12/2016 12:16

She took her to school? Stupid woman.

There is a thread on here at the moment by a Mum who has just got out of hospital with her young daughter after a very bad case of chicken pox. I suggest anyone who doubts the potential severity, or who thinks it's "better" to get it young has a look at that.

FestiveStinkyPants · 20/12/2016 12:49

I haven't seen them since September so no problems there.

I'm NOT seeing them over Xmas, no ones changing my mind on this. I don't know how long I will avoid them, we don't see each other regularly anyway but df wants us all to be together at least one day over Xmas. His view is that Ds will get them anyway so why wait?

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yellowfrog · 20/12/2016 12:50

Your sister is being a selfish idiot. I caught chicken pox as an adult from someone who did what she's doing - it was bloody horrible and I will have the scars for life.

AnitaTeaBakes · 20/12/2016 12:53

CP is not a good thing. Get the vaccination.

Gwenci · 20/12/2016 12:59

There's an odd mentality of deliberate exposure around CP that doesn't seem to exist with other illnesses and I find it really weird.

As others have said, it's a horribly unpredictable disease and there's no knowing how badly different people will suffer with it. I've had both my DC vaccinated, and after seeing how terribly a friend's DS suffered with it, I'm so glad I have.

Gwenci · 20/12/2016 13:01

(So YANBU, obviously!)

StripyHorse · 20/12/2016 13:14

YANBU. Get supplies in for Christmas dinner (if you weren't already eating at home) and avoid poxy children. I would have been tempted with vaccine but didn't know about it until well after my DCs had chicken pox.

crazywriter · 20/12/2016 13:30

Definitely avoid. I was lucky that my two had cp mild but I would never have taken them out (except to good friend who told me to take them over so I could get a break after a month of being cooped up in the house because her threen had had it and she wasn't worried). You never know who you will be in contact with!

There's really not a good age to get cp. We all react differently. I don't get this process of exposing children to viruses 'because they'll probably get it anyway'. I know plenty of adults who haven't had it and wouldn't want to be exposed to it. My DH is a bit of a hypochondriac so I limit as much as possible in the house to prevent him instantly jumping to more serious thoughts but even if not I wouldn't choose to expose my.child to cp if I didn't have to.

Stick to your guns op.

Poocatcherchampion · 20/12/2016 13:33

I don't think yoy should expose your child but I expect theirs will be cleared up by Christmas day.

Ive got two with it at the mo and I understand it is mostly all over within about 5 days. Dd2 followed that pattern. We are therefore expecting to proceed as planned at Christmas.

Luckystar1 · 20/12/2016 13:38

Sorry completely off thread but, in relation to the vaccine, does it provide life long immunity? I'd like to get it for my children, but I'm worried that it wouldn't protect DD during adulthood for possible pregnancy etc.

gluteustothemaximus · 20/12/2016 13:40

YANBU. My DS had it very very bad. That was 4 years ago now. He has scars all over his body still. He missed 3 weeks of school he was so ill. Hate irresponsible parents who take infectious children out. Very selfish.

pklme · 20/12/2016 14:03

Send her a link to the thread ^^!
Photos included.

TheLesserWeevil · 20/12/2016 14:19

Luckystar1 afaik the current vaccine hasn't been around long enough to know for certain that it will provide life long immunity, but current info (from Japan) suggests at least 20 years. Any contact your child has with CP post-vaccination will probably boost their immunity further, according to the nurse who jabbed my son! It's part of the general childhood vaccination programme in the States so I'm sure the drug companies won't hesitate to provide boosters later in life if necessary.

Atlanticblue76 · 20/12/2016 14:31

It sounds like you don't really want to see your sister. How long has your niece had CP? My LO came out with the spots on Friday, she was quite poorly over the weekend but I'm sure they're only contagious for around 5 days once the spots have arrived. Normal service will resume hopefully tomorrow, at the latest Thursday.

Luckystar1 · 20/12/2016 14:35

Thank you weevil, might take the plunge (soon... need more sleep before any more vaccinations!)

FestiveStinkyPants · 22/12/2016 11:50

My niece came out in spots almost two weeks ago so I'm sure she's fine, but her sibling hasn't yet so is most likely in the contagious stage so I'm avoiding for a while. I've told DF that I'm not going to see her or her family until I feel like it and he's fine now - think DM had a word! Ds has been in hospital a few times and I don't want to make him ill on purpose to keep people happy.

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FestiveStinkyPants · 28/12/2016 10:03

And now Dnephew has spots.

Dparents visited them on Xmas day before coming to mine (didn't tell me till she got here, even though I asked they visited us first) so now I'm worried Ds is going to pick it up from them? Can chicken pox be caught this way??

OP posts:

FittonTower · 28/12/2016 10:17

Avoiding pox-y children is sensible bit I don't think you can avoid seeing people who have seen people that might be contagious. It's likely your parents are immune anyway and if not they're not likely to have been contagious so soon after seeing your nephew who may not have been contagious then anyway.

Bettyspants · 28/12/2016 10:27

Just adding some info that catching cp does not assure immunity and as my own dc have demonstrated it's possible to have it more than once. I'm bewildered by people who deliberately expose their dc to cp. a young cousin caught it from a child who had been deliberately exposed (not yet showing spots) she is in chemotherapy and ended up in itu . For my own dd she ended up in hospital on ivs and is still under ophthalmology 🙁 For the most it's simply a mild irritating childhood illness but there's no certainty of this, the severity of the illness or who the child could potentially affect whilst in the incubation phase and apparently cp free. Back to op you sound very sensible. With hindsight and the reaction my DC had (along with going through it 3 times with dd who now finally has immunity) I would have paid for a private varicella vaccine

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