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AIBU - bedtimes for 2yo

(8 Posts)
aggyannie Tue 20-Dec-16 10:13:27

I don't know whether I have been U bringing this up with ex partner. DS is 2 and is with me 5 nights a week and ex 2 nights a week. With me he is in bed just before 7 and asleep for about ten past after a story. We sometimes have nights where he wakes up but on the whole he'll sleep until 7am.

DS always seems exhausted when he comes back from exp's. Exp has told me hat he goes to bed at 8.30ish at weekends and between 7.30 and 8 on a nursery night. I have asked him to put him to bed earlier, especially on a nursery night when he is up and at nursery for 8am - there's no way he can be getting his 12 hours sleep. Nursery have started to mention that he's not himself and seems exhausted when he comes in with Dad. I text exp last night asking him to consider bed time again and his response was "stop telling me how to parent my child" - he's our child and I want to work together. Was I being U to ask him to stick to the routine? I just feel so sorry for DS, he was too tired to eat his tea last night when he came home from nursery and just comes home in such a bad mood because he's so tired sad

Soubriquet Tue 20-Dec-16 10:18:38

It's a horrible situation especially when it impacts on the child itself but generally, whoever has the child, gets to say when they go to bed..

Allthewaves Tue 20-Dec-16 10:22:01

I think you have to let this one slide. You can ask and you have asked and he said no so leave it. Just offer him a light snack when you get him back, with cuddle time on the sofa and give him an early night.

Also if it's a daycare could u ask them to give him a nap on tired days? We have to do this if mine have been staying a gp as they like late bedtimes

aggyannie Tue 20-Dec-16 10:52:34

I know I'm going to have to leave it, it's just so frustrating. I hate that he's so tired that nursery have noticed a pattern and it could be so easily fixed if we worked together. Exp is so resistant all the time and takes everything as a personal insult. He said "stop trying to parent my child or I'll start throwing some home truths your way". I'm really trying to have a civilised relationship with him for the sake of DS but every text is taken as an insult. Face to face he is nice as pie - I must stop texting but just want some kind of record to show I am trying.

Gowgirl Tue 20-Dec-16 10:53:43

I dream of a bedtime for the youngest! She however has other ideas....

Soubriquet Tue 20-Dec-16 10:59:38

I think you need to back off and leave him to it then. He's obviously childish like that.

Eventually he might learn that his actions are bringing negative consequences to his child

Redesul Tue 20-Dec-16 23:32:29

Have nursery mentioned anything to him? Maybe if they say a little something about it, it might open his eyes a bit, seeing as he doesn't want to listen to you. If that doesn't work then as other people have said, you'll probably just have to leave it to keep the peace. If you haven't been broken up for that long then you may have to wait it out and just let the dust settle

FinallyGotAnIPhone Tue 20-Dec-16 23:36:59

It's tricky. I have had this situation for 3 years now with my (now) 6 and 3 yr old DDs. Not really much you can do about it. My 3 year old is always exhausted and hysterical by 7pm on the day after she has stayed at her dad's for 2 nights. V annoying.

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