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MIL's visit from Father Christmas

(95 Posts)
AliceFish16 Tue 20-Dec-16 07:11:22

Morning!

I saw my in laws briefly yesterday and my mil said something to my DD (3.5) about Father Christmas leaving presents at her house for her and DS (baby) but only if they are good (we are going to them for Christmas Day).

We have told DD that Father Christmas only visits children not adults (as she asked what FC was bringing us, her grandparents etc). I know my mums presents to DC will be from her not FC and I don't really want other FC presents given to our children than anyone but ourselves (this is how it was when I was growing up).

AIBU to ask mil not to do this or should I stop being selfish/protective and let mil go ahead?

I realise how trivial this is but when I asked by DH he just brushed over it and I know my mum will say don't let her! So would love some other views!

Chottie Tue 20-Dec-16 07:16:50

I personally do not see a problem.

MN is full of threads about uncaring DGPs and PiLs and you have a MiL who wants to be involved with your children. Does it really matter if Christmas is not exactly the same as when you were a child? Let Christmas evolve and make a new pattern which now involves both sets of DGPs. fsmile

mumwhatnothing Tue 20-Dec-16 07:18:06

I would probably force DH into deciding with me on what OUR family will be doing and what traditions to set in place for our children. Then present a united front to all other family members. It will require compromise on both sides and you may not get it the way you want.

ftmsoon Tue 20-Dec-16 07:18:07

I had this conversation with DH two nights ago. I said I want FC to only visit here and only leave what is in DD's stocking. Presents from other people are from them and they need thanking.
He agreed and will support me if MIL tries it on, although we have told everyone we aren't doing FC so I don't foresee a problem.

mumwhatnothing Tue 20-Dec-16 07:19:51

Although in my home we do what ftmsoon does smile

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 20-Dec-16 07:21:02

I don't think FC leaving presents at her house is an issue but I do really hate the threat that children only get presents if they've been good.

It's bollocks.

NavyandWhite Tue 20-Dec-16 07:24:43

Oh please.
Listen to yourself woman!

AnInfiniteOceanOfLight Tue 20-Dec-16 07:26:03

My MIL always gets kids her own stocking and tells them Santa delivered one to her as well as to wherever they are staying in Xmas day. Meh. Kids don't question it, she wants to, there's no problem I think.

AliceFish16 Tue 20-Dec-16 07:27:27

Thanks guys! I did think I was being a bit pathetic but sometimes you need someone to say "yes you are, worry about important things" grin

Wellitwouldbenice Tue 20-Dec-16 07:29:36

Chottie is right! Shes not doing anything wrong/offensive/irritating. She's got them presents and is being nice grin

Scooby20 Tue 20-Dec-16 07:35:54

Really? Does it matter if a fictional person leaves presents at their house or not?

Does it matter what you did as a child?

I don't get the angst over what santa does. I have seen it on a few threads. It's never entered my head to have a set list of jobs for a man who doesn't exist. Nor has it entered my head to tell my parents or pils what they should say about santa either.

Yabu.

NavyandWhite Tue 20-Dec-16 07:44:52

Oops NC fail Alice?

Glad you've seen sense smile

AliceFish16 Tue 20-Dec-16 07:47:37

Yes Navy and White!! All new to this so trying to figure it all out!!

As I said I did think I was being a bit over sensitive (stupid!!) but wanted some views as those around me wouldn't be very helpful!

TinyGoldfish Tue 20-Dec-16 07:48:38

Two specific name choices there Alice. Who will you be next?

BillSykesDog Tue 20-Dec-16 07:48:56

Yeah. You really won't care about this in 30 years time. But spoiling Xmas a bit with petty rows you will regret. Glad you made the right call.

OneMillionScovilles Tue 20-Dec-16 07:52:13

This is so lovely!

OP: AIBU?
Majority of MN: Yep, a little.
OP: Yeah, you're probably right - thanks everyone.

All in under 20 posts.

Alice, I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas smile No harm in Santa spreading the joy between houses!

blueskyinmarch Tue 20-Dec-16 07:52:33

Santa used to come to my grans house as well as our house when we we little. I loved it and i think i was aware very early the these were really just my gifts from my grandparent but it sort of added to the magicalness of Christmas.

MoreThanUs Tue 20-Dec-16 07:55:21

You must be new to MN, OP - you can't see reason so quickly - it should take at least 100 posts, and even then you should be insistent that you are in the right!!

MoreThanUs Tue 20-Dec-16 07:56:01

Cross posted with OneMillion

NavyandWhite Tue 20-Dec-16 08:02:24

Have a lovely Christmas OP 🎄

AliceFish16 Tue 20-Dec-16 08:06:44

Merry Christmas to you all!

(At least I know where to come next time control freak in me gets out of handsmile)

AliceFish16 Tue 20-Dec-16 08:09:03

Bluesky - that's lovely - makes me feel excited now to see DD face twice that day when she realises he's come twice for them!

NavyandWhite Tue 20-Dec-16 08:13:11

Yes she'll have double the fun and excitement! And that's what Christmas is all about. smile

QuackDuckQuack Tue 20-Dec-16 08:17:04

My PIL tried to add all of their presents to th Santa ones and I explained that they couldn't as DD wouldn't know who to thank if they did that. My next mission is to persuade them to stick to one present.

SelfCleaningVagina Tue 20-Dec-16 08:19:27

She will probably give them a gift that is from her as well as a stocking from Santa won't she?

you say you want it done the way it was done in your house growing up, but perhaps her way was the way it was on your DH's house. Does it really matter? Honestly, don't sweat the small stuff. Unless you are morally opposed to lying to your children about Santa altogether, in which case I would agree that your MIL should respect your strongly held principles, then I think it should be the prerogative of the gift giver to decide how/when a gift should be given.

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