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To tell my dm she got it badly wrong?

(133 Posts)
Cherrysoup Mon 19-Dec-16 23:21:16

She told me tonight that she'd got the dh something Simpsons related, the Private Eye annual and a diary. She thinks he likes the Simpsons. He doesn't. She told me he loves Private Eye: he's never mentioned it, isn't into political satire and all his reading material is on kindle. Our diary is online, Google, shared on all the mobile devices at home so we can make sure we know each other's schedule.

I appreciate that she has put in thought and has bought him presents. She could have simply sent vouchers, easy for her (she's physically and mentally fine)

I don't know where she's got these ideas from and the gifts will be charity shopped. He won't be ungrateful, she won't know (they live 5 hours away, she's sending them down with a relative who is coming down), but I think she should save herself the time and effort. AIBU to tell her that he isn't into the things she bought? It's not the first time she's done this, I did mention it previously, especially the diary thing.

I wouldn't do it now, but in time for next year. I think, knowing her, she'd prefer to get him something he really likes, but she doesn't listen!

EZA15 Mon 19-Dec-16 23:23:09

Last time you mentioned it - what did she say?

chickenowner Mon 19-Dec-16 23:23:25

No, don't tell her. She has tried to get things that she thinks he will like.

Floggingmolly Mon 19-Dec-16 23:24:19

No, don't tell her he doesn't like them (he hasn't even received them yet??) it's just plain rude.

sooperdooper Mon 19-Dec-16 23:24:55

Don't tell her, next year give her specific ideas early on

CockacidalManiac Mon 19-Dec-16 23:25:30

To be honest, if he doesn't like Private Eye then I'd LTB

Purpleprickles Mon 19-Dec-16 23:26:00

No don't tell her, next year can you suggest some things for her to get to save her buying things he won't use?

Purpleprickles Mon 19-Dec-16 23:26:29

Great minds soonersmile

ExitPursuedBySantaSpartacus Mon 19-Dec-16 23:26:31

He might like them. <hopeful>

Purpleprickles Mon 19-Dec-16 23:26:55

Autocorrect!! Sooper!

SaucyJack Mon 19-Dec-16 23:26:57

Why would you do that?

Is there a reason you think your husband isn't capable of deciding for himself whether he likes his presents or not?

Pallisers Mon 19-Dec-16 23:27:14

say nothing. A gift doesn't have to be what the recipient wants. It is a token of affection surely.

your dh will thank her and she will feel fine. He will send them off to the charity shop and feel good that someone else will enjoy them.

Next year, well in advance tell her explicitly, exactly what your dh wants. If it works great. If it doesn't smile and thank her.

Patienceisvirtuous Mon 19-Dec-16 23:29:39

Don't tell her. That would be unkind.

Ameliablue Mon 19-Dec-16 23:29:51

If she won't listen, there would be no point.

RhodaBorrocks Mon 19-Dec-16 23:30:08

My DM gets me a tiny handbag diary every year. I use my phone. I've told her this. She still gets me one because "It's nice to write things down".

I just thank her and move on now. Why tell her if you've already said something? What do you hope to achieve? Either tell her exactly what your DH likes or just charity shop it quietly.

Reality16 Mon 19-Dec-16 23:32:14

God no, why would you tell her? She probably enjoys hunting out the gifts and if she think she they have been well received then that's good enough. I wouldn't spoil that for her. My elderly aunt is a charity shop regular and is forever picking up uttershite bits and pieces for the DC. Most of it gets sent to charity again because it's unsuitable or they don't like it but that fills h days and she enjoys feeling like she is doing something. Don't be the ungrateful person. Also agree with the person upthread, gave your DH a chance to decide for himself. Just because he has never mentioned something doesn't mean he can't enjoy it as a present.

HarryPottersMagicWand Mon 19-Dec-16 23:45:54

I get you. It's really awkward. My nan does this a lot with DH's presents. I usually get her to check first but sometimes she doesn't then tells me what she has got. Previously it was one of those coin jars that counts your money, we have 3 already, another time it was a file folder thing, we got rid of the ones we had before. I hate the thought of her wasting her money and I hate giving a present away that someone has bought so I did mention it to her and she changed them.

She is kind of known in the family for being a bad present buyer which I didn't realise until another family member said something. I try and help her with presents now. Sometimes she listens, sometimes she refuses and says she's just got it now and I always feel bad for her.

MistresssIggi Mon 19-Dec-16 23:46:48

Isn't he going to be seeing her this Christmas?

Italiangreyhound Mon 19-Dec-16 23:46:52

Do not tell her, just make some suggestions next year with the phrase "I know you like to get things people like so I wheedled out of dh that he would like... blah blah."

I have had two friends say they did not like my Christmas gifts and it is very hurtful.

IMHO gifts are meant to be quite frivolous, fun items that are not essential. Unless someone is spending a lot and asks for ideas, I'd leave it.

ChocoChou Mon 19-Dec-16 23:46:56

Don't tell her fhmm

Floggingmolly Mon 19-Dec-16 23:48:14

I always feel bad for her. Just stop offering your opinions on what she's chosen! That might help in not making her feel like shit...

Italiangreyhound Mon 19-Dec-16 23:49:03

PS The only time I did say something personally was when a close relative gave me perfume. It was a scent did not agree with me (which they could not have known). It gave me headaches so I said so, so as not to get more the next year!

MrsDustyBusty Mon 19-Dec-16 23:49:18

They sound like quite nice presents to me, certainly they can't cause offence. The worst they'll be is unused. So why hurt your mother? She hasn't got it badly wrong - there's nothing malicious or spiteful in what she's sending.

Cherrysoup Mon 19-Dec-16 23:51:49

Why would you do that? Is there a reason you think your husband isn't capable of deciding for himself whether he likes his presents?

?? Because he said so last time she got him almost exactly the same! To me, obviously, not her. Call me crazy, but I know my dh: I have enumerated why all of these gifts are not to his taste.

I will keep schtum and tell her things he would like next year. She got him an M&S voucher which he loved last year, I was forever saying what he had bought and how much he liked buying lovely treats with the voucher.

haveacupoftea Mon 19-Dec-16 23:53:56

Is anyone else secretly hoping it turns out DH loves Private Eye and The Simpsons halo

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