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I'm not am I?! (Christmas one sorry, and it's long)

(123 Posts)
lastqueenofscotland Mon 19-Dec-16 20:11:31

This year we are doing Christmas at my sisters, which is a small cottage in a remote location (highlands of Scotland remote).
We usually end up with a few waifs and strays and have ended up with more than usual. So we have Booked cabs for those from a nearby town to go home in the evening and those from other remote villages who will struggle if they have been drinking to get home can stay.

One of the people coming is from the town, and is a friend of my sisters and is an Aussie who can't get come for Christmas, she lives nearby my mums brother. Excellent.
Also nearby is a girl me and my sister went to school with, who has sort of guilt tripped us into having her, she has family to spend it with but she had a minor argument with one of them 89472 years ago so doesn't want to see them... Initially she asked me if she could come and I said id need to speak to my sister it's her house etc, she got cross saying we'd invited som random Aussie but not her, an old friend etc. My sister said sod it for the sake of keeping the peace well have her.

However she is continuing to be difficult, I was going to pick up her, my uncle and the other girl from the town where they all live at noon after my uncle would have been to church.
She has turned round and said well she is going out on Xmas eve and might not be awake By then and maybe wants to see her family so she'll let me know on the day when I can come and get her. hmm and we can have dinner when she gets there... More hmm

Then there was the kick off when she couldn't stay... There is a cab booked and paid for and literally NO room in the house. Again apparently it's unfair hmm

AIBU to say she's getting picked up at noon. We are having dinner when we are having dinner and no she really can't stay there is NO ROOM.

She's 30odd ffs fangry

Feelinglikeafailure Mon 19-Dec-16 20:13:01

Tell her to fuck off

Nowthereistwo Mon 19-Dec-16 20:14:15

Tell her "sorry that's not going to work". Is it really the end of the world if you fall out?

sooperdooper Mon 19-Dec-16 20:15:34

FFS sake, yes tell her pick up is X dinner is Y and her taxi home is Z and if that doesn't suit her she doesn't have to come!! How bloody rude confused

WispyWindy Mon 19-Dec-16 20:15:38

What failure said

RandomMess Mon 19-Dec-16 20:17:20

Tell her "Sorry that doesn't work for us, if you want to come be at uncle's by x o'clock"

RandomMess Mon 19-Dec-16 20:18:03

I did prefer what failure said tbh

fledglingFTB Mon 19-Dec-16 20:18:09

Don't say sorry! Jut say it like it is. What a PITA.

Spadequeen Mon 19-Dec-16 20:18:25

Cheeky bitch. Tell her to sod off and take the invite back.

MooPointCowsOpinion Mon 19-Dec-16 20:19:58

Urgh I'd just say 'oh no we'd hate to stress you out by insisting you spend the day with us when you're so busy, we'll leave you to it on Xmas day, we can always see you another time'.
Then mutter cockwomble under your breath as you wave her away.

MavisTheTwinklyToreador Mon 19-Dec-16 20:20:23

You're trying too hard to accommodate this person, tell her it's off.

FrancisCrawford Mon 19-Dec-16 20:21:33

Cheeky mare

"These are our plans. If you would like to be our guest, you are welcome to come with us and eat when we have planned. Otherwise, enjoy the day. It isn't all about you. We are being kind enough to extend our hospitality, either come, or don't come, but the arrangements are not being changed to suit you."

I can understand why her family keep their distance.

WiddlinDiddlin Mon 19-Dec-16 20:22:56

'The lift to our home is leaving xyz location at 12 noon - the taxi back to xyz location leaves at xpm. If this does not suit you then please enjoy your alternative arrangements elsewhere'.

I cannot believe how cheeky she's being, I've had 'rescue' Christmasses where I've been adopted by other families and welcomed in and NEVER ONCE would it cross my mind to dictate or attempt to, what time and where and when etc - I made sure i was ready adn where I was sposed to be or I would miss out!

NiceFalafels Mon 19-Dec-16 20:24:52

Text her saying 'it's a busy day so I'll be making just one trip to town to collect everyone. I'll knock anyway at 12, lunch is at 2. Should be a fun day but we understand if you have other plans.

ChuckSnowballs Mon 19-Dec-16 20:25:33

Goodness me. Stop pandering to her and tell her to fuck right off.

MavisTheTwinklyToreador Mon 19-Dec-16 20:26:52

NiceFalafels, spot on, great way to explain it and set some boundaries.

cheekyfunkymonkey Mon 19-Dec-16 20:29:42

Make it clear what your plans are and make it clear they are not changing. Hopefully she will have a minor falling out with you and not annoy you for another 89772 years fwink

rollonthesummer Mon 19-Dec-16 20:30:15

Why on earth are you bending over backwards for this girl?!

I wouldn't pick her up at all-send a text saying you're leaving at 12, if she's not there by then, she's not getting a lift!

What have you actually replied?

HaveNoSocks Mon 19-Dec-16 20:31:27

WTF. Yes tell her there;s a lift for her at 12 she can take it or leave it. There's a cab booked for whatever o clock and she can get it in or walk.

WeeM Mon 19-Dec-16 20:33:41

Yes that's pretty cheeky! If I was going to spend the day at someone else's I'd make sure I fit in to their plans as I wouldn't want to put them out. Especially since going to pick her up at a different time is probably gonna involve a fair amount of time even though it's not that far miles wise... I know only too well what the roads are like in remote Scottish places!
I'd be tempted to say she's more than welcome to make her own way there if the pick up time doesn't suit but lunch will be served at X o clock. But put a ? Mark on message so she knows to reply! That's leaves the ball in her court.

lastqueenofscotland Mon 19-Dec-16 20:34:05

I have indeed told her its 12 or nothing and she was so offended! More guilt tripping etc etc etc. I'm glad it's not just me that's fucked off.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans Mon 19-Dec-16 20:35:58

You and your sister sound lovely but I don't think giving into her would keep the peace. It sounds as if even if you got her there, she'd spend the whole time moaning about the dinner, the booze, not being able to stay over...

Not worth it!!!!

MatildaTheCat Mon 19-Dec-16 20:36:31

Or you could say, 'Sure, we will all be delighted to arrange the whole day to suit you. Just give me a call when you are ready to be picked up.'

Then switch your phone off. She's no loss to any of you and I doubt her family are too worried about her falling out either.

WankersHacksandThieves Mon 19-Dec-16 20:36:49

"I've carefully considered your request, my conclusion is that you should just fuck off. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year when it comes x "

tooclosetocall Mon 19-Dec-16 20:37:24

YANBU some people take the whole friggen arm.
You and your sister have extended a festive hand and she doesn't get to dictate terms.
Tell her she's being picked up at noon and dinner will be when the host says it will be and that there will be no room to stay.

What a lovely Christmas you'll have with this self-entitled missy around hmm
Hope she's put off coming

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