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Dad 'choosing' to pronounce DD's name differently

(603 Posts)
runningaftermydreams Mon 19-Dec-16 19:09:11

This is the first post I've written. Apologises for bad spelling... I am writing in anger.

So my DD is 3 months old and I given her an usual name, which I have accepted people will/do pronounce it wrong because they don't know how to say it, its easy Once you know though. My Ddad seems to struggle with it, except today I was visiting with my DC and my Ddad said her name wrong (Again!) so my Dsis corrected him (again) to which my DDad response was "Well it shouldn't be pronounced like that it should be pronounced the way I said it, I am saying it this way"

It then got heated because I told him you can't do that it will confuse her as it doesn't sound anything like her name. He said shes too little to notice. I said he needs to call her by her name that we have given her end of!!
Im fuming because he blatantly told me hes choosing to pronounce it differently, I know this won't be the end of it. I am hurt by this. I know he doesn't like it because it's not a "solid english" name (hmmm my mom is german so hes being a dick), but I wish he would respect our choice.

I am worried about what DP will say when Ddad says her name over Christmas at family gatherings. Think its going to kick off, as this won't be the first time recently where DP has disagreed with him.

AIBU to be angry about this? Wwyd?

TKRedLemonade Mon 19-Dec-16 19:11:59

I would tell him to grow up and start calling him a different name and see how he likes it.

Cuttingthecheese Mon 19-Dec-16 19:12:02

Is it saiorse?

NavyandWhite Mon 19-Dec-16 19:12:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

honeysucklejasmine Mon 19-Dec-16 19:12:53


You'll have to tell us the name though. wink

Cuttingthecheese Mon 19-Dec-16 19:12:54

Seriously though I would just ignore him completely. He is clearly doing it to wind you up.

runningaftermydreams Mon 19-Dec-16 19:13:25

It Anaïs pronounced ah-nah-ess

Daisyfrumps Mon 19-Dec-16 19:13:54

I would ignore your dad completely and carry on as normal. He's trying to assert some sort of control. Don't add fuel to the fire he's trying to start. Act as if he's said it correctly. Instruct your DP and others to do the same.

My Dad decided he'd call our DD something completely different entirely. It didn't last long and he forgot all about it in the end.

MoMandaS Mon 19-Dec-16 19:13:54

YANBU, but tread carefully. I think best approach might be to make light of it in an attempt to make him see how ridiculous he's being. Start calling him 'Pa' or something instead of Dad. Get your DP to call him some variation on his proper name.

MrsHathaway Mon 19-Dec-16 19:15:07

Is yours a unique pronunciation of a name which is only usually pronounced one way, or is it like Alicia (alissya/aleesha)? He might think you're actually confused fhmm

Either way, he's wrong. A person's name is used in speech about ten times as often as it's written, so the pronunciation matters far more than the spelling.

Have you tried calling him Dud over and over again?

MrsHathaway Mon 19-Dec-16 19:15:42

Cross posted. So you're right and he's guessing. Ffs.

Mishegoss Mon 19-Dec-16 19:16:11

I'd accidentally pronounce that 'ann-ay' because I'm not very cultured blush but once corrected obviously I would pronounce how you wanted. Rude to just change someone's child's name!

VeryBitchyRestingFace Mon 19-Dec-16 19:16:55

Is it saiorse?

I luvs that name. fgrin

NightWanderer Mon 19-Dec-16 19:18:24

You need to watch the Amazing Adventures of Gumball and Darwin with him.

runningaftermydreams Mon 19-Dec-16 19:19:16

This whole thing is stupid, my sister just sat their gobsmacked and I was fuming. This isnt the first time hes passed comment over my choices. My Ds is called something unusual too. He went wild about that one... starting suggesting other names (which I ignored) said his name was stupid hmm
Its not his choice For god sake

NavyandWhite Mon 19-Dec-16 19:21:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

altiara Mon 19-Dec-16 19:21:30

That's a pretty name. When you've stopped being angry, I'd give it once last attempt to explain you've deliberately not given her an English name because of your mum and repeat the facts about how important it is to pronounce her name correctly. But if he won't do it you need to have a plan in place that you will follow through with e.g. Cut down visiting or ask him not to say her name or something. not sure what's best - probably cut down on the visits until she knows her name. Good luck.

MsJudgemental Mon 19-Dec-16 19:22:12

I would have pronounced that An-ay-iss, but once you had told me how you wanted it pronounced I would respect that. He's being a dick.

MagicChanges Mon 19-Dec-16 19:22:17

Sorry but it sounds a very odd pronunciation - I know an Anais (can't do the dots) and it's pronounced Anay which doesn't cause any problem for anyone. I keep saying what you have said is the pronounciation and it just sounds it really R NAR S - surely not?

Kerberos Mon 19-Dec-16 19:24:40

Anais is usually pronounced "a-nay" isn't it?

dailyshite Mon 19-Dec-16 19:24:44


Clearly he know so there no excuse, but I'd pronounce that A-nay, like the 1980s perfume. Pretty name.

StewieGMum Mon 19-Dec-16 19:25:06

If he's this disrespectful to you, why visit him? There's no rule that says you have to visit family that are rude.

Reality16 Mon 19-Dec-16 19:25:25

anais is usually pronounced anay like the perfume

Never heard of ah nay ess

spidey66 Mon 19-Dec-16 19:25:29

I thought it was pronounced An-nay but the only other person I know of with that name is Noel Gallagher and Meg Matthews daughter, and had only seen it written down so am prepared to be corrected.

runningaftermydreams Mon 19-Dec-16 19:26:17

Hes saying

an - na - nay- us

Or Something like that , it didn't anything like her name. I was glad my Dsis corrected him because I thought I was hearing things.

I wouldn't mind if it was that he struggles with it but that he said he was choosing to say it that way just gets under my skin.

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