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Am I weird for wanting to spend Christmas in my own house?

(87 Posts)
Coffeerun Mon 19-Dec-16 17:39:54

Every year I decline invitations from my mil and my dsis to spend Christmas Day at their houses.

I just like to spend Christmas at home with dh and the dc. I'm happy to have visitors if anyone feels the need but don't particularly want to host lots of people. Growing up Christmas was always at home with my mum, dad and siblings, didn't leave the house, that's how I love it.

Most people I know do seem to spend Christmas with extended family and there's usually some arguments over which set of parents they'll go to, or seating arrangements or who cooks.

NavyandWhite Mon 19-Dec-16 17:42:02

Is anyone saying that they're annoyed by you wanting to stay at home?

MrsMozart Mon 19-Dec-16 17:43:43

We're always at home on Christmas Day. People visit which is fine. Boxing Day is always at home and no visitors or outings except for checking the horses and walking the dogs.

SerialReJoiner Mon 19-Dec-16 17:43:48

We stay home every year. It's absolutely fab. Dh's family can't host us (too small of a house) and they go to his sister or brother anyway. My family are hermits. fwink Staying home suits me fine.

lilyb84 Mon 19-Dec-16 17:45:08

DH and I have spent Christmas together just us since our 2nd Christmas together (we only met a month before Christmas so the first would have been a bit too soon!). Our families are both 60 miles away in different directions, my parents aren't together so seeing both sets of parents/partners plus both sisters and their partners is just too difficult. Plus we only bought a car last year, and have a cat with no one to feed him on Christmas day.

This year it'll just be us again with our 11mo ds and that's just how I want it. We spend December making sure we plan visits to (or host) our respective families and that's stressful enough in itself but we get to see everyone and exchange gifts then have Christmas Day how we want it!

I say do what you want but only you know your family traditions and what may or may not offend or upset your relations. Fortunately my family are fine with our arrangements but if they weren't I'd probably have made more effort to do things differently.

Rixera Mon 19-Dec-16 17:45:41

Not at all! I'm the same. Yes, the PIL are being funny about it but they'd just spoil my day if we did go, so we are staying and having a lovely time at home just us.

Millymollymanatee Mon 19-Dec-16 17:46:35

You're so not weird. Just do what keeps you and your immediate family happy and quit over thinking it.

CaraAspen Mon 19-Dec-16 17:48:41

The extended family thing is pretty much a nightmare at some point or other. Children like to be in their own homes at Christmas and many many adults do too. smile

Imissmy0ldusername Mon 19-Dec-16 17:51:39

This year, everyone in my family is doing their own thing, I think for the first time ever. It actually feels like a relief, probably for all concerned. We are all used to looking after ourselves during the rest of the year, and it can get a bit much with extra bodies around. Add to that all the socialising that happens either side, and a nice day to ourselves is just what the doctor ordered!

Coffeerun Mon 19-Dec-16 17:57:51

Navyandwhite no not at all. I was just curious because I do seem to be a minority. I kind of hadn't realised how few people seem to do what we do.

SocksRock Mon 19-Dec-16 17:59:35

I finish work at 2pm on Thursday. I shan't be leaving the house after that until 9am on 27th. Can't wait. Proper hibernation, lots of food and booze, lovely DH and lovely DC's. Inlaws coming on Christmas Day and we'll probably go for a walk. Beyond that, no way I going anywhere

NavyandWhite Mon 19-Dec-16 18:01:30

That's good then. I love being in my home too on Christmas Day. We live near a church and I can hear the singing in the morning!

Nothing wrong at all. Hope you have a fab day.🎄

Oysterbabe Mon 19-Dec-16 18:03:41

This will be our first year at home and not dragging ourselves around the country visiting and I can't wait! It's DD's first Christmas and I want to start making our own family traditions.

PNGirl Mon 19-Dec-16 18:04:05

Nope. We try and see my parents or the in-laws every third year but also make sure we have one in three at home, just us 2 making dinner in our PJs!

harderandharder2breathe Mon 19-Dec-16 18:04:10

Not at all! That's what I did growing up as extended family is big and far flung. Don't think I've ever been in a room with everyone never mind cooped up in s house for a few days!

AllTheBabies Mon 19-Dec-16 18:07:54

We always spend it in our own home. Anybody is welcome to come to us but we aren't travelling anywhere. We normally end up with my sisters and dd1's dad. We always have a great day.

My parents house is tiny, no room for us all to go there. My in laws are separated and at the other end of the country so that's not going to happen.

TroysMammy Mon 19-Dec-16 18:11:20

My parents have always had Christmas at their house. I wish they would come to mine so I can use all my lovely horded crockery but they won't. They only live 4 miles away and my DSis, BIL and DN live 2 miles from me and would be around in a heartbeat but we couldn't leave parents on their own, they would have no one to talk to, not even each other grin

My Dad preps the veg and likes go to his local on Christmas morning whilst my mother slaves over the stove refusing help. I could have Christmas lunch ready in half the time and put my dishwasher on afterwards but the answer is still no.

There is no chance of spending Christmas with my DP's family as they live in New Zealand.

Kel1234 Mon 19-Dec-16 18:16:06

This will be the first year I've been in my own home for Christmas. Last year dh, lo and I were at my mums, the year before that I was at my mums while dp worked (250 miles apart), and every year before that I was still living at home so was there.
This year dh isn't working Xmas day, and we wanted it to just be the 3 of us. But we now have my dad and dh's parents coming for dinner. But at least we are in our own home

SheepyFun Mon 19-Dec-16 18:32:09

The first year we were married, DH and I agreed that we would have Christmas in our own home. We've sometimes had others with us, and we do visit family around Christmas. However the stress of having to do Christmas the 'right way' (i.e. how my mother wants it) is not one I wish to visit on DH! We've never regretted the decision. However I've found we're relatively unusual, and it can make people assume that relationships with our families are worse than they are, so it isn't something we tend to broadcast. I suspect others on this thread have had similar experiences.

VodkaJelly Mon 19-Dec-16 18:36:53

I always stay at home, refuse to leave it. Used to go to my parents, my dad has a temper and screamed at my 3 year old who sat and sobbed eating his Christmas dinner, that was 14 years ago and despite hints being dropped and subtle emotional blackmail from the parents I refuse to leave the house. Hell would freeze over before I went to the in laws.

littleshirleybeans Mon 19-Dec-16 18:42:45

Staying home with dh and DC for the first time since DC were born, and I can't wait. We usually go to my mum's but TBH, it's stressful having to get everyone ready and out the door for 1pm.
Dh and I are usually up half the night wrapping presents etc so we're shattered on Xmas day.
DC have never had a chance to sit about and play with their new things.
I'm looking forward to staying in my dressing gown for as long as possible, and drinking cava as early as possible grin

yorkshapudding Mon 19-Dec-16 18:49:04

YANBU. I would LOVE to have Christmas day at home just me, DH and DD. Unfortunately, we have spent many a Christmas driving from one side of the country to the other in an attempt to keep both families happy. Big mistake. Once you do that, it becomes an expectation that you will do it every year.
This year is something of a compromise. We're going to PIL's for Christmas lunch but will be going home late afternoon so we can have the evening to ourselves and then a relaxing Boxing day at home. If MIL had her way we would arrive Christmas Eve and stay until New Years Day, anything less and were being "selfish". We have already decided that next year we will put our foot down and stay at home, anyone who wants to visit is welcome to but we're not travelling anywhere!

Roussette Mon 19-Dec-16 18:49:32

I think it's a bit selfish TBH.

My best friend... she hosts Christmas every year for her elderly parents because her brother and DSIL want christmas on their own with their now teen and grown up DCs. OK for a few years, their decision, but it wears a bit thin after 25 years when they still want it on their own. Now it's just her Mum as her DF passed away so her DB would have to come and pick their DM up, but they still won't do it. It's OK doing what you want but when one member of the family gets lumbered year in year out I do think it's a bit mean. (There is nothing wrong with her Mum but it just means they have to do the same every year now she's in her eighties and she stays for a few days too) They all get on BTW so there's no problem there.

Coffeerun Mon 19-Dec-16 19:04:53

Rousette that isn't really my situation. We are not leaving anyone alone or struggling.

Roussette Mon 19-Dec-16 19:07:47

I get that coffee but in years to come that might all change of course as parents/ILs get more elderly etc.
smile

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