Hi
I am a 25 year old woman with a partner of 8 years (who I do actually love), and a 5 year old daughter. I have spent the last 1 year wrapped up in a game on my phone. The game consists of a large community of people and spread to different messaging apps. So friendships inevitably started. For one year we have a group of 16 of us who have been together from the start of the game. Very deep friendships, laughter for hours on end, I could rely to any of these people to be there for me at any given time, they have helped me more than anyone in my real life ever has, I know how crazy it sounds.
So I started speaking to a guy on there separately and in a nutshell, I ended up talking to this man night and day. He gives me butterflies, to me he is like a drug. I knew he was married and I did tell him yesterday we cannot go on. He admitted he knew he had to finish it here. Since this moment I cannot stop thinking about this man. I can't stop crying, I miss him more than anyone ever in my life. Now I know this is crazy because I haven't met him but I feel deep pain inside and want to sleep for weeks on end to take the pain away, the first thing I think about when I open my eyes , is him. The last thing before bed, is him.
I feel no guilt towards my partner, he is emotionally abusive, shouts at me, name calling, makes me feel like I am worth nothing. I phoned him just now and he told me the reason he is so angry is because of the phone. He wants me back how I was before the phone stuff happened, and that he misses our relationship. I do come home from work, eat my dinner, sit in the kitchen on my phone for 2 hours then go to bed, with my phone on, until I eventually fall asleep at 4am. I check my phone 6 times plus in the night.
I feel heartbroken over this man, true deep pain inside of me, I cant eat, sleep, think properly anymore. I miss him so bad. Its eating away at me, still I feel no remorse to my partner. Why am I numb? Does someone know what is wrong with me ? I want to fix it all so bad and do not know how to start.
Please, help me
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AIBU?
I fell in 'love' with a married man on the internet.
97 replies
a2011x · 19/12/2016 11:53
OP posts:
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