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To be annoyed with OHs family?

(62 Posts)
PinkiePiesCupcakes Sun 18-Dec-16 22:52:30

Not one of them has gotten DD an Xmas present.

Gfs mum basically said she's not doing Christmas this year, no gift for DD.
Gfs brother spent too much on holiday in Turkey, he went for 8 weeks, got back Thursday, no gift for DD.
Gfs sister is saving to move in to a flat in Exeter in march next year with her boyfriend, no gift for DD.

It doesn't make a difference I guess but we travelled for 3 hours to see them and take gifts to them. Not one of them even so much as got her a card. She's only 3y8m so doesn't understand I guess.

Fwiw, my mum and step dad got her some little bits at least.

I dunno, so MN, AIBU to be annoyed?
I feel like they basically dont care enough about their Granddaughter / Niece to even get her a card.

Patriciathestripper1 Sun 18-Dec-16 22:57:46

That's very shitty and they sound selfish twats.
Christmas is all about the children.
I wouldn't get them anything and spend the money on DD instead.
Wouldn't waste time going to see them either.

PenguinsandPebbles Sun 18-Dec-16 22:58:02

Is the child your child and your GF step child?

I only ask as whilst I think it's a bloody rotten thing to do,it may explain it honestly still don't really get it as it's not hard to buy a colouring book

PinkiePiesCupcakes Sun 18-Dec-16 23:04:58

Nope, she's mine and gfs child.
All blood relations.

We gave them a gift each, signed from us and DD.
We didn't expect anything obvipoisly, were grown up, but DD is just a little girl.
It makes it worse that I know my mum and step dad struggle for money and yet they still spent on DD to get her something.
Gfs family are far better off, her mum owns her house outright, holidays three times a year to anywhere she likes.etc. brother splits time between here, Greece, Turkey and Cyprus. GFs sister is working a placement in a private mental health clinic just outside Exeter and in July bought a brand new Fiat Arbarth for cash.

But, I also believe people can spend their money on what they like so its not really relevant I guess.

KikiDee1 Sun 18-Dec-16 23:23:18

You sound grabby and a bit jealous.

Is it of any relevance about holidays and cars?

PenguinsandPebbles Sun 18-Dec-16 23:26:06

It's horrible of them I'm so sorry flowers

My DP has two DC he is the RP. My family were not particular well off when we first met and they still managed to get a colouring book and some pens.

It's horrible of them

PenguinsandPebbles Sun 18-Dec-16 23:27:21

WTF grabby and jealous!

It's a 4 year old child! They travelled for three hours and the child's own family couldn't be arsed to even get a card or small gift for the child.

PinkiePiesCupcakes Sun 18-Dec-16 23:28:06


I did say I it wasn't really relevant to the topic.

GravyAndShite Sun 18-Dec-16 23:29:16

KikiDee1 grabby and jealous fconfused

NiceFalafels Sun 18-Dec-16 23:29:30

I'm with you about adult gifts, it's fine not to give them. Maybe you should save your cash too.

I think it's very tight not to give a gift to your grandchild or niece. It shows how little thought they give to her. I recon things will change when they have kids.

Butterymuffin Sun 18-Dec-16 23:29:38

Fortunately she will be too young to notice, but it is mean of them. I would take it as read that you each no longer do presents for one another, and I would get them nothing and stay put next year.

IMissGrannyW Sun 18-Dec-16 23:29:38

go and buy some stickers/glitter etc, whatever your DD likes that costs less than £1 and give to them to give to your DD so she doesn't miss out.

Beautifully PA, and should shame them to their boots.

Accept no money. Give them paper and offer sellotape as well!

GravyAndShite Sun 18-Dec-16 23:30:02

It's totally fucked up. They could have wrapped up a box of malteasers at least!

NiceFalafels Sun 18-Dec-16 23:31:53

Even a pack of felt tip pens or pair of gloves could have been a nice gesture.

NiceFalafels Sun 18-Dec-16 23:32:19

What about her birthday?

PinkiePiesCupcakes Sun 18-Dec-16 23:32:25

I probably would IMissGrannyW but its a long drive to see them.
Were not planning on going down again till January 9th.

I don't know how shames theyd be, they happily took the gifts off our DD as she handed them to them.

NiceFalafels Sun 18-Dec-16 23:33:17

What ever you do don't dwell on it. Don't let their thoughtlessness ruin your xmas spirit.

SantasJockstrap Sun 18-Dec-16 23:34:28

I don't know, I can see how you would feel a bit fed up about the amount of effort you have put in, that has not been matched

However people are allowed to opt out of Christmas if they so wish if they genuinely cannot afford it and have other priorities - one of them is saving to move home. I can kind of understand that, as two years me and my husband opted out of Christmas as we were house deposit saving. Mind you we did tell people NO PRESENTS 12 months in advance, so it was understood that no one brought for us and likewise

Nirvanababy Sun 18-Dec-16 23:35:50

Wow kiki you sound nice...

Anyway Pinkie It's not grabby or jealous confusedhmm
DD is only 3, they could have at least gotten a wee token gift like a doll, puzzle or building bricks - all of which are £5 - £10, and if they were so broke tight then they could've clubbed together. She's just a baby.
You've both made an effort with them - and get repaid with arsehole behaviour. Next year don't make the effort and save yourselves the irritation at their selfishness.

TKRedLemonade Sun 18-Dec-16 23:40:38

What does your GF think? Are they embarrassed by their family? Personally I would be so sad on my daughters behalf. My little one loves presents ....could be a 10p page of stickers it's wouldn't matter it's the "someone got me something"
How miserable of them. If they wanted to opt out of presents they should have told you so you could opt out too and perhaps spent their present money on your DD

PinkiePiesCupcakes Sun 18-Dec-16 23:42:45

I can understand prioritising money, saving for a move is important.
But I doubt a £10 for a pair of pyjamas from B&M would have scuppered plans to move in several months.
(Considering seconds later the sister was telling us about the trip to NY on New Years eve she's bought and paid for. I won't mention that though cause I might get called grabby or jealous)

BlackeyedSusan Sun 18-Dec-16 23:46:45


ah pinky you are so grabby for giving them gifts. and going to all that effort to see them.

next time you know not to bother.

their excuses were pathetic given the circumstances.

Cornishclio Sun 18-Dec-16 23:46:58

Yanbu and I cannot understand how grandparents, aunts, uncles would not get their 3 year old granddaughter/niece a Christmas present or card. They sound really mean. Did they buy her presents last year and before?

JassyRadlett Sun 18-Dec-16 23:48:18

Why on earth are you visiting them again so soon? They sound a bit awful and thoughtless.

Pumpkintopf Sun 18-Dec-16 23:51:51

YANBU. That's awful.

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