Talk

Advanced search

To be bored to death of 'babies' and kids?

(89 Posts)
Skylett81 Sun 18-Dec-16 21:13:41

I'm mid 30s and my kids are both teens now. I have no interest in babies or "toddler talk" and to be honest, never really have. Even when mine were little I didn't feel the need to discuss them constantly.
Unfortunately it seems that I just can't get away from babies or toddler talk. A few weeks ago a friend and I were planning a meet up (few drinks in a bar) and she suggested we meet another friend. This other friend is Muslim so won't go in a pub so we said "fine, coffee shop would be great". Then however this other friend said that as we were meeting in a coffee shop she may as well bring her DD (who is around 15 months old). First friend then decided that if that was the case, she may as well bring her DD (roughly same age). This meet has now turned into a quick meet in coffee shop and then on to the nearby park. Now I don't want to go! It's bad enough listening to them talk babies continuously through the working day, I can't be doing with it out if work too. I was looking forward to getting together with friends, not a toddler class.

Similar thing happened last week at work. We organised a Christmas buffet for lunch time. One colleague said she was off that day but would come in if she could bring her DS (3). Cue ... many more colleagues deciding they would bring their kids so in the end the Christmas buffet resembled a bleeding kids Christmas party with toddlers fingering the good, screeching, whining etc etc - I ended up hiding away in the office and catching up with paper work.

Latest episode - we have started to plan a get together over Christmas. Idea was that it would be adults, wine and 'nibbles' however, due to family interference it has now turned into a kids Christmas party which I'm expected to organise as all anyone is interested in is bringing kids and making sure they're entertained!!

AIBU to wish I could find some like minded souls that are not obsessed with kids and babies?? The only release I get is my martial arts class which is 99% men - none of who chat babies!!

Daisyfrumps Sun 18-Dec-16 21:32:10

YANBU - it's infuriating. No harm in being explicit about child-free gatherings though.

Pigeonpost Sun 18-Dec-16 21:33:23

Yeah, all those inconsiderate mid 30's friends of yours should just lock their children in cupboards so that they don't offend the minority who had their children young and and are now 'over all that'. biscuit

Winniethepooer Sun 18-Dec-16 21:36:13

Find new friends?

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe Sun 18-Dec-16 21:36:34

People bringing children along does change the dynamics completely.
YANBU.

harderandharder2breathe Sun 18-Dec-16 21:39:44

You have extremely inconsiderate friends!

Who brings children to work unless they have to? And in what office is that acceptable?

Bobkinyoyo Sun 18-Dec-16 21:39:45

What pigeon said.

Also why are you complaining about hosting this gathering? If you don't want to host it then don't host it - presumably you are an adult and able to say no?

arethereanyleftatall Sun 18-Dec-16 21:39:47

Yanbu. But I would have no qualms in telling them 'much as I love your dc, this isn't what I had in mind. I'm out.'

FourToTheFloor Sun 18-Dec-16 21:40:33

Ha! You're looking to have the life your friends had pre dc and you didn't because you had yours young.

You probably need to find older friends. Mid 30s is prime baby making years now smile

NavyandWhite Sun 18-Dec-16 21:42:23

I sort of get you OP. But if you've got a lot of friends with young DC it's kind of inevitable that they will want to bring them when you meet up. Especially in the day.

Try arranging a drink in the evening?

BertieBotts Sun 18-Dec-16 21:42:56

I think this is pretty much par for the course with most mid 30s couples, TBH.

Just be picky about which gatherings you attend? There's no shame in it.

Trills Sun 18-Dec-16 21:43:25

You'd be unreasonable to never want babies around.

But not at all unreasonable to want SOME socialising without them.

Don't the parents want some time away from them?

JamesStPatrick Sun 18-Dec-16 21:45:06

Shame that thread about the child-free cafe was deleted. Would've been perfect for you, OP. Not sure how you'd prevent people talking about their kids, though.

You had kids young and have passed that stage. I agree it's time to find new mates, or risk sounding like a massive Scrooge.

icy121 Sun 18-Dec-16 21:47:56

YANBU. It's poor poor form to turn an adults catch up sesh into a toddler party. Definitely pull out of the coffee/park thing - it's not what you initially agreed to, so not at all unreasonable to pull out now.

Hosting the kids party at yours is trickier if it's wider family politics that have caused it.... could you tell them your boiler has broken down and you wouldn't want the little darlings to freeze? If your kids can't be trusted to keep schtum then turn the boiler off and make them do cold showers and wear jumpers for a few days.... Small price to pay IMO to avoid hosting a toddler group. Plus save some £ on bills for a few days....

Gooseygoosey12345 Sun 18-Dec-16 21:48:53

YABU to expect people not to talk about their kids but YANBU to expect to see your friends without their toddlers running around. If they can't make it without their kids to an "adult nibbles & wine night" then they shouldn't come at all imo. And to bring your kids to the work Xmas buffet is just odd :/ and I'm surprised it was allowed!

CorporalNobbyNobbs Sun 18-Dec-16 21:51:00

I understand how you feel but learn to say no! In the first instance I would have been reluctant to change to coffee shop (because I like wine) but may have done so anyway to include Muslim friend - but when she said she wanted to bring her child that was your opportunity to say no, you wanted an adult meeting.

Maybe you couldn't do anything about the work buffet but if you're organising the latest party with your family again you could have said no I don't want to organise that. So YANBU not to want to talk about babies but YABU to not stand up for yourself.

cosytoaster Sun 18-Dec-16 21:52:15

YANBU, I'm the same - but maybe you need to find some friends who are at the same life stage as you

icy121 Sun 18-Dec-16 21:53:11

I can imagine the reaction from my senior partners if someone suggested bringing their toddler to the work Xmas party... "of course! you bring your toddler and I'll bring your p45"

I have no idea what job you must do where a work buffet would be allowed to be hijacked like that.

CorporalNobbyNobbs Sun 18-Dec-16 21:53:31

Oh and btw I am 37, no kids and the majority of my friends have small children and babies so I do have to do this myself sometimes. Luckily my friends don't try and bring their kids everywhere.

cantmakeme Sun 18-Dec-16 21:59:39

Yanbu.
From pub to park visit!? Yuck. I am mid 30s with 6 year old, plus a baby on the way, yet I understand.

londonrach Sun 18-Dec-16 22:00:13

Yanbu re the office party. Thats very strange behaviour. Im surprised your bosses allowed it. As for your friend meet up id have said i wanted a chat up just us ladies or similar. Unless my dh took my dd i couldnt meet you but id love an hour or two child free to catch up with a friend.

Hardshoulder Sun 18-Dec-16 22:01:33

You sound as if you had children much earlier than your friends, so your lives are just at different stages because your children are older and less liable to tag along to adult occasions.

Trills Sun 18-Dec-16 22:02:25

I am mid-30s, some of my friends have kids and some don't.

All those saying "find friends in the same life stage as you" - must we only be friends with people with the same age/number of children as us? How limited life would be if that were true.

Mindtrope Sun 18-Dec-16 22:04:32

You are mid 30s with teens?

Wow.

NavyandWhite Sun 18-Dec-16 22:05:55

Why wow Mindrope? Having a baby at 20 is hardly worth a wow is it?!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now